My son is 15 and is dying to get his permit. All his other friends are driving. I just don’t know… I didn’t get my liscense until I was 21! I turned out ok.
I checked with the insurance company and the rates do not go up until he becomes a liscensed driver (that is a year after he has had his permit)
My car is a 2003 and I don’t want a stupid move to crash my car.
Should I let him get it or not?
Currently I am holding out on him with the excuse he hasn’t been doing his chores properly and that takes responsibility. So does driving. My 17 year old says I should get the permit and hold that over his head if he is not doing his chores. He thinks I will get more leverage that way.
Well I got my permit at 15 but my parents couldn’t wait for me to be able to drive as it allowed me to take on even more responsibility about the house (chauffer for my younger brother and errand girl)
You have a 17 year old… What were the rules with that child? Seems you’ve been through this once and need to keep things consistent between them. I do understand driving is a privilege and if chores are not done driving priveleges should be withheld but this should be consistent with both kids.
I actually have a 22 year old and didn’t let her get her license until she was 18 and could afford her own insurance.
The 17 year old doesn’t drive yet. He got caught joyriding in my car at night by the police and was arrested. He has some heavy sanctions to complete before he can even THINK about getting a permit. After he does his sanctions his permit will be suspended for 6 months. So it will be a long time before this one will be driving.
It is highly advisable to get one’s permit (and license eventually) at the earliest opportunity. Even if you are not going to be driving a car for another year or three, you still want to do this. The longer you have had your license without accruing any accidents, the better your driving record looks.
If you decide to let him take the test, talk with him about what exactly you expect/want and when he would be allowed to drive (with you in the car, of course), etc. I’d also make it clear that he’s dead meat if he tries to pull what his big brother did. (Man, my parents woulda killed me!)
Remind him that driving is a privilege, and one that he needs to earn and handle carefully.
I think making him wait for the permit doesn’t really help anyone. Accident rates among young drivers are highly correlated to their experience behind the wheel. Not much will be gained by delaying a year or more, because his experience level will still be nil. I suppose maturity on his part is the guiding factor. I was lucky, my parents let me drive (with them in the car/truck) around the neighborhood, years before I could legally get a permit. The benefit was that by age 15, I was already comfortable with driving, and my safety behind the wheel was a non-issue. Regardless of where your son is on that, he wont be a better driver by waiting.
As long as he knows the responsibilities that come with the privilege, and knows you will discipline him for disobeying your rules, then it probably isnt a problem. I suppose it all comes back to your estimation of his ability to handle it.
When I first moved to the States from Britain, it scared the hell out of me that people in my grade were getting their drivers’ licenses…
In Britain (and most European countries), apart from anything else, a certain number of hours of licensed instruction are required before drivers are allowed onto the roads…
I strongly suggest if you’re that worried that you let him have it, but make him go to a reputable driving school… it will pay dividends with many insurers down the road too.
I’d have to agree here. The longer he is able to practice driving, the better driver he will be when he is finally able to get his actual license. Also, your 17-year-old does have a point. You will be able to hold the permit over his head to get him to do chores and things around the house.
I myself got my license at the age of 16, and also had my own car soon after that. I went to school half an hour away from where I lived, and the school did not provide buses for people outside the town. I was also able to drive myself to work. A car (or, at least, the opportunity to borrow your car) might help him be more responsible.
Seriously, though, I agree with Zenster and mullets; allow the permit, if not the driving, as soon as possible. That way it wouldn’t be a social stigma or “embarrassment” (so important at that age), and could even come in handy in the case of an emergency someday.
Myself, I had a permit at 15 1/2 and full license at 16, but rarely drove because it simply wasn’t necessary. Didn’t even own a car 'til I was 22 or 23 (I forget) since I didn’t need one in college.
I would have gotten my permit right on my half birthday if I’d been able to, but a freak snowstorm delayed it for a month. I ended up getting my license exactly a month after my 16th birthday. Yeah, I think Qadgop was a little scared, but it was necessary for our family that I start driving as soon as possible. They got me a cell phone and a AAA membership, insisted I call whenever I got to where I was going, and worried quietly.
If you’re scared that he’s going to be a bad driver, please realize that you will ONLY be able to control his driving while he lives with you, and that there are much stricter rules for those under 18 - in most states, you have to have the learner’s permit for much, MUCH longer, take driver’s ed classes, spend a certain amount of time behind the wheel. If he gets his driver’s license while he’s still at home, you can teach him how to drive, see what dangerous things he does and be the one to correct them, and control when he is and isn’t allowed to drive. If you don’t let him get his license when he’s at home, all he’ll need to do to get one as an adult is hold a permit for a short amount of time and pass the test, and you’ll have absolutely no control over the development of his driving habits.
I’d say let him get the permit, learn to drive with you sitting next to him and stomping at the invisible brake pedal on the floor every time he drives any differently from how you would. But if you want to discourage him from getting his license, tell him that he has to show he’ll be able to pay for gas and insurance and chip in for any car repairs before he can take the test. (getting a job that doesn’t require driving, or having enough money saved up to pay those things for a couple of months until he gets a job) He’ll need a certain amount of responsibility to do that, they’re reasonable requests, and it’ll make him happier to KNOW what he has to do to get his license, instead of trying to find some way to badger you into it.
I got my permit as soon as I was allowed to, on my 16th birthday. My parents made sure I took lessons from a reputable place (Young Drivers of Canada), which definitely helped. I agree with dutchboy, if you’re afraid to let your son drive, I highly recommend lessons if you can afford it, because you won’t do a good job of teaching him if you’re scared. I remember some unpleasant experiences with my mother in the car when I was just starting out: she was scared and let it show, which made me nervous, which in turn made me much more likely to make mistakes, thus giving her a reason to be afraid… Repeat the cycle as needed.
I’ve only been in one accident so far, and it wasn’t even my fault - an old lady ran a stop sign and hit me. That was about a year after I got my full license. Of course, I don’t even own a car right now, since I don’t need one where I live and quite frankly couldn’t afford one even if I did.
Damn, I’m 22 and I still don’t have my permit. My boyfriend wants me to get one so he can teach me to drive, but now I’m a bit too paranoid to learn. Hell, I live in NYC; I don’t need to drive.
I am 22 and I don’t have my license or permit. I’m happy not driving, but I do wish I had gotten my license anyway, even if I don’t intend on using it. Getting my own insurance- not under my parents- without having a license already is extremely expensive. Now, I literally can’t get a license because I can’t afford insurance long enough to learn how to drive. Plus, insurance rates go down signifigantly after a few years of driving. Thats a big plus to a young person just getting out on their own. Right now I can’t afford to drive, but if I had driven in high school I wouldn’t have this problem.
But even if he has a permit, that is no reason for you to let him drive. Frankly I think a car is a huge waste of money, especially for a teenager who could be saving money for travel, college, and other life-changing experences that you can only have when you are young. He’ll have the rest of his life to slave away for to try to make things like car payments. Every single on of my friends who worked to support their car habit ran into academic trouble. School always yields to work. You can be late to school, tired, or absent without too many problems. But try showing up to work late because you have to study. Work is rigid where school is flexible, and often grades suffer.
Still, it would be nice for him to be able to drive your car every once in a while to run errands for you…and when he’s good maybe he can take it out on his own for a bit.
I got my first permit at 15, let it expire, and jusr before my 17th birthday, I got my second permit. I finally got my license at 17 1/2 years old.
Make him take driving lessons (a lot of states require them before you can get a license if you are under a certain age). The lessons are worth it, in my opinion. I just finished the in class lessons in May, and I thought those were moderately useful. The lessons in the car, I finished in June, and I felt those were very useful.
Oh yeah, my father seems to find a new driver very useful. I’ve been in charge if renting movies lately, because my father doesn’t have to go out and drive anywhere.
I think 15 is way too young for a kid to start driving. You asked our opinion so my vote is no, chores or not. He’s still a baby.
And when he does get his permit/license he should pay every penny of the cost of insurance … which will be about the price of a kidney transplant considering you’ve got a boy on your hands.
I was 20, nearly 21 when I got my license. I lived. Yes, it was a pain in the ass but probably kept me from getting hurt really bad. I come from an area where indulgent parents just handed their kids brand new cars when they turned 16, and the majority of them wrecked their car in that first year of driving. We damn near lost 2 kids before we even graduated.
