And I didn’t realize I was bringing a cliché to life until after I had said it.
Ever shout someone off your lawn?
Ever find yourself in the middle of a cliché?
mmm
Sure. A “college student” selling “magazine subscriptions.” What I actually shouted, though, was “Get off my yard, you freak!”
I realized I had become a middle-aged woman when I found myself going outside in broad daylight in a giant shapeless nightgown and flip-flops.
So did they get off your lawn?
My Dad used to use the old “Don’t make me stop this car” line, but IIRC he never actually carried through with it.
Close your robe. 
Just yesterday, I was driving thru the neighborhood when a ball came bouncing from between 2 parked cars, followed by a kid chasing after it. No squealing tires, and no panic, but I did have to stop.
A coupla months ago, I was making a bacon sandwich, and while I was slicing the tomato, the toast popped up, but it was stuck. I reached over with the knife to unstick it. I stopped myself in time to fully act out the cliche.
I’m a fat lady who gets burgers & fries with Diet Coke at the drive thru, all the time.
I’m normally in stocking feet while in my house. If I have to go outside just for a bit, and not much off my property, I’ll just slip into some soccer sandals I have on my back porch. Soccer sandals and socks. I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks.
I’m 49, and I have no lawn, but I’m grumpy. So if I had a lawn, I’d tell those fuckers every day to get off of it, with glee 
29 and I look out my window/blinds all the time when I hear noise, because I get annoyed and want to tell people to shut up. Only did it once so far because some teenage girl was running down the street crying with her boyfriend chasing her apologizing. It was only 9pm.
When I owned my own house, I had lots of cats. I have two now, which is my lease limit. I would have a house full if I were allowed to.
Did you shake your fist? I think that’s required.
I yelled it to a neighbor’s kid this winter, during/after a heavy snowstorm, because it was so absurd anybody could see the humor. She’s autistic so didn’t get the joke. It does bug me to some degree.
Some neighbors dog has discovered he/she likes to crap in my backyard. There’s always a present in roughly the same spot every few days. Haven’t figured out how to stop that.
I will often think very loudly that certain men I see should get a damn haircut.
Tip O’Neill himself once told my brother to get a haircut.
They did, and one of them apologized. I felt a little bad about it.
mmm
I told some nutcase to “Get a job ya bum” in 1997, a bunch of us were standing waiting in line to tour the White House.
I wear sandals in my apartment all the time, because I have cats (litter, toys, etc). Much easier to pull them off and put the shoes on to go out, then take the shoes off and put the sandals on when I come home.
I’ve walked down to my car, mail or the apartment office with the socks/sandals. I don’t care either.
For three weeks earlier this summer, it was just me, my 19-year-old son, and his 19-year-old girlfriend in the house, so I spent a lot of time talking to them.
I managed not to start every other sentence with, “well, when I was your age…” but it was extremely difficult.
I’ve been known to hang my laundry out on the lines while wearing robe and slippers. Yes, the robe is closed and it comes down to my knees.
I found out this week, my boss is young enough to be my son. The kid who shares my office is young enough to be my grandson. The engineer I work with most often is a year older than my daughter. They’re all welcome to be on my lawn, as long as they’re pushing a mower…
I was talking to a new-ish cow-orker recently and he mentioned he was born in 1991. I said, “so when you were born I had already been working here for 4 years”.
His expression was one you might expect to see on the face of someone who saw Jesus himself roll the stone aside and stroll out of the grave.
mmm