[QUOTE=olivesmarch4th]
Well, I don’t really have any questions, but congratulations on your Civil Partnership! My best friend was getting married (to another woman) last year, but she actually broke it off and is now living with someone else. She always called herself “bisexual” in high school, and one day she said, “You know, am I really bisexual, or do I just say I’m bisexual because that way I can still cling to the hope of living a “normal” life?” Ever since then she’s called herself a lesbian.
It’s relevant, because I love her. I’m a very straight girl, but when I was in high school I actually went through a phase where I thought I might be in love with her. I tend to fall in love with people’s souls, not their bodies. I think sex with a woman might be interesting–well, maybe even AMAZING, because who knows womens’ bodies better than another woman? My husband is utterly perplexed with the female anatomy. Now that I’m married all possibility of a lesbian tryst has gone out the window.
I’d like to believe that sexuality doesn’t HAVE to be genetic–that sometimes you can just have paradigm shifts or be naturally open-minded or experience an event that changes everything. That sounds kind of like what happened to you. I think there’s a danger of attacking sexuality as something that’s “not a choice”–because it implies that there is something wrong with people who do make that choice. As long as it’s “not a choice” it can be vilified as some kind of psychological disease instead of just a variant of human behavior and free will. (For what it’s worth, I definitely believe there is a huge biological component–I know way too many men who swear up and down they were in love with other boys from day one.) But I also know a lot of people like you–and people like me, who, though I feel 100% straight, I could probably be quite happy living with another woman for the rest of my life. Why can’t there be a spectrum, and everything on that spectrum be welcome and embraced?
My 16-year-old sister-in-law is going through a similar kind of thing right now. She calls herself bisexual but doesn’t seem particularly interested in boys at the moment… though she liked boys a lot just a couple of years ago. Certain family members believe she’s “acting out” because they can’t understand how someone so stereotypically feminine could really be attracted to other women. :rolleyes: I’m glad I was friends with so many people who dealt with sexual orientation issues in high school, because it gives me some clue as to where my sister is at right now, and allows me to a be supportive in a much more empathetic way.
Yeah, rambling… best of luck to you both!
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Hey thanks for the ramble, you speak a lot of sense! I certainly believe that sexuality is something very hard to define for a lot of people, myself included. No doubting that many people regard themselves as gay from ‘day one’, but I suspect there’s a lot more who see there sexuality shift over the years. Depends what life throws at you I suppose.
What I find interesting is that it seems more gay men than women have a very black and white view of sexuality, whereas I know LOADS of women who are varying shades of grey. Why, I wonder? Is it because coming out is a bigger deal for men? Is bisexuality more acceptable for women than men? So many questions, so few answers.
There, a ramble of my own.
