I’ve noticed something really weird about my ass. I’m not looking for medical advice, I’m just wondering if this happens with your ass too.
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OK, now that I’ve got your ass looking at this thread, why is it that we identify ourselves and others by our asses anyway? When did we start telling people to “move your ass”? Someone who is self-protective or greedy is only looking out for his own ass while trying to cover his ass. If I’m trying to convey that you answer to nobody but me, I own your ass.
Substitute any other body part and those phrases sound really weird. The only alternative that would make sense would be “head”, but they’d have very different connotations, wouldn’t they?
So serious question: does this semantic phenomenon extend across cultures? (I suspect not, since in Chinese “ni de pigu jiu shi wode yige dongxi” would sound bizarre in the extreme.) Do other English-speaking countries have the same usage? And when did it start?
However, it does extend to Polish slang and semantics. We have the equivalent of “move your ass”, and most other common English slang for “ass” that’s used to identify with an individual (no need to list them all here)
“Move your ass” might well refer to running compared to walking; your ass does move more or at least seem to. “Cover your ass” might refer to a spanking. Covering your ass would be protection from that.
In Russian slang, which is as rich and visceral as English slang, if not more so, a phrase for “hurry up!” translates as “move your tomatoes!” I doubt that vegetables are being referred to. I’m assuming they’re saying “move your balls!” When you think about it, that substitution would work in most of the OP’s examples - "“just covering my balls”, “I own your balls”, “I’ll kick your balls”, but maybe not “I’ll toss your balls out in the snow.”