The baldy-avenging she-bears, plus the story of Balaam’s talking donkey (Numbers 22:21-39).
From the NT, Jesus’s claim that some people alive then would still be alive when he came back (Matthew 16:28). That one was pretty much the clincher for me.
Well, if he’s mythical, he doesn’t exist at all… If he does exist, then by gar, we can haul him out with a hook!
It’s like the other clauses that say his hide can’t be pierced by iron. Wanna bet?
“Show me your Leviathan.”
The KJV translates the ancient Hebrew word “reym” as “unicorn”. Did the ancient Hebrews mean by this word the mythical creature that modern Americans think of when we use the word “unicorn”? No, they probably didn’t. My joke was based on the notion that our modern notion of what a unicorn is has evolved over the centuries, and when people used the word they didn’t always mean a creature that looked like: http://www.csis.pace.edu/grendel/graphic/20.gif.
The KJV translators didn’t know what “reym” meant, so they guessed. To them a unicorn wasn’t any more fantastic than an elephant or a lion. We still don’t know exactly what a “reym” was, the best modern hypothesis is “Aurochs”.
You appear to be saying that the King James Version isn’t the truest, beuatifulest, most God-breathedest and only necessary translation!
Heresy. :mad:
To those of you who mock and ridicule the Bible… Have you ever actually read it?
I don’t mean a select verse here and there that you can take out of context, but the whole Bible. How about just the new (or old) testament?
Of course I’ve read the Bible. It’s a fascinating collection of ancient writing.
Not sure where this persistent idea comes from, that if you read more of the Bible you’ll be ever more convinced of its veracity and non-ridiculousness. Frankly, the opposite was true for me.
That said, I’m curious under what context it’s possibly okay to send bears to maul children for making fun of a bald guy.
Oh, gosh, heck no.
The only part of the Bible I have ever read is 1 Corinthians 15:14:
And I was all like,“Well, no need to waste any more of my time on this book! Just a bunch of useless preaching!”
Thanks, 1 Corinthians 15:14, the Only Bible Verse I Will Ever Need to Read!
The classic response to this is to ask you these very simple questions.
Do you take the whole of the bible literally? yes or no
If “yes”, do you follow every commandment and believe every word and story is literally true?
If “no”, on what authority and by what criteria do you decide to take it literally or figuratively?
How much more do you need to read after Genesis 1:1 ?
How much more ‘context’ do you need for that statement?
If you’re talking about it as allegory - a “just so” story - then how am I supposed to determine if what comes after is any better or worse?
This goes for many of the other verses, etc - if ‘sending bears to eat children who call you bald’ actually needs more context - how will that context actually make a difference? If its allegory or “just so” story - not to be taken literally - what good does it do? How am I supposed to determine that? Why should it matter?
If “unicorn” isn’t what was meant to be used there - and we really don’t know ‘what’ they meant - what good does it do?
I mean, after all, isn’t this whole thing supposed to be “god breathed and beneficial” ? If I have to question so much of it based on a few verses - seems we need a better god. (or he needs a better editor)
And to answer your question - yep - read it, used to be a ‘true believer’ in many senses of the word.
This thread has come as a huge relief. Too seldom do atheists around here dare to ridicule [del]religion[/del] Christianity! I hope everyone now feels free to cast off the shackles.
Not that it matters, but for the record I have read the entire New Testament, and most of the Old Testament include the Pentateuch, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1 & 2 Samuel, 1 & 2 Kings, 1 & 2 Chronicles, Esther, Job, most of the Psalms, Ecclesiastes, the Song of Solomon, most of Proverbs, and then I’ll admit to getting bogged down in the prophets, but I’ve read big chunks of Ezekial, Isaiah, and others.
Having read so much of the Bible gave me excellent context for how ridiculous it is. I used to be a True Believer; I suspect it is no coincidence that, after having read so much, it was the beginning of the end of my attempt at having faith in it all.
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There is no yes or no answer to that. The Bible contains many forms of speech including, but not limited to, parables, allegories, and hyperboles (phrases that are not intended to be taken literally but used to emphasize). However, certain events such as Moses parting the sea, Noah building the ark, the great flood, Jesus being crucified and rising from the dead, and others, then yes, I absolutely do believe those literally.
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I have broken many commandments in my lifetime. As for part two of this question, refer to my answer above.
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I do not pretend to understand all if it, but I accept by faith that it is true.
I’ve read it - culturally and historically, it is of huge importance, no matter what one’s religious convictions (or lack thereof). 
There is no doubt some parts are bizarre and/or absurd. Equally, there is no doubt that some parts that appear to be so, actually make sense when one understands the cultural context - as I’ve attempted to demonstrate above.
Some parts only make sense if one looks at the thing in terms of an ever-evolving religion. My favorite example of this is the fact that Genesis contains a description of what appears to be Israelite demi-gods - which would make sense in (say) Greek religion, but not in the strict monotheism that Judaism would evolve into:
Genesis 6:4:
This sounds like the birth of any number of Greek heroes. It was, of course, later fanwanked into ‘fallen angels’. 
My experience seems to be the opposite. I’ve read much of the Bible and taken college-level courses in Biblical history… And the more I read the dumber it gets.
That coincides with my experience, as well. I read the bible through several times. The more I saw, the less I believed.
I never “believed” in any of it, in a religious sense.
I don’t find it any more or less ridiculous than any other culture’s mythology - much of which is a combo of deep psychological insights, historical snippets, nice poetic imagery, stuff which makes little sense outside of its cultural context, and yes, some stuff that is totally absurd, even taking all of the above into account.
The problem (and why I think so many are so deeply invested in trashing it) is that veneration of it has been enforced for so many; they can’t view it objectively, as literature, mythology or history.
that is a “no”
and that’s a “no” as well
And that is evading the question I asked you and contradicts your answer to my first question.
So you admit that not all of it is meant to be taken literally but that all of it is somehow “true”
That’s cleared that up then!
I have evaded and contradicted nothing. Your poorly phrased questions do not give way to one word yes/no answers. Learn to ask questions that are not double-barreled or compound if you want one word answers.
Oh, please-Could you tell us the questions you have prepared answers for?