Ask the Perpindiguayan...

As a Perpindiguayan (i.e. someone who is not Paraguayan), I am ready to answer any questions about not being Paraguayan.

A little background:

I’m not Paraguayan, I don’t know any Paraguayans and I’ve never been to Paraguay. I know roughly where it is on the map, but know little of its history or culture, other than a vague knowledge of the Tripartate War, and its being a retirement home for ex-Nazis after WWII.
I do remember England beating them 3-0 in the1986 World Cup though.

So… Any questions?

Do your people have an embassy? I bet it’s in Paraguay.

Where on the “all nations are drunks scale” is Perpindiguay? Somewhere around Czech Republic? More to the Russia/Ireland end?

What’s not travelling to Paraguay like?

How often to you not travel to Paraguay?
Is it unlike Patagonia?

What is your favorite not-Paraguayan food? How about your favorite place to visit in non-Paraguay?

Tell us about not-Paraguayan people. What are their customs? What kind of clothes do they wear? Who were the first not-Paraguayans?

Do Perpindiguay and Paraguay share a common border? Is it lace?

Have you ever not met and Paraguayans you didn’t like? What were their names? Did they floss?

Where is the highest point in your country? If we visit there can we take home a rock?

Also, how high are you currently?

All embassies in Paraguay are Perpindiquayan, although none of them identify themselves as such, preferring to reference themselves in terms of their particular region of Perpindiguay.

It varies regionally; on the whole Paraguay would have have higher consumption rates, but certain regions of Perpindiguay (including the ones you mentioned) could drink them under the table.

I try to avoid the Bakerloo Line, but apart from that it’s not really a problem.
Hopes this helps!

If you say someone is ‘Butthurt’ in Latin American countries that aren’t Paraguay, will that get you shanked?

Is a Uruguayan Perpindiguayan?

Do you know and Orthoguayans or Metaguayans? I bet they are aromatic.

I’m not over familiar with the Latin American region of Perpindiguay, but I understand it’s a bit South West of Cornwall. Calling someone ‘Butthurt’ in Cornwall would likely result in a puzzled look, but they’d want to fight you anyway. Because they’re Cornish.

Hope this helps!

Is there a Paraguayan cavy?

This is a rather difficult question, one that scholars are divided on. It boils down to the question of Greater Paraguay (i.e. before the Tripartite War) and the current boundaries. I’d say no, but I recognize this is rather a grey area. It’s really down to the individual to self identify, rather than have an identity thrust on them.

No, I try to steer clear of Scotland.

As I said, I’ve got a very limited knowledge of Paraguay, so I wouldn’t know.

I’ve heard the Peruvian ones are tasty, though.

Do Perpindiguayans wear their underwear on the inside or the outside?

It’s funny you should bring this up. My entire life I’ve had this unusual feeling that I’ve never been anywhere near Paraguay which somehow supports the possibility that I may be something other than a Paraguayan.
So, while I can’t for certain prove to myself or others I still feel very strongly that I may, in fact, be a Perpindiguayan.

Is there some sort of test or certification I can have performed to determine this once and for all?
Can a doctor perform this test?
Is it discrete? In other words am I obligated to tell my spouse the results?

Need answer fast.

What about Qadgop? Does a Mercotan encompass the state of perpindiquayan or does mercotanianism include paraguayanism, while excluding it if you’re watching, like the two-slit experiment?

I’m a Perpindiguayan too, and I always thought the majority of other Dopers are likewise. (Am I just making a stereotyped Perpindiguayist assumption here?) Anyway, if that’s true, then this will probably be a short thread. After all, presumably only the relatively few unperpindiguayan people on this Board would have any questions to ask, right?

Excuse me while I report myself for threadshitting.

Every day.

There’s not so many Scotsman still trying to hitch-hike their way back from the 1978 World Cup as there are in Patagonia.