I live at home currently with my mother and younger brother. Younger brother and I are close–we get along well a lot of the time and I really, genuinely like him as well as love him–but sometimes he will not only get on my very last nerve, he will stomp on it and break it to pieces and then kick the pieces around.
Case in point:
Younger brother wears a retainer to straighten out his teeth. He doesn’t own a case for it and he can’t wear it when he eats, so he takes it out and puts it on the nearest surface.
And then wanders away and forgets all about it.
I’ve always come across it sitting on top of the kitchen table or coffee table in the living room, and wrapped it up in a tissue and given it back to him, and asked him please, please, please not to do that again because I find it really gross and I’d rather he took it with him when he left.
I’ve asked politely. I’ve cajoled, I’ve joked, I’ve explained myself over and over, I’ve threatened to dump it in the garbage. And he just keeps on doing it.
I’m really at the end of my rope and preparing to tie a noose this time–any suggestions?
I had one for ages and you can definitely wear them while eating. It’s not fabulous, and you’ll want to rinse it in the bathroom later, but you can certainly do it.
Really, does he plan to spend the next year or so of his life never eating out?
While I do agree that what your brother is doing is gross (I went through the same with my little brother), I would not do this recommendation.
Hiding the retainer for days could cause pain for your brother. The teeth slowly shift back without the retainer and even just a day or two without the retainer could really make it hurt for him when he tries to put it back in. I’ve had around 6 different retainers myself, so I’ve gone through the head-splitting pain of having my teeth getting used to it again. It’s not funny, it’s just mean.
Sorry I can’t help you with this. What does your mom think about it?
You might get through to him if you sort of sat it in the toilet bowl. Just make sure that it’s a reasonably clean toilet bowl (freshly scrubbed and disinfected, with clean, fresh water in it)…just make sure no one uses it or flushes before he finds it.
That’ll break 'im of THAT little habit!
I’m sure he’ll keep an eye on it really well from then on.
Edit: Oh, come on, he can bleach it and it’ll be fiiiiiiine!
Bro’s ARE gross. When I was 9 and he was 12, I started asking him to stop drinking straight from the milk carton and use a glass or mug instead.
I asked jokingly. I asked nicely, en then sincerely. I cajoled, I got angry, I made scenes. He kept putting the damn carton to his slimey mouth, knowing full well what I thought about it.
I had to conclude he just doesn’t give a damn about me and what I want.
In the end, I just had to stop myself thinking about his spit on the milk-carton, the same way one blocks out thoughts about everyone who used the hotelbed, seat or toiletseat before you did.
On preview; maybe you could gross HIM out using, say, used sanitary napkins left in unexpected places? Damn, I wished I thought about that sooner…
I had retainers as a kid, and I was constantly stuffing mine inside a napkin and then forgetting about it. There were multiple incidents where I had to dig through the garbage to find the napkin I stuffed my retainer in. I never did learn to keep track of my retainer, but I was motivated to change because I knew it would hurt to put it back in if it remained lost for too long.
If I were you, I might be tempted to steal his retainer to see if that makes him care about where he puts it. But if he doesn’t care about the pain, you’ll need to find something else.
Can you appeal to the financial side of it? Impress upon him how expensive his braces were and how much replacement retainers would cost. Tell him that if he doesn’t keep track of his retainer and loses it, then all the money that went into his braces was wasted, not to mention the time it took and discomfort it caused. Should his retainers get lost (and not just “lost” wink wink nudge nudge), have Mom agree that he should pay for a replacement.
If that doesn’t work, you may have to just get used to it, or move out.
Buy a cheap ashtray and place it in an out of the way spot, so you won’t be walking past it constantly, but it’s not hidden either. Grab kitchen tongs or an antiseptic wipe and drop the offending retainer in it each time. If he asks why an ashtray, tell him you thought it was a good spot for something unsanitary and no one’s going to mistake that for a candy dish or anything so they won’t be exposed to his germs either. He can go retrieve it when his hurting teeth remind him that he’s missing something, and you won’t have to look at it constantly, plus there’s no danger of it being thrown out.
Dude, I just about died laughing. Yeah, I’m sure he’d be really brokenhearted to consider all the money his parents wasted on braces. Just crying into his pillow.
Uh, I’m assuming this is a teenager who didn’t pay for his own braces, on second thought. If it isn’t, disregard.
I live at home with my spouse, kids, and mother in law. I genuinely like my mother in law and I even love her but sometimes she not only gets on my last nerver, she threatens to pull it out and play upon it as though it were a harp.
Here is how you deal with the leaving objects about thing which I agree can become the equivalent of water torture:
Choose a place for the thing. Anywhere you like. Then put it in that place every time you see it. Do not actually take it out of his mouth, but if he leaves it for more than four seconds, put it there, even if he is sitting there.
When he is looking for it, say calmly, “it’s in the shoebox of course, like it always is”. (or wherever) After a while you can simply point to the shoebox. A little later it gets so that he can just enter the room looking around and all you will have to do is to look at the shoebox. Then it becomes automatic: he always looks in the shoebox. Around that time, he will start putting it in the shoebox and so will everyone else.
Seriously. For your sanity, try this. It really does work.
You just want him to remember how to properly store it, which is a lot harder than getting rid of it or him.
I have one suggestion, but it’s extremely obscene and I cant recommend it in good faith. Anyway, each time he forgets it, stick it up your cooch, take it out again, and tell him you did. This will force him to boil it in hot water for a loooong time and even then he will probably be freaked out. Do this every time you find it left somewhere strange, and I bet he’ll remember damn well after a few times.
Damn, I wished I thought about that sooner…