I’m an atheist, and yets I have three of them.
Numbers 11:19-20
‘And you will eat it not for one day, or two, or five, or ten, or twenty, but for a whole month, until it comes out of your nostrils and sickens you.’
It just amuses me to imagine a big booming voice shouting this. Also, birds out of your nose. Eww.
Genesis 6:1-2
When people began being numerous on earth, and daughters had been born to them, the sons of God, looking at the women, saw how beautiful they were, and married as many of them as they chose. In those days, and even afterward, giants lived on the earth, for whenever the sons of God had intercourse with human women, they gave birth to children who became the heroes mentioned in legends of old.
I dunno, it just sounds cool. Somehow Conan-esque.
Also, when Elijah is talking to Ahab: “Have you murdered and also inherited?” It’s about the best smack-talking in the book and yet I can’t remember what section…I think Kings…
*And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron. *
As long as I’m in my car, I need not fear the wrath of the (not very) Almighty God.
As – not simply an atheist, but an anti-Yahvist – a very important passage in the Bible to me is Genesis 22, the Binding of Isaac. Because it reminds me of how right I am to hate the Lord God of Israel under whatever name he might be worshipped. Western civilization – Judaism, Christianity, and Islam – has been on the wrong path ever since the day Father Abraham chose his god over his son. Yes, Isaac was spared, but that’s not the point of the story; the point is that Abraham was willing to do it because God demanded it. Marginal annotations in the King James version describe the story as, “God tests Abraham.” Yes, and he failed that test. He should have said, “If you would demand that of me, you are not God!”
There may be a God in the universe who is worthy of honor and obedience and love, but the god of Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Mohammed is not that God.
And when he opened the fourth seal, I heard the fourth beast say, “come and see”. And I beheld a pale horse, and his rider’s name was Death and Hell followed with him. -Revelations 6:7-8
And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy My brother. And you will know My name is the LORD when I lay My vengeance upon you." - Ezekiel 25:17
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. - I don’t recall chapter and verse, but I think it’s the best thing about Christianity.
Of course Abraham failed the test. That’s why his descendents aren’t called “Abrahamites” - Instead, they’re named after his grandson Israel (AKA Jacob) who got the name by kicking an angel’s ass.
Alternately, Abraham went along with it because he was testing God. God passed.
A number of my favs have already been mentioned, particularly Matthew 6 – which formed part of a reading at my wedding (fun juggling my lack of faith with bride’s family’s firm Methodism – FIL is a minister).
Odd synchronicity and sequentiality as I was going to quote Leviticus 11:10
I like the humour of “God hates shrimp”; and it forms a nice counterpoint to the small few who would quote other parts of Leviticus in defence of their hateful intolerance.
PS: VarlosZ, apologies if my earlier post above violates your “unable to refrain from mentioning how stupid/evil they find the Bible and/or Christianity” restriction request – I don’t bear those feelings towards Christians in any general sense, just towards those that would mis-represent their own holy scripture for hateful ends.
I think you are perhaps slightly misinterpreting the story, though - or rather, missing the whole picture.
You should remember the context: child-sacrifice was in fact quite widespread in the Ancient ME where Judaism developed. The point of the story was not simply “test” Abraham, but rather to demonstrate conclusively that in this religion, child sacrifice, a very common religious ritual in the religious background from whence Judaism sprang, is not a part of the religion.
The Wiki cite references this interpretation:
And in the section “modern interpretations”:
It was, one would suggest, a “just so” story - answering the question, “why don’t we sacrifice kiddies like the neighbours?” The answer being “God used to demand that, but just as a test - he doesn’t really want kiddie sacrifice”.
It is difficult for us to appreciate nowadays, as it only makes sense in context of a culture in which child sacrifice was seen, not simply as horrific, but rather as powerful and prestigious. The lack of child sacrifice (or indeed any form of human sacrifice) in a religion was what needed explaining.
In short, you are seeing what was a big step forward for humanity (the effective end of a horrific tradition with a very long history) as a step back. Civilization was “on the path” of real child sacrifice before the time of the story of Abraham - it demonstrates the exact moment of turning aside from that path.
Nah, I don’t think anyone’s going to have a problem with that post (#56) around here – it’s a jab at people who are inconsistently literal and dogmatic in their reading of the Bible, apparently for the purpose of legitimizing their bigotry. That’s much different than saying, for example, “this passage is great because it reminds me of how stupid and evil the whole concept is.” The former isn’t going to offend anyone on the SDMB, but the latter is.
(Incidentally, I saw post #50 coming a mile away. No fooling, I wasn’t sure which Bible passage would be cited, but I knew exactly the form the first wholesale condemnation of Western religion would take, and there was a short list of Dopers who were candidates to post it. I wish I’d PM’ed the prediction to someone beforehand; I’d look like a genius.)
