At least I have a hobby outside of the masturbation world, you stupid pussbag

The BBQ Pit
21

Mmmmm, I love fresh bread. I’ve had to go to using a machine, as a shoulder injury prevents me from doing intensive kneading.

I guess in some ways it’s just economics, as you can count the cost of anything in either time or money. Cheap labor or mechanical labor means you can make a million crappy things for the cost of one good thing. Still, I’d much rather have jam made with honey instead of white sugar, and I just can’t find a commercial brand of honey jam anywhere. I wonder how much longer it will be until nobody in America knows how to make a cake from scratch. Let alone how to fletch an arrow or kill a chicken. <sigh> Hell in a handbasket, that’s where we’re going. A nasty plastic machine-made handbasket at that.

22

dogsbody,

Yeah, me too! People look at you like you’ve just completed three hours of delicate brain surgery /awed voice/ "Wow, you made your own bread /a.v/
Me/sarcastic voice/: Yeah, and I know all the secrets of the universe too./sv

23

As long as home-baked cakes continue to taste perfect even if you ruin them, and store-bought mixes continue to taste like collagenized heavy fluff even if they turn out according to plan, that’s how long.

24

*Originally posted by LazarusLong42 *
**

Stap my vitals, you prejudiced butthole. Engineers’ reputation for a “holier-than-thou” attitude stems from our efforts to explain to non-technical people (especially managers) why you can’t build a pollution-free, comfortable, fast car that uses dirt for fuel, retails for $1,000, and won’t hurt you if you drive it off a cliff. Some people take such admonitions as affronts to their intellects.

25

Oh, yes, I’m not denying that; managers generally have no resemblance, intellectually, to human beings. They are more akin to slugs. But, frex, chemical engineers will take that attitude with chemists, who (1) understand as well as they do the idiocy of managers, and (2) discover the reactions that make chemical engineers useful.

As to such an attitude being a “reputation,” nope, I witnessed the ass end of it, first-hand. Then got to thumb my nose at the lot of them when their top engineering student sat with his chemistry brethren at graduation.

LL

26

hey xtal, buy a kitchenaid and throw that stinky ol bread machine away! mine even kneads pasta dough (which i stretch by hand, not with a pasta machine, i will now stop breakin my arm by pattin myself on the back). oh yeah, this is the pit, i forgot.

GODDAMN SHITFUCK ASSPUSSY DICKHEAD FUCKFACE TURDBALL FELCH!

27

I knew somebody that does wild life portraits in embrodery. I have hand embrodered pillow cases that are worn out, but my great garandma gave them to me. I used to be crafty, but don’t have the dexterity to do it anymore. Glad you can make something original and artistic.

28

You should see what happens when I bring a cheesecake to gatherings. Jaws drop and people speak in awed whispers. God Damn It, cheesecake is the easiest fucking dessert there is! 3 boxes cream cheese. Mix in 1 cup sugar. Mix in 3 eggs. Pour in graham cracker crust. Bake 1 hour. Finito!

And these bakeries charge $20.00 for the same thing! I don’t get it. You can make a whole fucking cheesecake for what a restaurant or bakery charges for one tiny slice!

Idiots.

29

I am a guitarist and a gentleman I play with frequently, who in terms of speed and dexterity I would place squarely in the ranks of Clapton, Hendrix et. al, does needlepoint both because it helps keep his fingers nimble and limber when he’s not playing, but also because it helps him relax without “herbal” supplements, if you know what I mean.

The rest of us who play with him are way too in awe to say anything to him about it !

30

My dad’s wife makes all their bread by hand. She also grinds their flour. They buy big 5 gallon buckets of grain and grind it all themselves.

Anyway, I sew (I use a machine, I’m not that patient) and I design the clothes I sew (I’ve used a pattern a few times, but I find them confusing. I’ve never taken a class.) and when I mention this to people, they generally act like it’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever heard of. Like I was making my own air or something.

31

I just learned to crochet a few months ago. I enjoy the hell out of it, and I’ve gotten some very nice compliments on the things I’ve made.

What bugs me sometimes, though, is the occasional raised eyebrow I’ve gotten from a few wankers who look at me like “oh you’re just now figuring that out? I’d crocheted an afghan the size of Australia by the time I was 7.”

I wish I had time to explain to these people how a) some people are just not born crafty, b) how I wasn’t motivated to take up a craft until after my anti-depressants kicked in, and c) Hi Opal!

Should have seen the look on my mom’s face when I presented my sister with a crocheted baby blanket for my five-week-old niece. My mom is ultra-crafty (you know those people). She was SO proud of me. She’s the one that gave me some hooks and yarn to get me started, and coached me while I was trying to learn how to get past that first foundation chain. My mom was almost as proud of that baby blanket as I was. Ah, well. At least my mom loves me. :smiley:

32

[hijack] essvee, although profanity in the pit is acceptable, try to remember that it is an option, not a requirement. This is the second time I have seen an otherwise decent thread ruined by your potty mouth.

I’m impressed by your command of the language and I’m sure others here share my feelings. Could I make a constructive suggestion? Either get laid or buy a book on the finer points of masturbation and try to channel your energy in a more positive direction.

If you choose to go the former route, may I further suggest that you throughly explore all methods of birth control available so as not to reproduce? [/hijack]

Hermit

33

I have a Mennonite mother, and I’m ashamed of myself for not taking full advantage of all the skills she could have taught me that are pretty much dying out. I always took it for granted that we had homemade quilts, knitted everything, handmade rugs, homemade jams and pickles, fresh bread every couple of days, homemade meals and desserts, an incredible garden every year, and so many more things. She is the most capable person I’ve ever known.
I’m glad to see so many people still appreciate doing things by hand, and value the quality of their work. It’s a great feeling to know that the item you made is one of a kind, and nobody else has one just like it.

34

OK, I want to know where all you bread baking, sewing, embroidering, women have been hiding!

For Sale or Free To Good Home: One sightly used man. House broken and loyal. Is used to sleeping on the floor and has had all his shots.

35

My grandmother died when I was still a child, which is too bad because I would have loved to learn to weave from her. Will you please go to your mother right away and ask her to do the things she knows how to do?

36

Anybody remember Rosie Grier the football player? The REALLY REALLY BIG football player? HE did needlepoint! Anyone gonna tell HIM it’s wierd, or sissy, or whatever? I didn’t think so.

PS: Labdude, how old are you?

37

I was just climbing into the way back machine myself, thinking about Rosie Grier. I think people thought it was endearing of him to needlepoint since you couldn’t actually laugh at him.

38

[hijack]matt_mcl, I’ve learned quite a few things from her (knitting, sewing, crocheting, baking, gardening), but I’ve passed on some other things like canning, quilt-making, and rug-making; being raised on a Mennonite farm, she has done just about everything that you need to do on an un-mechanized farm. I’m planning on picking her brain for even more skills now that she lives in the same place as me.[/hijack]
(Actually, this might be another hijack); I’ve read about some island close to Scotland (IIRC) where the men herd the sheep and do all the knitting while they’re standing around watching sheep all day. Very efficient.

39

Count me in on someone who can do basic crochet ( pot holders, any one?) basic sewing and my favorite hobby that I can do 15 hours a day if something called life ( or SDMB)didn’t interfere, write.

Whether it is because I am such a smart ass in life or something more indefinable, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve gone to someone’s house ( prior to kids) with crochet (to keep me from falling asleep if the movie sucks or the conversation goes lame), and have gotten:
" You knit?"

“It’s crocheting, you peasant. Look a hook.If I had a knitting needle I would feel compelled to stab you with it.”

“Whatever, but you crocheting?” They say Crocheting like I’m doing brain surgery.

It’s not like I am a 6’2 roller derby truck drivin’ mama. Maybe it’s because I am the only woman on my block who can drive a stick shift and farm tractor. 'Scuse me while I scratch myself.

When I am writing ( again, prior to kids. But never whipping out a notebook at someone’s house, that would be rude) and someone I know sees me, it’s like:

“What are you doing?”

“Writing.”

“You write?”

Me, not looking up from what it is I am doing so I don’t lose my train of thought, “Yes, opposable thumbs are quite handy, aren’t they?”

Dead silence for at least 30 seconds, " What are you writing about?"

“That’s it. The character I was basing on you…”

" Yeah?!"

" I just killed off and stuffed down the garbage disposal."
(Actual conversation)

I’ve just discovered cross stitching and embroidery. I’m sure I will get crap over this too if I cave in an actually buy something to make. ( I like these things but generally just suck at them.) I think I need more estrogen.

[rant]

Along the same lines…
I hate cooking and scrapbooking.

I have little talent for cooking. I suppose if I actually took the time I could create something marginally appealing, but by the time I finish with it ( no matter what IT is) it all tastes the same. ( to me.)And that taste is of unsalty cardboard. I could live on soup, sandwiches and cereal. Hubby, God/Buddha/Whatever bless him, he never complains and fends for himself for every meal.

Scrap booking to me is a colassal waste of time because you spend two or three hours and countless money per page to put an average to nearly crap photo on display and show off on just how non-witty you really are with cutesy sayings or long winded filibusters about baby’s first boat ride.Gag me with a crowbar, the only thing worse than scrapbooking, is watching someone’s video of their vacation. I don’t get it. But if it makes you (generic, I don’t mean YOU.)happy and takes you off the streets, so be it.

But jesus christ and everyone else, get off my back when I say , " I don’t like to cook or scrap book."

I am not an affront or a behind to womanhood when I admit these things. I know they are my weaknesses and stay away from what will just crush my self esteem. OTOH, I can write and joke circles around you, and, for a bonus round, change my own oil ( if I were so incline, which I am not, thank you very much.)

[/rant]

This incohesive spot was sponsored by Ginsana.

40

I like to embroider, but I haven’t been at it for a while.
Whatever.

What I want, is to learn to sew. On a machine (I’m not that neat). I want a SEWING MACHINE! I want to make myself vintage looking outfits like the ones from Titanic and stuff.

sigh

I would’ve asked them straight out, not nasty, “Would you mind telling me what’s so funny? Would you like it if I laughed at you?”

I would NOT put up with that. If they do it again, say something.