Yes!
Thanks for the information. I had assumed that the created a penis by using the flesh inside the vagina - basically turning it inside out.
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I avoided public bathrooms for a long while. I started using men’s bathrooms when I started a part time job when I was in uni - after I’d changed my name - and in the tour they gave me, they showed me the men’s bathroom, without asking any questions. I passed about 50% of the time, at this point - but they, knowing me by a male name, didn’t question it. That’s when I thought I could get away with it.
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Yes, I am.
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No, I don’t have more aggressive emotions. Yes, I do have a different emotional palette. A lot of this is psychological; I started becoming physically who I needed to be, psychologically, and that made me feel a lot more stable and in touch with myself. That, in turn, has made me less aggressive. Most of the male-type aggressive emotions I had were there before the testosterone, to be honest. What has happened is my spelling has worsened! And it’s not just me; it happens to a lot of FtMs.
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Definitely. I’m treated like a man, and yes, it is different. Little things I do are taken differently from if I were a woman - I’m seen as more emotional, more sensitive, friendlier, than other men - all because I learnt these things having been socialised as a female. When I was seen as female, I was seen as colder than I am now.
I’m also looked at to make the decisions more (by third parties), if I’m with a female friend. I often tend towards directing things, naturally, but…people’s expectations have changed, here.
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I’m almost always taken as male when I answer the phone. The “tranny voice” in FtMs usually comes from talking in the upper register. I took voice classes for theatre - nothing to do with being FtM - and was shown a trick to make your voice project properly, to make it stronger…that is, make sure you’re talking down in your body rather than up in your head, make sure you can feel the vibrations in your chest. That’s what I do. It worked perfectly to keep my voice in whatever the current natural register was, for my voice. Though I do sometimes forget, and I did go through a really awkward period when I was nineteen or twenty, when I was passing as a guy, and yet if I got excited about anything, I’d crack a high.
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No, it stopped about three months after I started hormone therapy.
Oh, but on the bathrooms again - it’s a real matter of contention to FtMs. Especially bathroom etiquette. Not to talk, not to look at anyone, is it okay to sit down in the stall?
I’ve always figured…the stall’s there for a reason. But it is a big worry for a lot of FtMs.
Yeah, this may be really stupid, but hey.
Do you identify at all with the Max character from the L Word? Do you see him going through the same experiences that you did/are?
(For the record, for the most part I do like the show 'cuz I’m a guy and I like to see breasts. I find a lot of the character changes that have occured pretty outlandish, though)
Are you asking for advice? If so, I’ll sit down occasionally while peeing at home but never in public. Two reasons, the seats are “dirty” and guys are supposed to stand up while peeing.
I’ll gladly answer questions too, it’s been a while since I havn’t done one of those Trans 101 stuff in real life.
I’m 27yo and also a female-to-male transsexual (and french). I’ve been taking testosterone for 7 years now, have had top surgery about 6 years ago and had my ovaries removed almost 4 years ago. I had my new id card about 3 years ago (and in france being sterile through surgical ways is a requirement to change your sex on your id card).
I knew I was “transsexual” when I was 12yo. I’m nearly only attracted to men (meaning I can be aroused by some women but I won’t really try to have sex with one and don’t wish to date or spend my life with one)
I used to be heavily involved in the activist trans scene in France and set up the first online forum in french for FTM folks back in 2003.
I live in the countryside now and only do some online stuff now, though I do from time to time workshops on gender and sexuality for social workers students and have been published about trans/intersex stuff and sexuality.
As a teen and young adult I really wanted to have surgery to have a penis, then I discovered the pleasures of what I currently have and wow what a ride! Now and then I get bouts of dysphoria about my genitals, because it didn’t grow down there as much as for many other trans guys, and I still don’t like to look at them, but it’s not strong enough to make me want to go under the knife one more time.
Far more trans men get genital surgeries in europe than in the usa because it is generally funded by the respective health care systems. Results vary by surgeons. Extremely poor in france (low cosmetic value, no feelings, can’t pee through it) to really good in, say, belgium or switzerland (better looking, can still have orgasms if stimulated, can pee through it, can have erection system implanted).
Well, it does seem it is trendy to date or have sex with FTM folks in dyke/queer circles. I do think too FTM folks are given more attention than lesbian butches in some circles.
I have seen no difference, whether when I was still looking like a girl and that I was telling my friends I was trans, or whereas now, when from time to time folks end up knowing I’m trans.
I think trans men are seen as “cute” and “harmless” whereas transwomen are often seen as “ugly” and “scary/dominant”. There often isn’t much interactions between FTMs and MTFs, except for the younger crowd I would say. And yeah, unless it’s a pretty specific event taking place in the queer/dyke community, there is usually way more transwomen than transmen, though here it has begun to chance, in orgs and in the activist world.
I told them when I was 17yo, being close to majority and knowing I could soon begin the process, I broke down one day and told them. They reassure me of their love and that they would support me (they, BTW, paid for my top surgery (about 3000 euros) and my id change (about, huh, don’t exactly remember but it was a few grands) ).
My mom just told me she would have liked for me to be a lesbian but since I don’t even like girls…
It was REALLY important for me when I was a teen and a young adult and early in transition. It’s been years since I have last packed. I now never pack even while wearing tight trousers or a swimsuit, people just don’t care.
When it became too much of a hassle to go into the women’s. It took me longer to go into the men’s room if my parents were present nearby. It just felt weird. And it was awkward the first time I went to the men’s room with my dad, though he didn’t care at all.
I would say yes.
I think so. It is a lot harder for me to cry now, I just get choked up instead. And I also think I care less about the emotions of other people than before but don’t know if it’s just growing up stuff. When angry I am more prone to have the desire to punch into something, though it has lessened with time. And when I am due for my shot, I get irritated by the slightest thing and I’m quick to anger.
It’s hard to say because when I was a teen, I didn’t see sexism, and since I transitionned young, I spend my young adult years first in a “is-it-a-boy-or-a-girl??” state then as a young man. I do not get hit on anymore by random guys in the streets though, sadly, even though I’m cuter now than I was as a woman.
Yeah my voice dropped to a masculine range with the testosterone injections. It’s not barry white deep but it also doesn’t sound effeminate.
Testosterone took care of that, then with the ovaries removed it was a sure thing.
Oh yeah, and as a follow up:
What do you think of potrayal of trangenders in the media as a whole?
Friend of mine went MtF; I don’t know anyone who went FtM.
You mention a goatee. Does facial hair arise as a result of the hormone treatments?
What hassles have you had/do you have/will you have in relation to ID, passports, etc? What do you put in that little box that usually asks ‘M or F’?
Yes, all the secondary sex characteristics do. Facial hair, body hair, redistribution of fat (I lost my hips), change of face shape…strength, wider shoulders…
ID? I’m a British and New Zealand citizen. I needed a doctor’s note saying I’d undergone irreversible treatment to get my UK passport switched to male. NZ? I need surgery first. I don’t know how it is in the US, sorry…but I suspect it’s the full surgery.
I never saw a whole episode of the L Word. From what I’ve seen the max character seems fake. I identified a bit with him when he went on dating guy/s because there is a serious lack of gay ftm visibility in the media.
In france I would say it’s only since this year that trans folks are beginning to be better representated in the media, not simply as poor freaks of nature who end up all alone and who populate reality tv shows but as folks who can be happy in life, have good jobs, be young and happy and with various identities, paths of life.
I got decent facial hairs only after years of being on T grumble grumble
I can’t pull off a goatee and my mustache is not dense. I do have a hell lot of hairs on the neck and along the jaws.
I usually don’t shave, just trim it all close when it begins to itch too much.
And sadly my fat hasn’t left my hips and ass.
In france to change your sex on your birth certificate, and hence on your id card, you need to hire a laywer and go in front of a judge. It takes about a year for the process and they can always say no. I changed my name at the same time but you can also just change your name though it really varies by region if they will accept it and under which conditions (just taking hormones or also having had top surgery and maybe an hysto).
I had to produce attestations from my psychiatrist, my surgeons and my endocrinologist, and also attestations from a handful of folks telling how I live as a guy and am so masculine and such. ( :rolleyes: )
In some areas they do medical and psy examens on top of that but not where I was living.
I didn’t have many troubles with my papers because I was living with my parents and wasn’t working, so I only had a run on once at the post office, had to justify with a letter from my lawyer that yeah, “Girlname” is me, give me my package!
My bank didn’t want to change my sex or name/honorary on my checks before a legal sex change. My cell phone operator was a pain in the ass about it. Railroad card was a breeze. Other people have various experiences with all that.
I still havn’t changed my diplomas because they wanted me to send them the originals via the post office and there is no way in hell I was gonna do that!
Didn’t have any problems to vote when my voter card was discordant with my appearance, other people have had troubles.
I was physically/sexually abused right before getting my new id card and it was a huge pain (on top of the agression) when I went to the police station because my story was recorded as if I was a woman so it didn’t make sense, and then all along the medical follow up for the HIV prophylaxis, I had to explain myself each time why it was “girlname” on file but yeah that’s me and I know I look totally like a guy.
JohnnyMac, thank you for starting this thread! It’s very interesting and informative. And Lazz, thank you for your contributions, as well!
[ul]
[li]Do you have a pre-picture that you would feel comfortable linking to?[/li][li]Do you have a current picture that you would feel comfortable linking to?[/li][li]I’m still confused by the sexual attraction thing. For us ignorant folk, do you like boy, girls, MtF, FtM, or some or any combination thereof?[/li][/ul]
No questions here, but just a shout out. I’m a gay cissexual (non-trans, to those playing at home) guy who is pretty involved in the trans community and has dated trans men from time to time. Being the ambassador is tough work. Props for volunteering 
There have been a lot of problems in Philly with the required M or F stickers on bus and train passes. The transit authority refuses to change its policies.
Also, Lazz I had no idea you were . . . French.
With the preponderance of my known experience being with MtF transsexuals whether in real life or on line I am really interested in this thread. Even more than MtF, the FtM transsexuals seem to be invisible in our society. It never made much sense to me that FtM were so much more rare than MtF, I’ve always wondered if they simply blended in better after hormone treatments. I just don’t know.
(I said known experience because it is entirely possible that I know quite a few FtM transsexuals without being aware of them being such.)
I don’t have much to add or many questions at this point, just wanted to chime in and say that I hope the thread continues for awhile.
Both JohnnyMac and Lazz sound like you were relatively young when you made the decision and started the treatments. Did you find people were supportive of you at that age, or did people take the attitude that it was a phase or you were too young to decide permanently?
They do blend in better; most FtMs pass without question after enough hormone therapy. The official estimates do say there are far fewer FtMs, but most people I know don’t consider the official estimates to be at all accurate. Really, no one’s sure how many of us there are.
On top of this, I think a greater proportion of FtMs than MtFs can cope with staying in a masculine female role; women have more freedom of gender expression, on average, than men do, and transitioning can be very difficult, especially if you’re doing it later in life.
I was 16. I was told it was a phase, I was told I was much too young…I saw a psychiatrist for two years, then I saw another for a second opinion, and when I went to a private endocrinologist with these two referrals (which are needed, by law), he told me that people don’t decide they’re transgendered at 18, they decide in their thirties. He started playing amateur shrink with me, and wouldn’t prescribe me anything. After six months of him jerking me around, I went to my GP, who was a wonderful woman who’d been my doctor since I was five years old. She rang the endocrinologist and discussed things, then she wrote a prescription for me, herself.
Puberty is about the age most people figure it out, but for me, at least, most people weren’t supportive of it.
The idea is: bisexual implies a gender binary, and that carries over to a lot of bisexuals in practice. They like men, they like women, but FtM, MtF, genderqueer, and intersexed is something they might have issues with.
Personally, I like any combination thereof. There are certain features I’m more attracted to, and I have various “types”, but what gender someone is doesn’t come into it. For example, if I were going to sleep with someone and it wasn’t until we were in bed together that I found out she was pre-op MtF, well…that really wouldn’t matter to me. Nor would it if she were cisgendered, or he were, or…you get the picture. I’m attracted to certain people, and gender doesn’t play a role in who those people might be.
Here’s a link that explains in a bit more detail: http://www.t-vox.org/index.php?title=Pansexual
I’ll see if I have any decent pre-transition photos, but I don’t have them on hand at present.