This is total lame and completely not pit-worthy, so I thought I’d put it here.
I’ve realized I’m turning into a crotchety old lady. How do I know this? Well, since you asked, I’ll tell you.
I’m sitting here, with my mom visiting. I can hear her chewing. It’s driving me absolutely out of my mind, enough so that I had to leave the room, but she just freaking followed me into another one because she wanted to chat. Did I also mention that I like long periods of silence and my mom hates the quiet? So I’m subjected to the sound of her deep, excessive breathing, the noise of the flood slop-slopping in her mouth. Yuck.
Even worse is that she’s supposed to be leaving soon, but she’s found yet another freaking soap opera that she wants to watch. I hate soap operas. Yet here I am, All My Children or some other such travesty playing in the background.
The crux of the matter is that I was earlier thinking, “God, she’s so set in her ways that every time she visits, she has to have the TV on, has to eat what she wants with no regard to others, blah blah blah.” Then I realized that if I weren’t so set in my ways and so crotchety at only 32 years old, I wouldn’t be thinking this.
Yes, I could be worrying about much more serious problems. The banking crisis, my lack of a job, the war in Iraq. But all I can hear is slop, slop slop, breathe, breathe, breathe. I could be much more sympathetic, and my son will doubtless feel this way about me when I get older, if not more violently so since I’ll probably be certifiably insane by then, but I can’t stop. Hearing. The chewing. Gah!
So, any other grumpy old people (age is irrelevant) want to air what ails them in a non-pitworthy manner? Extra points for creativity, which I am clearly lacking today.