The new statistician who started with us a year ago, and who works for me half-time, is 22 years old. She’s young enough to be my granddaughter, since I’m 63. We listen to a lot of the same music, though. 
I almost cut my hair. It happened just the other day…
I, in fact, did. I now have a standard issue woman-of-a-certain-age do and I care not. 
Nice thread-title/OP username combo.
I, too, have left the house in a fuzzy bathrobe and slippers to take the trash to the curb.
I have told the kids “Don’t make me stop this car” and actually done it. (We just sat there until order was restored.)
I have, when much younger, set off down dark alleys in heels and pretty clothes.
I thought of one more: I have told the kids “Just wait 'til your father gets home.”
Years ago when we still lived at home, my brother and I were sitting in the den watching TV when a mouse ran across the floor. We both leapt up on our chairs… and then laughed for 5 minutes because we never believed that people actually did that when they saw a mouse.
I often walk my dog up to several blocks wearing a robe but only in the dark or very early morning when not too many are about.
Wait, can you give details? I’m wondering if I should briefly panic before deciding I don’t care.
I wear an onion on my belt.
I go on about when I was a kid I could buy 4 candy bars for a dollar ,
,or when I seen an actual arcade game that takes dollar bills it was some huge thing with a actual raft and oars and you tried to make through the course shown the screen in front of it by actually rowing and steering the raft …I reminisce when there was only one or two games that were that expensive in the 80s and 90s …
oh and I hooked up my Atari flashback 4 that I got for xmas a while back and was pissed that they messed with some of the games … my nephew didn’t know the difference and couldn’t understand why I was mad …
Oh, Dickety! That’s back in style again?
I’ve only had to chase chickens and wild horses off my lawn (so far).
Funny lawn story: I got a bunch of free sod, and was laying it out for a “redneck lawn”. I got about 2 pieces laid out (maybe 4 square feet) when Doxie The Dog comes over, rolls around for a few seconds on it, then pees.
Hadn’t been down for a minute!
Years ago, someone (SNL maybe?) parodied the Rolling Stones “Get off of my Cloud”. I can’t say that sentence without starting it, “Hey, hey, you, you…”
But that’s how you know it’s a success! 
Once I was staying at my house, walked to a school clinical placement during a city wide shutdown, (Muffin will remember the Big Snow of 1996) and then went to my parent’s place after. So I walked to work in a snow storm: up-hill both ways.
Regardless of your age, those kids need to be off your lawn. Tell people to raise their own kids.
Decided you didn’t have to let your freak flag fly, huh? 
Damn, it’s been YEARS since I thought about that song…
It wasn’t merely that they were on my lawn that irritated me. This was across-the-street neighbors who had some sore of gathering going on. A group of kids - some of them teens - thought it would be fun to play catch with some kind of ball from one lawn across the street to another lawn (mine). And their ball was soaring over the top of my vehicle which was parked on the street.
So yeah, get off of my lawn.
mmm
I’ve told this story before. I came out of our “house” in a dressing gown, with a mug in hand, to sit on the steps, smoke a cigarette, and drink my beverage. I am an overweight white woman. At the time, I was missing a molar and hadn’t got an implant yet. And I still smoked, of course.
The “house” was a double-wide trailer.
I was literally, the very idea of what you would think a double-wide dweller looked like. The only thing that didn’t fit the cliche was drinking tea, not coffee, and I always read whilst smoking.
Ooh! Ooh! Me, too.
I just don’t like regular Coke. Ugh, way too sweet and syrupy. I honestly prefer diet Coke with a quarter-pounder-with-cheese-large-fries.
I thought this specific cliche was called “cane-shakery”.
When I was substitute teaching for the first time, some kids (about age eight) were walking around the classroom. I told them it was time to sit down, so we could begin the lesson.
“Why should we?” one demanded.
“Because I said so, that’s why.” My teaching methods professor would have been horrified. However, the kids did sit down.