Actually, I think it was Miss Manners (may have been Ann Landers) who said exactly the opposite. “I beg your pardon” is an apology, and why should I apologize to somebody because they didn’t speak clearly/loudly enough?
No it doesn’t. If you haven’t heard something, say so. Is it too difficult to say, “I’m sorry but I didn’t hear that”?
:rolleyes: OK, it doesn’t.
Eh, I’m with the OP on this. (And where I’m from, “what?” is a perfectly acceptable way of asking somebody to repeat themselves. Your mileage may vary.)
Also drives me crazy when people think that they have to give a long and detailed explanation/elaboration which is not only unneccessary, but makes no sense at all if I didn’t hear whatever their first sentence was.
“What time is the movie tonight?”
“Sorry, what did you say?”
“You know, it’s something about a dog and a nuclear war and it’s got Julia Stiles in it and I thought it’d be nice to do something after work tonight.”
“???”
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
And to that, may I add: If I say: “I dont’ understand.” Please dont’ say EXACTLY the same thing you said, using EXACTLY the same words. “I don’t understand” does NOT mean “I didn’t hear you, please repeat.” It means: the words you used, in the orde ryou used them, did not convey meaning to me that I can now act upon. You need to use different words to get your message through.
My problem is the opposite of the OP’s.
“Tomorrow I have to go and see Suzie, then we’re going to go to the shops, then later have lunch. After that we’ll go to see a movie, and following the movie we’re going to have coffee, then if you’d like to, we can meet up for dinner at wrrgyhwrrm.”
Me: “Where are you going for dinner?”
“I said, tomorrow I have to go and see Suzie, then we’re going to go to the shops, then later have lunch. After that we’ll go to see a movie, and following the movie we’re going to have coffee, then if you’d like to, we can meet up for dinner at wrrgyhwrrm.”
Me: “No, where?”
“::Sigh:: I said, tomorrow I have to go and see Suzie, then we’re going to go to the shops, then later have lunch. After that we’ll go to see a movie, and following the movie we’re going to have coffee, then if you’d like to, we can meet up for dinner at Chilli’s.” :rolleyes:
Oi. I didn’t ask for the whole fucking thing again - just the fucking answer to the specific fucking question I clearly just asked!
See, when I say “what?”, I mean “did you just say what I thought you said?”, only with less emphasis. So when they repeat the message, I get a little annoyed (not much–I know I’m not in the majority), because that’s not what I meant at all.
Haha. This is me. I have a friend who bitches about it all the time. I’LL WORK ON IT, OKAY?
Yeah, that does sound good. What’s the title again?
I get this from both angles, and it pisses me off. For some reason, I can’t always parse what a person is saying very well (especially if I’m caught off guard). So I wind up asking people to repeat themselves more than I’d like.
On the other hand, I hate being asked to repeat myself, but it seems to happen a lot (I assume it has to do with a combination of being soft-spoken, fast talking and picking up a slurred accent). If you ask me once I’ll give in and repeat myself. If you ask me twice…well, don’t bother, because unless it’s important I’m not saying it a third time. Pay better attention next time.
My, this thread is uncovering a vicious chasm in human behavior! :eek: Seems everyone has some qualm about “what?”, whether it’s the word itself or people’s inconsistent responses to it.
I propose a gathering, 9 AM tomorrow, for all speakers of English, so we can get this mess sorted out. Attendance is mandatory.
I think “what” can come across as a little bit rude, or at the least, too informal, depending on the circumstances. I use it with my friends and relatives, but with people I know less well or in a more formal setting, I was brought up to say “pardon me” when I don’t hear something. I don’t think I would ever use “I beg your pardon” unless I was having tea with the Queen.
I suspect the disagreement about the proper way to phrase it is a regional thing.
My frustration is when I ask “What did you just say?” and am treated to a reinterpritation.
Him: I’m heading to the grocery store later
I hear: *mumble mumble * rosary tomatoes
Me: What did you just say?
Him: After lunch I thought I’d go do some food shopping.
No, no. While I am grateful for the information my need to know what words just morphed in my brain is currently greater.
To me, that’s a matter of your tone and facial expressions. “What?” means, “I didn’t hear you,” but “What?” furrows brow means, “What you just said makes no sense, please clarify.”
I’ve thought about writing this OP about Mrs P occasionally. She always assumes that it is only the last word of the sentence she’s just said that you missed.
The other thing she does is hear me, but because she’s thinking about something else she can’t process what I’ve said, so she just keeps reflexively asking me to repeat myself till her brain catches up. I’ve now learned that when I think she would actually have heard me but has just reflexively said “what?” I just pause. At least three out of four times, she’ll realise she has actually heard what I said, and will answer.
I never say “what?” to anyone if I didn’t hear or understand. I say “Pardon?”
Ah, a place to complain about my own problems with the word “what”! The Bulgarians often interpret my questioning about what such and such is to be literally what does this word MEAN. It drives me crazy because although I definitely do make mistakes, my Bulgarian is pretty damned good for a foreigner, trust me. Do you really think I don’t know what that word means?! Like:
Colleague: We don’t have school next Friday!
Me: Oh really? What’s Friday?
Colleague: Um, it’s a day of the week…the day between Thursday and Saturday…
Me: Yes, I know what “Friday” means. But why do we have the day off? Is it a holiday?
Yeah, I could have phrased it differently, but I didn’t think you would interpret my question so literally! I know the names of the days of the week, THANKS.
P.S. I usually say “excuse me?” or “sorry?” if I didn’t hear. “What?” does sound a little brusque.
A marvellous anecdote to relate on the day that one of the Zucker brothers has died.
I agree with the OP, and the blame should be laid squarely at the feet of the English language.
Spanish has different words for “What? I didn’t hear you” and “What? I don’t understand what you mean.”
See, and I tend to repeat only one word from the sentance when confronted with a “what?” because at least 90% of the time, the person who just said “What?” at me is my husband, who just flat wasn’t paying attention for a minute there, and, given a minor verbal clue, will catch the hell up in a big hurry. So if I’ve just said something like “Don’t forget, we have plans to watch the new Indiana Jones movie at 7 with Matt” and he responds with “What?”, I can just say “movie” or “Matt” at him and his memory will kick in and he’ll get the rest of the information. Repeating the whole sentance just irritates the both of us - me because I’m repeating verbatim a sentance I’ve just uttered and him because he’ll remember mid-sentance and get trapped in the “Too polite to interrupt with an “I remember now” but feeling like a dipstick for making my wife repeat herself to me like I’m an idiot because I zoned out for a minute there” thing.
We play this game often, because my husband’s ability to be distracted by thin air is nigh-legendary in its capacity. I try to remember to repeat the whole thing if I’m talking to, say, my father (who is hard of hearing), but habits are habits.