I stepped out of my NYC apartment today and about five seconds later passed a group of rowdy teenagers. One of them came within arm’s length of me and yelled, “Hey, my dad makes a cream that can take care of your bald head!” then laughed raucously, re-joined his friends and continued walking down the street.
Now, I’ve been around long enough to not give much of a shit what some idiotic teenager says to me on the street, but why ya gotta be so randomly assholish? At least let me cut you off or look at you funny before you go insulting me. I don’t know if I would have taken the time to say anything if I wasn’t on my way to work, but one of these days he’s going to say something to someone who’s got a gun under their coat.
Maybe I should have told him about the jerk store.
That quote though was actually the first thing I thought off, with the cream for your mom’s bald pussy though not quite in the same words, but the same sentiment. I am amazed that someone else came in and typed that same sentiment though too… Small world, huh?
He has a couple socks, Ed somethingorother and Whatever Diva, can’t quite recall the names.
Anyway - DooWahDiddy, as the Supreme Overlord and self appointed Ambassador of the Kingdom of Teenage Reality I officially apologize for my minion’s rudeness, they will be dealt with in time. (God I can’t wait to get out this hell-hole of a position and work on some REAL Evil Overlord stuff, this time machine is getting old and I need a new one, but I’m stuck with it until I at LEAST invade Poland).
Maybe he would have, maybe not, but I wouldn’t have said anything, I wouldn’t have acknowledged the remark or the fuckhead who said it (although many retorts would have gone through my mind) and I’d have continued on my way. I hear way too many accounts of things like this escalating with the wrong person and it always ends in tears. Or blood. Or an arrest…none of which I care to deal with.
Face it, teenagers can be real assholes. I always find it gratifying to remember that one day they’ll be my age and have to deal with the same assholes they used to be.
My husband and I were walking down the street the other day, and a truck speeds by. A teenaged boy is hanging out of the passenger side window and screams “BITCH!” at me as they go by.
WTF? It’s true, but hell, that kid doesn’t even know me!
It’s just the youngsters trying to be edgy and cool and stupid.
When I was in high school (in the days of the draft), I made fun of a uniformed soldier walking by, by saying “huptwothreefour”. He turned and walked back to me (I thought I was about to get my ass kicked), leaned in and said “Your turn is coming, asshole.” Turns out, he was prophetic. I’ve never forgotten the incident.
The other night my dad and I were stranded outside the historic McDonalds in Downey with car battery problems. Sis and BIL, who live nearby, showed up to help, and ended up having to help Dad replace the battery (fortunately there’s a Pep Boys nearby.) While this was going on, the local classic Volkswagen car club was at the McDonalds holding a Toys For Tots drive. The Marines showed up around 7 with one of those large trucks, I can’t remember the name for them. As the car enthusiasts and Marines milled about and gathered toys, a van drove by and some long-haired teenager stuck his head out the passenger window long enough to yell something unintelligible. I’m not sure if it was meant for the Marines or the VW fans; the intended targets didn’t even notice. Sis and I agreed that the kid was a complete idiot.
Haha, thanks for the posts, guys. Strangely enough, Valgard, a variant of that joke was the first thing that popped in my head when it happened!
Uvula Donor, I’m not really upset by it. The OP was kind of like a “what a bunch of poopy-heads” thing. It just sucks that if someone is having a bad day, something like that could send them over the edge, if they’re so inclined. And in this city that could be Bad.
I was walking past a group of teen aged soccer players waiting to play on the field in use who were having a great time ridiculing the Downs Syndrome afflicted brother of another player who was in the game going on that field. As a referee, I knew all the boys and for some reason my patience snapped. I spun around and got in the speakers face and with malice of forethought and as much intensity and conviction as I could I said, “I pray as hard as I can that your first born child is exactly like that.” This shut them up completely and put a ‘stunned’ look on their faces that was a joy to behold. I was around those boys another two years or so until they went off to college and I never saw or heard that they ever acted like that again. I hope they really didn’t. Hard to know.
I did many bad things as a teen but to be a general asshat was not one of them. Of course that was back when a person was held a bit more responsible for what they did.
I once got to get in a snappy reply after the shenanigans.
Once upon a time, I worked as a security guard for an upscale condominium complex in a generally pretentious area. Most residents I interacted with held themselves as much better than those people across town (i.e., people like me, my neighborhood) but for some reason the teenaged BS I saw there was worse than any I’d seen in my life.
One night, a stoned SUV-full of resident teens tore through the neighborhood screaming at me. One decided to moon me. Whatever, I thought. A few days later, I was at the local coffeehouse after my shift, when the kid and friends runs in to me.
“Oh, you’re that security guard I mooned the other night!”
“Yep. You need a diet and a tan.” The kid turned bright red and scurried away amid the guffaws of his buds. The killer was I was about 19 at the time. I started on the curmudgeon path early, no doubt due to whippersnappers like that little lardcake.
