Damn kids! Just cross the frigging street at a normal pace, not your disinterested, just rolled out of bed, the weight of the world has got me down saunter that seems to be in so much fashion. It isn’t going to ruin my day but it sure as hell is annoying. When I want to turn and I am going to have to wait for another light. Especially when you decide to start your unending trek across the Four Lanes of Tears after the “Don’t Walk” sign has started flashing.
I am not asking for a sprint, just as a courtesy a healthy pace is appreciated, especially when you should have the unending joy of youth and liveliness at your disposal.
Or worse, they walk down the middle of the frickin’ street when there’s a perfectly good sidewalk just a few feet away. And then give me dirty looks for wanting to DRIVE down the street. Gah!
I’m only 8 years away from having been a teen, and I’m already an old fogey.
No you’re not. If you were, you’d be here talking about this trend lately, of putting a countdown timer on the “Walk-Don’t Walk” signs. They give you something like 7.4 seconds to get across an intersection that takes more like 13.275 seconds to cross, so you make it about half way through the intersection before you have to drop your cane and do a Forrest Gump the rest of the way because you can hear all the impatient whippersnappers gunning their engines and watching for the light to turn to “don’t walk” so they can - in their minds - legally run you down.
AND PICK UP YOUR FEET WHEN YOU WALK. The shuffling, my god the shuffling. Is life so fucking exhausting that you can’t PICK UP YOUR FEET WHEN YOU WALK?
When I’m behind a thicket of teen girls shuffling in their flip flops I want to kick them in their knees and walk right over the backs of the fallen.
What I don’t get are the pajama bottoms(They have tops on too, usually tank tops) and fuzzy slippers that the girls are wearing to school. Am I a foggeyette?
Word!!! (oh wait, no one but old farts says that anymore)
I live with one of the aforementioned shuffling teen girls and the shuffling has driven me to insanity. Its not just the flip flops, the child appears to be completely incapable of tying her Vans too! (Vans, not Airwalks, only losers wear Airwalks :rolleyes: ) I swear it wasn’t that long ago that she was so proud of herself for learning to tie her shoes all by herself and now…
The boys have to shuffle. See, their pants are slung half-way between their bum and their knees, so shuffling (legs akimbo) is the only way to move forward without dropping their dacks completely.
Although, given that their arses are already exposed, I can’t see why the prospect of losing their pants should matter to them really.
The Fashion Afficionados have come up with a solution to us mad old crones (and fogeys) whispering such things.
They invented STOVE PIPE JEANS, so even though the Calvin Klein jocks (and the stinky skidmarks) are still exposed, the cling of the denim to the leg ensures that the pants don’t actually fall down anymore. At least not to the ground.
Bloody kids have an answer for everything nowadays.
