Ask the Senior Obama Campaign Aide

OK, I’m not really, but I’m willing to pretend.

So… my White House gig was fun, but now it’s good to be back in Chicago, working on the reelect. Romney and Santorum are busily tearing each other down, the economy is improving a bit, the President’s numbers are up, and at this point things are looking pretty good for November (not that there are any guarantees, of course).

What’s on your mind?

Err…I don’t get the premise. Are you a minor campaign aide pretending to be a senior campaign aide or someone with no connection to the Obama campaign pretending to be a campaign aide or something else?

Sorry. Option 2.

Okay.

“Mr Heir, how do you answer allegations that some aides in the Obama campaign are living in a fantasy world?”

I deny it categorically. We’re entirely focused on helping the President win reelection.

What’s President Obama’s position on answering the question he was asked, as opposed to the question he prefers to answer (cf. Mitt Romney, in response to the final question of the latest Republican debate)?

ETA: What is his position on how his senior campaign aides should approach the matter?

The President prefers always to answer the question asked, rather than the question he prefers to answer, but I must admit that sometimes he does slip. The American people want and deserve responsiveness from their elected officials. He holds his campaign aides to the same standard, and of course we strive to measure up.

A follow-on, please: Why does the President hate America?

No, no, no. You have to try and box him in a little tighter:

Please list the top 5 reasons why Obama hates America. We’ll get to Christians next.

A tighter box, eh?

Okay, how about this: When did the president stop beating his wife and his children?

He doesn’t. :rolleyes:

See above.

He never started, and has no intention of ever doing so.

Is it just me, or does this thread seem to be sort of . . . odd? A joke thread?

The joke is on the OP.

When Mr. Barry Soetero is having gay sex with Communist spies who are also double agents for Al Quaeda, does he smoke meth first, or just take Ecstasy?

So you admit to the wife beating and kid beating then. An ongoing pattern.

That’s disappointing to hear. I wouldn’t have believed it myself had it not come from a source as close as you are to the President.

To even ask a bizarre question like this suggests you might be doing so yourself.

Hmm. Your followup remarks might make more sense if you actually read what I wrote.

OBAMA CABINET INSIDER LEAKS ACCOUNTS OF DRUG-FUELED BAREBACK GAY SEX. MICHELLE OBAMA MOSTLY A BEARD, BUT SOMETIMES DOMINATRIX.

Account says they do it on Muslim prayer rugs in the East Wing hallways. Aides sworn to secrecy.

If anyone who doesn’t work for Fox News would like to post in this thread, well, feel free.

[QUOTE=Fiddle Peghead]

A tighter box, eh?

Okay, how about this: When did the president stop beating his wife and his children?
[/QUOTE]

The Republican candidates are probably stupid enough to think shit like this might work,
and they will soon be desperate enough to try it. Won’t get the motherfuckers elected, though.