At what point do you kill Gilligan?

Great Debates
61

Hmm … At that point, it would be time for the most clever and manipulative minds to run things. I’ll take the part of Mary Ann.

  1. The first thing is to form a coalition with Ginger based on our common goal. We both want off this island, right? So, I propose we work on the two most useful (only useful?) men there with us; the doctor because of his intelligence and scientific acumen, and the skipper because he is an experienced seaman and, if we are not discovered, it is the sea we will have to deal with.

  2. It is no secret that the doctor was enamored with Ginger, so all she has to do is bat those pretty eyes at him, and she will then be able to manipulate him pretty much any way she wants. I approach the skipper with gratitude for how his magnificent abilities as a seaman got us to the beach and saved my life. I ingratiate myself to the point where, secretly, he believes that there can be an “US” if he can just find a way to get off the island. He, of course, wants more right away. However, I simply can’t be receptive to his overtures because I am without hope and depressed as long as we remain trapped on that island.

  3. So, we have succeeded in winning the affections of those two key components, and we have them working tirelessly on getting their “two girls” and themselves off the island. Meanwhile, we have the others as food sources if the need arises. The Howell’s go first because they are pretty much useless and are using up food and water. I’d save Gilligan for last because he is a good “Go-Fer” and at least has some practical use.

62

Skipper:

  1. Mary Ann is obviously trying to form alliances. Since she’s not really my type it will be easy to manipulate her while letting her think she is manipulating me. If I use my skills right, she’ll not only do what I want, she’ll think it is her idea.

  2. Ginger is trouble. Not only can’t she do anything useful as far as survival, she’ll undercut the Professor’s loyalty by batting her eyes at him. At the right time, she must meet with an unfortunate “accident”. Coconut to the head under a tree. Or, perhaps a bit of evidence that the Professor murdered her, to confuse Mary Ann.

  3. Gilligan is my little buddy. He’s like a son to me. He’s coming along. But, he can be a bit addle-brained, so he will have to be kept from the details. But he can be useful. A properly timed bit of vomiting after eating one of Mary Ann’s pies will have the others thinking she is trying to reduce our numbers.

63

I’m avoiding carbohydrates, but I’d like to taste her cream pies. I’ve had her cook book in my shopping cart for a couple of days. I’ve just placed the order. I don’t even know what else is in it, except (presumably) coconut cream pie.

64

One of my favorite conspiracy theories explains it all nicely. Gilligan sabotaged any attempts at rescue or escape from the island until the statute of limitations ran out and thus federal agent MaryAnn could not take the drug dealing Mr. Howell into custody.

65

Bunny?

I don’t know how many times I heard my old man say “why don’t tey kill him” when I’d watch the show as a kid.

Now heres Gilligan the bartender:

Gilligans comment about the professor being able to make a nuclear reactor out of coconuts but couldn’t fix the hole in the boat are hillarious.

66

The book arrived today. Shipping was more than the book (by 4¢), but it still came in under $9 from Seattle Good Will. Being used, I didn’t pay much attention to the inscription. When I did look at it, it was to ‘Anita’ and signed by Dawn Wells, 5-1-94.