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___(( )_ |
|'->==)) (= \ |
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|[> \___________\ |
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\ | | .--. |
\ | |)---. .---' `-. .----(]|
\|____________| `-' `. .' |
`---' *****|
Is this the best time of day to eat toast?
^^ @@@@@@@@@
^^ ^^ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ ^^
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
~~~~ ~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~ &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~
~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~
~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~~~~~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~
_ __ _ __
( `^` )) ( `^` ))
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hee '-----'` '-----'`
Obviously, this toaster’s location shows that it is broken, as it will only toast one side.
Toaster, why did you singe six of my fellow slices to a crisp last month? All they wanted was to be toasted to a golden-brown buttery perfection…
sobs
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___(( )_ |
|'->==)) (= \ |
| \ ||_____|_ \ |
|[> \___________\ |
| | | | |
\ | | .--. |
\ | |)---. .---' `-. .----(]|
\|____________| `-' `. .' |
`---' *****|
TOASTER: Would you like some toast?
LISTER: Uh-Uhm.
TOASTER: Some nice hot crisp brown buttered toast?
LISTER: Uh-Uhm.
TOASTER: You don’t want any toast then?
LISTER: No.
TOASTER: What about a muffin?
LISTER: Nothing!
TOASTER: You know the last time you had toast? 18 days ago. 11:36, Tuesday the 3rd. Two rounds.
LISTER: Ssshhh!
TOASTER: I mean, what’s the point of buying a toaster with artificial intelligence if you don’t like toast?
LISTER: I do like toast!
TOASTER: I mean, this is my job! This is cruel! Just cruel!
LISTER: Look, I’m busy!
TOASTER: Oh, you’re not busy eating toast, are you?
LISTER: I don’t want any!!
TOASTER: I mean, the whole purpose of my existence is to serve you with hot, buttered, scrummy toast. If you don’t want any, then my existence is meaningless.
LISTER: Good.
TOASTER: I toast, therefore I am.
LISTER: Will you shut up?!
Could you teach me how to raise a toast to my cousin at his wedding?