It could be anything - like how black hair is different, what CPT is/means, how the local barber shop is part 7-11, etc.
Please don’t be offended by my use of the phrase “black culture” - it’s not my term, just the one the keeps getting used on me lately by people who assume I have lived around white folks all my life.
I’m not offended, I’m confused.
I think the best answer to this question is “seventeen.” That should give the questioner an idea of how absurd the concept is.
Trust me, me too. It’s one person at work in particular who feels she needs to school me - because I couldn’t possibly know anything about where she’s coming from as a black woman.
Why are you making an issue of skin color instead of ignoring it?
Do you find those most tolerant and accepting of you are mostly middle class folk and those who are the most ignorant and racist to be among the class extremes, lower class trash people of both races and upper class snooty people of both races?
I ask because I live in a very mixed middle class neighborhood (our street alone is white, black, hmong, and hispanic) where the kids all play together just fine. One family is a mixed couple (black husband white wife) who have 3 sons ranging from 5 to 12. I talk to them during the summer a lot and ask them how school is going. If they do have problems with other kids at school it seems to come from black little ganster types who hassle them or white snobby kids from the wealthier side of town.
What is your background re: ‘black culture,’ melody?
What do you think causes the most cultural clash between you and your wife’s families (and even you and your wife); race or the urban north/ rural southern thing?
Do you think your mom would’ve minded so much if you’d married a black woman from New York?
I’ve just always been in among a pretty diverse group of friends and family. As I like to say, “my family were lovers not fighters.” So it’s not uncommon for social situations to involve several different languages to be spoken simulataneously. Growing up, my neighborhood consisted of Hispanics, Italians, Jews, Blacks, Germans, Brits, Dutch, Irish, French, Indians (both western and eastern), Polynesians, Chinese, Armenians, Canadians, etc. Many were 1st generation. And that’s just one street.
I grew up taking part of Kwanzaa celebrations, Purim Feasts, quinceaneras, etc.
Apart from that - I actually worked for an R&B and Hip-hop radio station for several years where I was the ‘token white chick’ - and since part of my job was about writing content, you got schooled pretty quickly on how things are and what is and is not okay to write or say when it comes to issues and activities.
I realize that most people who look at me would assume I’m just ‘polly whitebread’ and couldn’t possibly have an inkling. It’s not that I think I’m an authority - I don’t. But I was just wondering if tony ever felt that way - that people were ‘explaining’ things to him not realizing he knew more than they assumed he did.
That was me, and the question was related to the question preceding it:
IOW, I was curious as to how physical appearance with regards to white vs. black affected his relationship with her. I didn’t know if, for hypothetical example, he might have been attracted to a fairly light-skinned woman but wouldn’t have liked one with a strongly African appearance, or vice-versa. There are people who however much they love their partners are frank about physical features making or breaking the deal. In his case it was “It is neutral. I tell people I didn’t marry a black woman, I married the woman I love, she just happens to be black.”
The phrasing of your question was weird to me because it makes much more sense to ask how dark she is, if you were curious about her skin color. That’s what I assumed was what your question about, but now I think I was wrong.
“How black is she?” sounds like you’re trying to 1) quantify her African blood and/or 2) gauge how stereotypically black she appears.
Just curious: If the thread was about a white guy and his Asian girlfriend, would you think to ask “How Asian is she?” I’m assuming the OP is attracted to his wife regardless of how dark or light her skin is. She could very well have light skin, but that doesn’t preclude him finding dark skin attractive. Vice versa applies, too.
I asked the OP whether or not he’s bothered by questions like yours because I think it would bother me, if I were him. Do you see why it might read in an obnoxious way?
I’ve only ever dated black women but I’ve always been sort of amused by absurdity of questions people ask them. My favorite ever is “does the black community really enjoy Tyler Perry movies?”
I’ve never lived in a predominantly black community but I’ve lived in majority Hispanic areas and nobody ever asked me stupid questions about being white. Someday I want somebody to say, “Is it true you all like watching Mad Men and studying abroad in Spain?”
So does your wife like Tyler Perry movies? Cuz I just don’t get it . . .
Just kidding. Rock on with your bad black lady marrying self. Please tell your relatives that RR said to fucko off. Thanks.
Does your family’s feelings about your wife extend to your son?
I like to think this is what differentiates me from Other White People. My stories of living abroad are more like “when I lived in X country, I wanted to smack people upside the head.”
/hijack
Do her her black friends and acquaintances vocally express disapproval about the relationship?
I feel you Melody… its the same sometimes… reverse though… like shock when I’m with my friends at a Depeche Mode/Cure concert… no. i know who Robert Smith is… I have Japanese Whispers… i know Run DMC isn’t playing here tonite. lol
Assumptions…
Exactly! I know Tank isn’t just an army vehicle - I know who Joe is - I know the difference between zippers, micros, twists and corn rows. You don’t have to explain processing or breakage to me, I’ve written about 20 commercials about them. And yes, I actually learned the Cupid Shuffle from Cupid. Course, I suck at it - but I learned it.
Lol - in the end, it’s okay. But it can be slightly amusing/slightly annoying to have someone not listen when I tell them I know - and explain it to me all again.
