What are your real life catch phrases?

I have a few that I’m known for. The “not so much a catchphrase as something I say to excess is” anyway, anyway, anyway, the whole together being about one syllable, as I tend to digress in talking.

Two I’ve become famous for with student workers, both spoken in the dialect/cadence of an obnoxious old southern man (think “Big Daddy”), are “Tell 'em go straight to hell!” and “Whatcha wan’ me to do about it, bust out cryin’?”. Both are used in private and sparingly enough that they’re unexpected, and particularly when not expected.

“Jon, there’s a lady on the phone from XYZ catalogs to speak to somebody about a reference order…”
“Tell her go straight to he-yull!”

or

“Jon, the copier has a jam…”
“Whatcha wan’ me to do about it, bust out cryin’?”

I’ll then take the call or fix the copier of course, but the nice thing being that some of the students have copied it and use it themselves. Sparingly.

Do you have any that you’re known for?

“meh”
“Have I mentioned that I loathe people?”

To my kids when they tell me they’ve done their chores:

"It’s not that I don’t believe you - it’s just that I don’t believe you"

At this point, they usually finish the second part of the sentence - with their backs to me as they stalk off to actually get the chore done. :wink:

Also to my kids, when they make some outlandish request:

"Sure you can - well, except for the fact that you can’t"

Much eye-rolling from both parties ensues…

I’ve recently adopted a 2yr cat who likes to tear around the house and jump up and down on things so because of him I’ve started using “Enhance your calm.” to him and in general conversation.

Every now and again I will get very annoyed with stupid people and tell them I will explain it in words of one syllable. Which led to my nickname - Sister One Syllable.

Mine are mostly borrowed from Seinfeld, most frequently “…people. They’re the worst.”

Not so much catchphrases as deliberate mispronunciations of places of business:

Kroger is Regork
Circuit City was Suck It Silly
Big Star (defunct supermarket) was Big Rats
Captain D’s (seafood place) is Captain Hook’s
Best Western is As Good A Western As Any
Sonic is Scenic
Long ago when it went by that name, Sears & Roebuck was Sit & Rearback
Toys R Us is We Be Toys and Shit
any Car Wash is a Car Mash

I like to answer questions with “yeah, as far as you know”.

Watermelons in Mexico.

I got this from a conversation I overheard at the back of the bus in ninth grade, and now my family uses it to indicate that a change in topic is needed. “So, what do you think of the price of watermelons in Mexico?” Subtle, isn’t it? :smiley:

I’ve also been known to use, “What does that have to do with the price of watermelons in Mexico?”

One that can’t be personal since I ripped it off from a buddy many years ago and continue to use to this day:

Whenever the choice is mine to make on something I really have no preference on, it’s always, “Whatever’s right.”

I would be willing to bet that half the USA under the age of 80 uses it, too.

Mine is mostly: “And your point is…?”

(Yeah. snotty.)

“Imagine my astonishment.”

Another non-original: A bargain at half the price.

Muttered around my friends:
“These are my friends, I do not need to be afraid”
usually followed by:
“I trust you with my life, but not with my dignity.”

I tend to understate things and be vague. Sometimes my answer to questions is, “Something like that,” even when it’s exactly that.

Then there’s the one where someone insults me and I act pissed off. I say, “You know what?” If they don’t know me real well, they say, “What?” If they do, they say what I say to the former group, which is, “You can go to hell.”

And I like to say ahoy. That’s such a great word.

“It’s only money and life’s short.”

I like to make an ironic statement, pause, then follow it with a phrase which completely negates it. I freely admit I stole the phrases from popular culture.

Like:

Wow, I completely believe that the company I work for has their employees’ best interests in mind - ONLY NOT!

Hey, that riced-out car parked in front of our house is is really great - FOR ME TO POOP ON!

When I was a little kid, my friend and I spent one winter vacation playing Joe Montana Sportstalk Football for Sega Genesis non stop. Ever since then I’ve adopted two phrases from the announcer which I say in the same disjointed compute generated voice.

When something neat happens: “Oooo My!”

When there is any sort of heavy precipitation: “It’s really coming down now!”

Uhhh…I do the same thing. Especially, “I don’t believe it!”

“Suck it up, Princess!” - usually uttered to males in response to some sort of comment or complaint they make.

“Grab a pair and get to work, Snowflake.” - usually uttered to males in a motivational way. I have others based on the “precious Snowflake” concept.

Tripler
That’s all I got.