Victor Salva, I know you’re not a bright man. Anyone who videotapes a twelve-year-old boy sucking his schlong has got some serious decision-making impairments.
But you served your 15 months and have been a model citizen ever since. The studio system was so impressed with your screenplay POWDER than Disney hired you to direct it, as well. Of course, Disney wasn’t aware of your past…unpleasantness. Not right away, anyway. They found out midway through production, but you just had a certain charm about you. They couldn’t fire you. They figured there might be some flack, but, hey, if Jeff Goldblum and Mary Steenburgen only appeared on Disney-owned ABC morning shows, they’d make sure no hardball questions would be asked.
Victor, you say you’ve changed. Great. I’ll accept that. But you know what? I’ve seen your victim in interviews. And he hasn’t changed. You can write treacly shit about messiah-like, misunderstood freaks all you want, but face it, you’re a monster and a pedophile. If there was a kernal of justice in this world, you’d be dead. If there was half a kernal, you’d be helming the dishwasher during a Denny’s graveyard shift.
But it seems you landed on your feet. No, not with Disney anymore. Even better. Now you’ve just made a movie for Francis Ford Coppola’s production company. JEEPERS CREEPERS it’s called. I’ll make sure to tell all my friends to rent it, since I know you want to put that swimming pool in.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Hollywood, I expected a little more class from you.
