Cocks and asses: do you get flustered when using words that have a secondary profane meaning?

In My Humble Opinion
1

A few days ago I was tutoring a little girl using her notebook from school. She had started a list of farm animals and needed to come up with their plurals. I was working down the list, trying to explain why the plural of moose was moose, but the plural of goose was geese, and turned the page to see:

http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL1473/5747827/15966180/405845373.jpg

For those not wanting to click, the next page in the child’s notebook shows items 6 and 7 on the list are:

Now I realize that for some, this is purely a personal hangup that we just have to deal with. But as an American, I almost never hear these words in anything other than a profane or sexual context. So it was a bit of a shock turning the page and seeing them right there. The close proximity of the two words made the situation even more awkward.

Now I realize that, perhaps owing to American isolationism, British English dominates in Thailand and perhaps most developing countries. It may be perfectly okay to have a discussion about cocks and asses when all of the participants have grown up using these words in non-profane and nonsexual contexts. But it was amazing to me that the child’s English teacher (who is Thai, but surely has a good grasp of English that was probably learned in a native English speaking country) didn’t provide these words to the child along with a caution flag, and supply the alternate American words.

I suppose a parallel situation might be if a British person had to give a lecture about fanny packs to a room filled with american businessmen.

So what did I do? Of course I had to suck it up (har!) and entertain a short discussion about cocks and asses. I also provided the American alternates, as the child may some day encounter Americans and might benefit from this bit of information.

If she were an older student, I might try to explain the awkwardness of the situation and provide the alternate, more Americanized versions of donkey* and rooster.

I realize that donkey is technically a subset of the ass classification and therefore imprecise, but in my experience that is what most Americans prefer to use.

2
  1. ass
  2. cock
    8. tits
3

I don’t get flustered, stymied, or any other thing (though depending on context it may be prime for a few really lame jokes).

However, in a capacity acting as a language instructor, I do think it’s at the very least responsible to note to the student that in certain contexts and cultures the words may not be appropriate.

4

The problem appears to be that, to you, the meaning that you call “secondary” in the title is actually the primary one.

I wouldn’t be able to talk about food in Spanish if I was going to get flustered every time a word with a dirty meaning came up; some are shared with English but not all: eat, omelette, egg(s), sausage, meat, fish, bun, rabbit, cow, bull, colt, mare…

5
  1. boobies
6

  1. ass

  2. cock

  3. tits

  4. boobies

  5. pussy

7
  1. ass
  2. cock
  3. tits
  4. boobies
  5. pussy
  6. root

I will never forgive my 5th grade teacher for trying to make me read the word ‘root’ out loud in front of the class. I must have had a dirty mind, because all I could think was root = fuck. There was no way I could bring myself to say it. I stood there and acted like I had brain damage.

  • I said rot.
  • She said no, try again.
  • I said route (to rhyme with spout).
  • She said no, try and sound it out.
  • I said rrrrrr-o-teeee…wrote?
  • She said ‘Snerky! What’s wrong with you?! It’s root. Root!’

And that is when I got the uncontrolable giggles and was sent to sit in the corner for a 10 minute time out.

How on earth could a teacher not know root is slang for fuck? I’m sure she was messing with me.

8

I never knew root was slang for fuck. First time I’ve ever heard of it.

9

Huh? Are you saying that in Spain, “cow” is some kind of sexual euphemism?

10

In Dutch “Cock” is an old-fashioned first name. I work with a guy called Cock, which can be awkward to explain to non-Dutch speakers. Years ago I had to text his name on an old Nokia phone, and I wondered if my dictionary would know the word. Imagine my surprise when I punched in the numbers, and the first option my innocent phone gave was “anal”, the second being “cock”.

So I might feel a little flustered when I have to say his name, but mainly because it’s awkward and distracts from what I am saying.

I am also reminded of the time my grandpa looked out of the window while we were having lunch and remarked: “Oh look, the tits are on the fat balls”. Clearly he wasn’t flustered in the slightest, but I had to silently scream with laughter and subtly wipe away my tears with a napkin.

11

I don’t know about the OP, but I enjoy watching The Bank Dick.

12

I was at a bird show (Like a dog show, but with birds) years ago. I couldn’t help laugh at two men I overheard discussing the enormous size of a particular cock. “Did you see Maury’s cock? It’s huge!”

13

As a British British-English speaker, ass isn’t really used for either meaning. One is arse, the other is donkey. And a cock is normally a penis.

Cocker, commonly used around these parts like “pal”. And couldn’t, which pronounced in the way c ommon here sounds very much like cunt.

You Dutch and your names. I’m still amused by Tiny Kocks.

14

There is a poem in a lot of children’s nursery rhyme books, I Love Little Pussy. I couldn’t bring myself to say that to my kids, and substituted “kitty.”

Similarly, I changed “Go down, dogs! Go down!” in Go Dog Go to “Get down.”

15

bitch = female dog

16

It’s very Australian, I believe. Not a thing in America.

17

Also known as a dam, as in sire and dam.

18

When you load a Civil War era musket you pull back the cock and put a cap on the nipple.

Most folks these days will call the cock a hammer and the nipple a cone just to avoid those terms.

19

As in the old mathematician’s chat-up line which goes: * b 4i √u (ru/16) q t p*

20

I have a sudden craving for an ice cream cone. Don’t know why.