And who could forgot the young woman who used to work in the cubicle next over from me who, because she considered it to be a fairly “high-class” law firm, thought speaking above a breathy whisper was gauche and not allowed, apparently grounds for dismissal.
I got so frustrated with straining to hear what she was saying, then asking her to repeat herself, and finally having to get up and go stand near her cubicle to have a conversation about anything, including work.
I finally gave up and refused to converse with her, unless it was absolutely necessary.
I get this, all the time. My husband says, “mumble mumble 6:30 mumble” while he’s walking out the door. I respond, “What?” and he snaps at me, “6:30!” Ok, whatever. Dinner at 6:30, or wake him up the next morning at 6:30, or something, I suppose.
I used to work in telephone customer service. Trust me, this problem is universal. To compound the OP’s issue, it seems like the only time people WILL repeat the entire phrase is when you only missed a certain part. I cannot overstate the number of times I’ve had the following conversation near-verbatim:
Me: And may I have your phone number please?
Customer: Seven two five murphlblurpxvn.
Me: I’m sorry, what were those last four digits please?
Customer: Seven two five murphlblurpxvn.
Me: Okay, sir, I’ve got “seven two five”; could you please repeat the last four digits?
I have the opposite problem with my kids - especially in the car when they insist on speaking to the window instead of to me. Kid#1: So Mom, like Suzi and Johnny had this like huge fight at school and they like broke up and she was like so upset and I was trying to help her so I like went to the guidance counselor with her and she like said that I have to get my &*^%%(RYF^%E^E
Me: get your what?
Kid#1:like Suzi and Johnny had this like huge fight at school and they like broke up and she was like so upset and I was trying to help her so I like went to the guidance counselor with her and she like said that I have to get my &*^%%(RYF^%E^E
Repeat
Me: Could you please just tell me what exactly the guidance counselor said and leave out everything else and stop talking to the window!!!
Drives me nuts and my youngest is doing it now too! Please don’t repeat everything you just told me, I have asked you a very specific question about the part I missed and that’s all the info I want!
Saying “what” as a prompt for someone to repeat something is rude even if it proceeded by “sorry.” In polite society, the person who wants something repeated should say “pardon” at the least. It would be even better to say, “I beg your pardon. Could you repeat that?” Saying “what” is like greeting someone with “hey.”
I agree. It seems common in the USA, much less so in the UK for that very reason: to British ears at least, “what” sounds abrupt and rude. Another one is responding to “Thank you” with a vague “mm-hmm”. Drives me mad, that does.
:rolleyes: Sorry, but “polite society” differs from place to place. If I heard someone here say “I beg your pardon,” I’d assume he was a conceited jackass trying to look superior to the common folk.
I assure you that “what?” and “hey” are completely acceptable here. But substitute whatever expression works for you and carry on.
(Really? “Hey?” This is why I don’t travel, I don’t want to get my ass kicked.)
My wife does something similar to this. We’ll be in a noisy grocery store, and she’ll say something that’s barely audible in the direction of a freezer case or something. I’ll ask her what she said and she’ll repeat it with a stronger tone but the same volume, again nowhere near the direction of my ears. Sometimes I give up at this point, other times not.
I have this happen to me, particularly when I am being polite and expressing interest just for the sake of the speaker. So I kind of figure they interpret my, “oh,really” as “what did you say” because they assume I am not really interested. I don’t worry about it.
As to the OP and his fellow travellers I am surprised that you haven’t caught on that “what?” is so general that the speaker doesn’t know what you mean. Your own experience proves it. Try something else. I find, “could you repeat that please?” works well.
I know which I prefer to hear when interviewing if a question is misunderstood by the applicant.
I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard an American under age forty or fifty say “pardon” in my life. It’s a little more common among older people, but still not what I’d call a majority. For example, I’m thinking that my grandmother will be quite surprised to learn that she’s been “abrupt and rude” to me for the past thirty years without either of us even knowing it. :rolleyes:
I didn’t say they said “pardon.” Polite people will something like, “excuse me, could you repeat that?” Or maybe even an “I’m sorry, what was that again?” But a just plain “what” is for unmannered clods.
Ah, so it’s those three superfluous words that can seperate the “unmannered clods” from the polite gentlemen. I’ll keep that in mind if I’m ever forced to be around someone so uptight that they’d even notice something like that. Hopefully that won’t happen, though.
It doesn’t have to be those particular words, but just plain “what” sounds surly and brusque and mildly arrogant. Don’t forget that you are asking for something. Ask it politely, don’t just “what” them like they owe you something.
I think that would depend a lot more on your tone of voice than on your choice of words. Anyone that could come away with that impression from me saying “what” just isn’t paying attention.
I think maybe you’re just unaware of how it sounds to other people. It’s not the epitome of rudeness. It’s not like pissing on their carpet or something, but it’s mildly irritating and belittling and cumultively, it can become quite annoying.
Greeting someone with “hey” isn’t ok? 