"Hip" phrases to drive my kids wild

If you are fortunate enough to have teenagers, you can appreciate that one of parenting’s benefits is the ability to embarrass your kids by saying and doing things that attempt to appear cool. I fear I’ve pretty much exhausted the possibilities of “I’m jiggy wid dat”, and my hip hop hand gestures are so passe.

Anyone willing to assist me in being up-to-date in my attempts to clearly indicate to my kids just what a clueless old fart I am?

I’d suggest you watch an entire series of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and model your vocabulary on that. Yo! Radical!

Here’s one possibility.

Use plenty of internet slang, but make sure you spell out all the acronyms, viz:

“Hey have you seen that Emm Pee Eee Gee movie of the kid with Star Trek light sword thing? Ell Oh Ell!”

Mr. Athena likes to say “I am down with that” in a perfect monotone, enunciating every word. I think your kids would like that.

To annoy the kids at work, I’ve started adding “because that’s the way I roll” to various mundane office instructions, such as “After you assemble the briefing books, please put them in alphabetical order for me, because that’s the way I roll.”

My mom used say “don’t be dissful” in 100% seriousness, which would pretty much make my brother and I weep with laughter. We still say it to each other, in fact. :slight_smile:

Or, alternatively, “That’s the way I rule”

Because it makes them twitch even harder if you not only misuse the phrase du jour, but mispronounce it, as well.

You could mix slang from different decades possibly in the same sentence. I like the term “sike” (“psyche”?) from the 80’s. It means to trick or fool.

“We are going to Hawaii next week?”

“Really!”

“Sike!” said loudly and with a slight hiss.

You can hit the person in the head when you say it as well. Sike is best used as frequently as possible for full effect. Over 100 times a day was not unheard of back in the day.

Great suggestions, folks.
Keep em coming - because that’s the way I roll!

Psyche, I’m pretty sure. “Sike”? Are you joshing me? Bust a move, yo, you groovy hep cat who’s totally rad and excellent.

Nothing makes my 14 year old flinch like a well-misplaced “izzle”. Even better if you mix in some really dated slang. Super doubleplus bonus points if you can work some rappish rhyme into it:

“Hey, daddy-o, want some syrup for that waff-izzle?
It’s cool! It’s hot! It’s everything you’re not!
Oooh! Diss!”

Being an incredibly white housewife probably just ups the ouch factor.

I love to mess with my teenage boys by interjecting a [flavorflave]YEEEEAH BOYEEEEE[/ff] at random. That always gets a rousing “Oh God, mom, you’re so weird!!!” Other favorites include such phrases as “keepin’ it real” and “yo, homie, I don’t play”. Good times… good times.

You go, girl.

This thread reminds me of a completely unrelated thing. I’ve posted this before, but I never get tired of it:

I should add in one other event.

To understand it, however, you must understand what I mean by “rapper hands.” Do this: Put your hands in front of your chest, palms towards chest, fingers pointed down. Keep your elbows out away from your body. Spread your fingers slighly, then curl your ring fingers in a little bit. Got it? Now say “Yo yo yo bitch, I’ll fuck you up!” and emphasize all of the strong syllables with a slight downward thrust of your hands. Extra finger bling helps.

That’s rapper hands.

So anyway, while on vacation a few years ago, my girlfriend and I decided to wrap up our day with some ice cream. We say at a table, licking our cones, and I contemplated the crowd still in line. There was a family of four, who were quite possibly the whitest and middlest class and suburbanest white picket fencers you could imagine. “Pack the kids into the minivan 'cause we’re going to Friendly’s” level of white. Except the teenage son. He looked like a rapper-wannabe, except all of his bling came from The Gap.

So as they waited for ice cream, I saw the mother ask the son a question, but I couldn’t hear it. The son got this tough “I’m gonna git you, sucka” look on his face. Emphasizing his words with rapper hands, he told that white bitch, “Yo, mint chocolate chip.”

Hahaha, this is great. I bet my parents did this.

I use ‘For real’ a lot for some reason, and ‘dude’, usually one right after the other.

‘That was a wicked storm last night, eh?’

‘For real, dude!’

Oh, and wicked is good too.

In correspondence: STFU, roffle, NO U, kthnxbye.

Me neither. I was giggling halfway through, waiting for the “Yo, mint chocolate chip” part. Ah, good times!

One of the more hilarious/horrifying aspects of being a parent is realizing you were right all along as a kid. They DO wait until you go to bed to have ice cream and popcorn and watch the good movies without you. They ARE trying to embarrass you in front of your friends. They REALLY DON’T have a clue who the latest singers and actors are, and THEY DON’T CARE!!! :smiley:

This thread reminds me of a conversation I recently had with my 16-year-old. In it’s entirety:

Me: Hey, don’t forget to save your Cokerewards points for me.

Son: Oh, okay. Are you gonna get that skateboard you’ve been wanting?

Me: You know how I love skatin’ and taggin’. I will never stop. It’s my life.

Son: Well, I know how you like to keep it real, mom.

I’ve never skateboarded, by the way.

Ain’t it the truth-izzle!

The 19-year-old who answers the phones in the afternoon at my office once said, after I tripped over the curb out front, “You so got owned!” I actually had to have her explain what she meant. Ever since then, I use “owned” every chance I get. It’s completely meaningless to me, but it drives her nutz that I have no idea what I’m talking about.

Thought of this too late to edit:

When my sons were teens, I would requently greet them, “Hey, dude, whatcha’ dude’in’?” Expecially when they were with their friends. It irked them so much they begged their mother to make me stop. She tried. She failed.