He forgot to say the asker has superpowers that allowed him to scan the city and everyone’s mind and find the right mark. Was it ethical that he then casually ask the mark out? Would it be rude to leave the coffee date just for a few moments to break up a crime in progress across town?
If I found her reasonably attractive, then sure.
And right after that hell would freeze over, a comet would hit the earth, and the aliens would land. All slightly more probable than the scenario in the OP for me.
Yep. My answer upthread was deeply, profoundly hypothetical.
Will this help?
:: shoots Spiderman: in the webshooters ::
Honestly, I don’t know anyone who really ended up dating someone who was “friends” or from an extended circle of friends. I guess in my experience those people end up “friend zoned” and if anyone has to work too hard to move from friends to lovers, it’s doomed. It’s like you’re trying to “wear down” someone who doesn’t find you attractive. Because if they did, they wouldn’t need to get to know you to know whether they might want to date you. People get to know people… by dating them. Then you introduce to friends, and still often remain fairly isolated as a romantic relationship.
Might be cultural, geographical, I don’t know.
My reaction would be to look for a camera crew. I’ve never been picked up by a woman in public, only online or at work ages ago.
In a legit hypothetical I would. I’m legally married, but I would feel alright deciding what boundaries to cross and making an informed decision at each step.
I think it’d depend on why she asked me out. If it’s just because she thought I was cute, probably not. This is partly because I’m not interested in a romantic partner who makes decisions based exclusively on physical attractiveness, and partly because I know that I’m not all that, and it would have me suspecting that there was some sort of funny-business going on.
On the other hand, if it were based on nearly anything else? Say, her reading and laughing at one of the buttons I wear on my hat, or seeing the books I have with me at the coffee shop? Yeah, I’ll go along, and see where it leads.
All of my successful relationships have been with people I knew as casual friends for at least a few months; the only times I have only been on one or two dates with someone was when it was as described in the OP: seen a few times in passing, asked out, dinner/movie, crickets chirp. Roll credits.
Complete opposite here: the only successful relationships I’ve had were with women that I knew nothing about, prior to dating them. The last woman who asked me out, I married; despite that ending poorly for me, I’d take a chance on that again.
Contacted a matchmaker, evaluated potential husband candidates and choose one.
ZPG zealot did not say that she refused to date, just that she used that as an answer to the random person who asked her out. Women who get hit on in public places are not obligated to give random strangers a complete 100% accounting of their life and preferences.
It happened to me once in my life. A leggy, buxom blonde. She picked me up outside of a grocery store, offereing me a ride home. We banged each other senseless e-v-e-r-y Sunday afternoon while watching the 1985-86 Chicago Bears Super Bowl season. I even banged her and her volapcious curvey brunette roommate on Monday night, December 2, 1985, when the Bears had their only loss of the season to the Miami Dolphins (38-24). After the Super Bowl game, I never saw her again. She was like that, a nomadic sort. It was almost a perfect season for the Bears that year, but for me, the memories will last … A Lifetime!
After 22 years of marriage, old Lefty here found himself separated and divorced at age 49. This was a little over two years ago. Wasn’t even considering diving back into the dating world when I walked to the post office near my office one day during lunch. Saw a really attractive 40-something woman standing outside with her dog. Being a sucker for a dog, and since I had to walk right past her, I stopped and asked if he (the dog) was friendly, she said yes, I gave pooch a little head rub, smiled at the owner, and went in the post office.
5 minutes later I came out she was still there, and she walked over to me. Basically she said something like " I never have the courage to say hi to a guy in this type of circumstance, but today I’m stepping out of my comfort zone. Hi!"
We walked across the street to Starbucks and chatted. She was/is adorable, and she saw something in me she liked. We dated kind of exclusively for almost a year until her work moved her two timezones away. We still see other about every other month. I fly To Denver for a long weekend, or she flies here.
It will likely fade over time. We both kind of know a long distance thing isn’t really sustainable at this point in our lives.
Still, so very glad she said hi that day. If not, we would have both missed out on something.
Well the OP event has never happened to me in 4 decades of being out in the world (I have got at least one “how you doin’” in the SDMB), but I know and have been around people to whom it has happened, it’s not an alien phenomenon. So given the givens in the OP…
…pretty much describes it for me 
::moves wrist just the right way::
(Hey, I learned a thing or two while I was dating Wonder Woman, who just happened to pick me up in the parking lot of a grocery store).
:: used good webshooter to attach to & pull over the pot of boiling oil on the roof of the building that Skald is walking by, resulting in a scalding Skald. :dubious:
As mentioned upthread, this isn’t (or doesn’t have to be) an invite to some stranger’s place for sex. If you’re interested, go for coffee or lunch and get to know the person.
I would, and have gone out with someone I met out and about (my friends say Starbucks is my singles bar), but I wouldn’t go home with someone under the same circumstances, no matter how attractive. The human libido is a compass needle that points to Big Trouble, so I try not to make it my sole source of navigation. There’s plenty of fun to be had at the other compass points.
Don’t know any asexual or celibate people I take it? Some people, myself included, just don’t date. I wouldn’t be rude about it, but I would say no.
If I were single and available, and the woman seemed like someone I wouldn’t mind spending a half-hour with, I’d say sure.
Back when I was single, I did have a couple of dates that resulted from my asking a woman out during a casual encounter. One I remember, it was in mid-December, and wherever we were shopping, the cashier lines were moving kinda slow, so by the time she was next in line, we’d been talking for 15-20 minutes and getting along quite well, so when I asked her for her number, she gave it to me.
If someone knows literally nothing about you, do you really believe they like you based on common interests / values / life goals / ambitions? That they like your personality even though they have no idea what your personality IS?
Or do you think they “like” you because they wanna get them some of that?
And if you had people wanting to get them some of that every single time you went out in public, do you think you might get tired of it and develop higher standards as a consequence?
Or you know, you could re-read my post and discover the very minimal effort it would take to break the ice. (Seriously, if someone doesn’t think I’m worth even minimal effort, why exactly do I want to spend time and effort, however minimal, of my own?)
Unless things have changed greatly since my single and available days, I would likely be absolutely clueless that someone was hitting on me and would go blissfully about my business.
::Sigh:: It’s a wonder I ever got married.
I’m pretty spontaneous, but safely so. If someone likely looking showed an interest, I’d be willing to spend a little time in a safe, open place getting to know them over a coffee or soda. I’m not sure that I’d go on a bona fide date immediately, but I sure wouldn’t slam the door in the face of what might be a real opportunity.