Recently my roomate and I got into it. My roomate just happens to be a female and I just happen to live in North Carolina(a backwards state). Here’s what happened, well at least the short version. I called her the “C” word because she believes her life and the things she needs to do in order to make her life work is more important than mine. She got home and I was on the internet so she demanded that i let her use the phone. I called her the word(which I’m not too proud of, there are many different words I could have and should have used). She charged at me so i grabbed her by her by the arms of her shirt to be kept from getting hit. In North Carolina this is considered Assault on a female. Shouldn’t I have the right to protect myself no matter what gender. I didn’t hit her and I would never hit a female. My question is, is this sexist?
Let me get this straight, a run of the mill conflict over which housemate has access to the phone, the kind of conflict that any adult has to face a million times in his or her life, ends up in a physical confrontation and you want us to reassure you that you are not sexist? My guess is you have a wide range of emotional problems.
First, you regret using the C word, I can relate, everyone has said something hurtful that they wish they could unsay, but you just wish you had used a different hurtful word. You must have seen adults interact before (maybe on television, or in the park, look around), is that how they handle such situations? Your response seemed a little hot headed. I have created a small dialogue based on what I imagine living with you is like.
ME: “Would you pass the salt?”
YOU: “Go to hell you jackass, I hope you get cancer!”
ME: “What?”
YOU: “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said I hope you get cancer, I should have said I hope your mother gets cancer, sorry”
Maybe next time you should try not calling her any name. As for NC being a backward state, I’d love to know what state you come from (besides the state of arrested development).
This was fun, I’m sure I’ll hear from you soon.
I think the question should be, “Should I get a new roommate?” BTW, assault is a charge that carries no gender bias. Even in the great state of North Carolina.
…send lawyers, guns, and money…
Warren ZevonIf the question were, “Is this assault under North Carolina law?” this would be a General Question. As posed, it’s a Great Debate.
Livin’ on Tums, vitamin E and Rogaine
siva wrote:
Well, consider this:
In every State, shooting somebody is considered assault with a deadly weapon.
However, if the person you shot was performing some action that a reasonable person would consider an immediate threat to his life or limb (e.g. the person is charging at him with a knife, or is an intruder in his own home), your shooting the person would be “self defense” and would be exempt from qualifying as assault with a deadly weapon.
The same type of “self defense” legal defense would apply here.
The truth, as always, is more complicated than that.
Anyone can be charged with anything.
Tell us how it gets taken care of when the charges reach court, when both sides are heard, and a ruliing is announced, and I will be more than happy to offer my speculation into the matter.
All I know is that while I live in North Carolina, and I do wish I could be elsewhere, I do not see how what you wrote is inclusive to this state alone as a possible interpretation of what happened, eespecially since the other side of the story is not present.
Either way, I’m glad I don’t have EITHER of you as roomates.
Yer pal,
Satan
I’m sorry, Satan, I should have said I hope your mother gets cancer. 
As long as the front door opens, yes I would consider it sexist. I would walk out the door before I let myself get angry enough to put my hands on another person. Seems that there is more to this story. Did you leave bruises for instance?
As far as North Carolina being backwards, there are 49 other states you can choose to live in unless of course you are in prison.
“Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda
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Self-Righteous Clique *
My friends it is ok, for you are not the one that is sexist SHE is, if the bitch new what was good for her she would have A).Waited till you were done ,while keeping her fucking mouth shut. b).offered you an oral favor in exchange for use of the phone or c).clean up the place and make dinner, she should be glad you went so easy on her for something that would normally diserve a slap in the face or a kick in the stomach, good anger managment on this one bro.
I don’t flame people. I really don’t. But I seriously considered flaming the oh-so-eloquent Mr. Simpson. Then I thought twice about it. I realized he’s just another shit-for-brains yak felcher, with a bad sense of humor. So I decided not to say anything.
Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to.
In any state of the USA you are allowed an equal resistance force equivalent to what force is being forced upon you. After that, no.
Assault is the threat to do battery.
Battery is any unwanted touching.
What Cristi said.
Thanks for all the replies. I assumed myself that I have a right to protect myself no matter who is attacking me. I didn’t grab her by any part of her body just by her shirt. She claims while in her struggle to get free i caused welts on her arms. I must insist they were unintentional–i don’t beat up on women. Many of my friends and colleagues have told me that she has a case, but whether the judge agrees with her actions or my actions is a question.
stick a wet finger in the wind
siva, go see the cops. Ask for a copy of the police report. It should cost about 10 cents per page. Although they used to charge $15 here.
Look at the report. If you feel that some of it isn’t what you think happened, ask for a ‘witness statement’ form. Complete that, give it to the cops. They have to add it to the original report.
Try to settle with the woman out of court. Find a mediation center in your city, if they have one. If you can’t find it, call the mayor’s office, they should know.
this is in response to HANDY.
My lawyer is an ex-judge, and is very well known and respected in the County court system. He told me I have nothing to worry about, given the circumstances.
she withdrew charges. now i think she is trying to be my friend
Run! Run like Hell.
Be polite, smile, walk slowly away, and then RUN LIKE HELL. She pressed charges once, she’ll do it again for something else if you give her the chance.
I’m sure you already plan on running, but I thought I’d reinforce the impulse!
Ditto what Yosemitebabe said. And I’d add to first back away slowly.
SIVA!!!
LEAVE THE BITCH!!!
GET A NEW ROOMIE!!
ohh man she removed herself two days after the incident. She felt as though her life was endangered, because I grabbed her by the arms of her shirt while she tried to claw me.