Attention divorced fathers...

I have an appointment with my attorney tomorrow afternoon.

On Tuesday morning, as I was dropping Jordan off with his mother (according to our oparenting agreement, we each get first crack at childcare/babysitting duties when the other needs it), she remarked “You can pick him up tomorrow after work.”

I asked why, and she said “Today’s his birthday. We’re having a party at 5:30.” I didn’t make a fuss because I wanted to consult my attorney regarding this. I had planned to have a party with Jordan that evening (cake, singing, and gifts) following dinner. According to the Amended Settlement Agreement, he was entitled to spend from 1:30 to 6:30 p.m. with me. Since this was his annual 2-week visit, I figured TW would have him for most of the day we (Jordan and I) would make an evening of it (I don’t get back to town from work until around 5:00 p.m.)

I tried to get in to see Nancy (the paralegal who is handling my case) but she was occupied until much later than 5:00 p.m. I was advised to call TW and ask for an extra day at the end of the 2-week period to compensate for the missing day.

When I got home, I called TW’s number and got her answering machine. The message was:

[ul]"[SD] and I moved out of town, but if you’d like to leave a message, go for it! That’s cool."[/ul]
I decided that the message might just be an attempt at humor, and that I would discover if she had already moved out of town when I went to pick up Jordan the next day.

After work Wednesday, I drove to TW’s house to get Jordan. There were new toys strewn about the yard and even more visible in the house when TW answered the door. Jordan at first appeared eager to go with daddy, but then TW asked Jordan if he didn’t want to go with daddy after all. He wouldn’t answer until she pressed him, but he quietly said “No.” TW would not let Jordan go with me, and told me that she would call me when he was ready to go. It looked like Jordan wanted to stay and marvel over his new toys, so I left without making an issue of it.

Shortly before seven o’clock, TW called and told me that Jordan did not want to see his daddy. She then went on to accuse me of abusing my son, and that I should get counseling. She would not discuss letting Jordan spend any more time with me until this weekend. She then started saying even uglier things, so I hung up on her.

Thursday afternoon I went to the my attorney’s office, hoping to get a walk-in appointment with either him or the paralegal who’s working my case. The paralegal was not available, and neither was My attorney. The secretary told me that my attorney had left a message to the effect that if the Amended Settlement Agreement doesn’t specify the dates of our (Jordan and mine) 2-week visit, then I should get a signed agreement with TW’s signature under it that specifies the dates.

I made an appointment with my paralegal for Monday to discuss what possible actions I can take to ensure Jordan gets his 2-week visit with me, among other things.

When I called TW, I just got her answering machine, but no-one answered. Since our last communication ended with me hanging up on her due to her abusive language, I decided not to leave a message, but to wait until my appointment with the paralegal on Monday.

On Saturday morning I had a message on my phone. In it, you can hear TW coaching Jordan to say “Robert, come get me!” His actual words were “Come git me Bobert!”

I called her to see if we could restart the clock on our 2-week visit beginning today. Unfortunately, she does not want to comply with the Amended Settlement Agreement, nor does she want to let Jordan visit without asking him (at the door) “Do you want to go with Robert?” (When she’s in a bad mood, TW doesn’t like it when I call him “Son” or when he calls me “Daddy”).

I hope I have some legal recourse apart from just letting her do whatever the hell she wants.

Thanks for letting me gripe.

~~Baloo

Rather than TW may I suggest TFB – that fucking bitch!

I don’t like to encourage that sort of talk about the woman my son loves. However, right now I don’t feel much like discouraging it either.

Thanks, Chief!

~~Baloo

[See? No smileys!]

Something to consider…

Ask your lawyer if it’s legal in your state to tape your phone calls without telling the other person they’re being recorded. First of all, they could help determine just who is being rational. Secondly, they can help you keep your cool when TW is being confrontational.

My ex- tried that gag about calling me by my name instead of “daddy,” too. I didn’t work. My son knows me as “Dad,” and her new husband by his first name.

For the hell of it, do your best to get on the good side of any of her future love interests. Remember, he’s probably heard that you’re the devil incarnate. When he begins to see you as you really are, you may develop an ally (particularly if she tries to do something similar to him!)

Again…good luck.

According to my attorney, in NM, it’s legal as long as one party to the recorded conversation is aware it’s being recorded. As long as I’m part of the convo, it’s okay. If I put a mike in someone’s flowerpot, however…

~~Baloo

Damn, Baloo. I’m sorry your ex is such a (insert insult of your choice). And I’m sorry that your kid has to spend so much time with her. Personally, I make a point of getting my son excited to go see his dad…whatever our differences are, the boy still loves us both. I’ve never been able to understand how divorced parents could have the capacity to use the children as weapons.

Hope everything works out for the best, dear.

It’s the 17th of September. TW should’ve been in Texas for over 2 weeks, now.

Last week, however, I learned that she did not move out of state after all (SD didn’t get the job he wanted). Instead, she’s still living in the same place, but screening her calls (and not answering messages on her machine). She’s also making herself scarce on the days I would normally be picking up Jordan for visitation.

I’ve informed my attorney. I hope he shows some enthusiasm for the case (thus far, not much). This is really pissing me off. :mad: (Sorry, Chief, but what I’d really like to say is verboten, except possibly in the pit).

~~Baloo

My stepson’s mother is planning an out-of-state move again, to Florida this time.

She and my husband have an appointment at Friend of the Court tomorrow to get all the details worked out (you can do it through FOTC here). My husband is distressed by this move, but he understands it. This time, according to her, anyway (she does have a tendency to lie, but that’s another thread), it really is in the kids’ best interest. She’s got a great job lined up. She is currently living on welfare. She’s also got two other children (not my husband’s). If my husband successfully contested her moving, he’d pretty much be consigning all three kids to a continuing life on welfare.

Best of luck to you, Baloo, and do keep us posted. From what you’ve said, your ex and my husband’s ex have an awful lot in common. Don’t give up the fight.

Sorry I have no advice for you, but,

((((((((Baloo))))))))

What a nightmare for you and your son.

Bo

Baloo…
Fuck! That’s bullshit. Good luck man, sounds like you might need a more accessible attorney.

TW forgot to absent herself from her house (trailer) when I showed up on her doorstep Tuesday morning. She also forgot to peek out the window to see who it was before she answered the door. I got to have Son for 3 hours that morning, and will try to pick him up tomorrow (Saturday) morning for our weekend visit.

She claimed she had only returned the previous week for a short while because her mother had passed away (TW could not stand her mother – ex-mom-in-law [EMIL] was quite psychotic herself). EMIL lived in Texas (and she did die). So why does that require a trip back to NM? Shrug Sounds like a lame excuse for TW still being here when she was supposed to be elsewhere.

In any case, Son can talk much more intelligibly and (if you hadn’t noticed my new sig line) he’s housebroken! Er… I mean potty trained! Waaay cool! I called my mom and sister (long distance) to tell them about it. They were right (whoever they were). Parents are crazy. I’m living proof!

All indications point to a possible falling out with SD. Too bad. The woman I lived was replaced with a crazy lady. I wouldn’t be surprised if SD finally discovered the crazy lady had replaced his woman, too. I’m trying not to gloat – after all, I could be wrong. Besides, if SD found out how erratic TW can be when she wants something that isn’t in his best interest, I can still be glad for him.

~~Baloo