August Can't Take It Anymore: August Mini-Rants

The BBQ Pit
21

I went on a trip recently with my brother and my mom. On the way home, we tried to have a civil conversation about politics. I guess we succeeded in not punching each other, but almost a week later, I’m still mentally arguing with them. Can I give you the highlights?

Brother: “I truly believe that Trump loves America and is doing his best for us.”

Mom: “Melania is a good and kind person, but they were so jealous of her they wouldn’t let her be on the cover of Vogue.”
Brother: “Yeah, and she went to the border to visit the migrants.”
Me: [spluttering] “What about that jacket?”
Mom and brother: “What jacket?”
They literally had never heard the “I don’t care do U?” story. Brother said, “No way, that would have been all over the news.” Me: “IT WAS!”
I looked it up on my phone and showed it to brother (Mom was driving). At this point I should have gone for the jugular, but in an effort to let him save face, I said, “You see? We’re not getting the same news stories.”
Brother: “Well, I don’t watch the news.”

Mom said she thought there were some things Americans could agree on, like term limits, flat tax rates, and clean bills to vote on (no riders). I said, “Well, maybe I’ll vote for you…what’s your stance on abortion? For society”, (because I know she’s pro-life). She said, “Well, maybe we should have Planned Parenthood…except that they sell the fetus parts on the black market.”

Me: “Why do you hate Nancy Pelosi?”
Mom: “Oh lots of reasons. Like that one time, there was a bill she wanted to pass, but there wasn’t enough time to read it, so she said, ‘Pass it first and then you can read it’.”

At one point, she went on a tear about how politicians are so disgusting, how they lie and flaunt their wealth. A Trump supporter said this.

We passed a Confederate flag. That sparked a whole new conversation.
Brother: “I don’t know why people want to change school’s names. It doesn’t matter.”
Me: “Okay, then let’s do it.”
Brother: “NOOOOO!”

We didn’t get to go over the events of January 6th, because my brother started to get irate about my use of the word “insurrection”.

Et cetera. I am just so angry with them still. And of course Brother isn’t vaccinated, and won’t wear a mask.

22

It’s been a long time since I’ve been here. I am back. My minirant for today is that I had to leave my baby and go to work. Why does the modern world require us to work? With all our technology, I feel like we could have fixed this by now. I miss my baby.

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On the other hand, my wife couldn’t wait to go back to work after her (fairly short) maternity leave… “Please, let me be around GROWN-UPS!”

25

A long-awaited family reunion, with relatives from both coasts planning to attend, had to be rescheduled yet again because of the virus resurgence. It was supposed to have been held last year, but was obviously rescheduled until this weekend. Now we’re going to try again next summer. But with the six survivors of the eldest generation ranging in age from 85 to 100, who knows who will be able to attend next year?

26

Yeah, mom turned 90 two January’s ago. Being in MN, we planned the blowout for that summer. That didn’t obviously didn’t happen. We managed to get all but two of her descendants out to Nashville over the 4th of July (see the July mini-rants for why American Airlines sucks) - glad we pulled that off, because it’s looking like it will be awhile before we can get everyone back together. I’ve got a nephew getting married next May, hopefully things will have subsided (and not re-arisen) by then.

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Dung_Beetle: Reading your post, I’m so glad my family is dead.

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I don’t think Mom or Brother are evil people deep down. I don’t want them to die. But I sure as hell hope they never vote again.

29

Mom found out this morning that a neighbor on the street behind us has gone all in on the “COVID is a hoax!” thing…at the same time, this neighbor’s husband has found some doctor in another state to write a prescription for Ivermectin so they can have it on hand in case they get sick. :sweat:

30

Today we went out to a new Mexican place for a late lunch/early dinner. There were 3 tables filled in the entire room and we were well spread out from each other.

Our food was served and then the wait staff started setting the table next to us with 3 coloring menus and crayons along with 2 adult menus.

Seriously? The place is empty and you think its a good idea to set a family with children right next to a table of old folks who came in masked? Would that have been acceptable in the before times?

I complained and the wait staff looked highly annoyed by having to move the menus to a different table. I mentioned that moving menus seemed easier than moving a table full of food and drinks, but they still looked annoyed.

This is the first time since the world ended that we only tipped 18%.

Also, hubs the anti-vax idiot came down with COVID in May. He still can’t do simple stuff like figuring tips out and I can tell that its frustrating him when he has to pull his phone out to do that stuff. He also hasn’t been able to concentrate enough to maintain an erection long enough to achieve penetration or even orgasm with manual/oral stimulation.

Get vaxxed kids, you won’t like it when your balls don’t work anymore.

31

After a week of near 100 temps, today was unseasonably pleasant. I went out to feed the neighborhood kitties and saw my neighbor on his porch. I thought I’d go over to have a nice catch-up with him. But it wasn’t nice because the cicadas are SO LOUD. One of us would start a sentence when the noise was a low roar and by the time we got to the end of it, the sound had crescendoed into a cacophonous assault. We finally gave up since yelling at each other wasn’t pleasant. Damn cicadas need to get on with their courting and shut the fuck up.

32

I used to have a Cardinal (bird) perch in a tree right outside our bedroom window and sing/call/beg for a mate every morning at the crack of dawn. I have never wished so hard that an animal would get fucking laid in my life.

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My cell phone ring tone is cicadas. At this time of year I cannot tell when I am outside if my phone is going off or if it’s the real thing!

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I can be comfortable like that while awake, but I start choking on my own spit if I sleep on my back, so it tends to be a non-starter, even sitting up partially now I simply can’t get to sleep =(

Ouchies, that sounds sucktastic =( I hope it is doing better now.

Thanks =)
When in hospital right after I had my guts rearranged I could at least sleep on my right side, the sores under my arm will heal soon [at least I hope soon =) ]

35

Hammock? Might be a little more forgiving than a solid bed, and you could still sleep on your side. Perhaps not practical if there’s no hammock stores around, but you could probably get one online.

36

no place to sling one … mrAru and I live in a 20x30 studio apartment [the top floor of our barn, the rest is solid with stored stuff between 5000 books boxed, previous stored belongings and stuff salvaged from the house fire the downstairs looks like it should be on that show about hoarding =) ]

37

I popped my jaw this afternoon and now my ear hurts.

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I have a wonderful new invention; please help me fund it as it will undoubtedly benefit you as well.

It very simply combines a taser with a computer / phone / tablet & works like this - if you go into your email & press < Reply All > & type combination of

  • I’m coming / I’ll be there or
  • Thanks / Thank you

the taser will immediately deploy knocking the typer on their ass.

I’ve gotten two (legit) email invites in the past 24 hrs; one was sent to 80 people with the other being sent to an email distribution list that I am on with probably more people receiving it. One is for an annual (outdoor) memorial event for the senders sibling that usually gets 80-100 people in attendance. Even if I couldn’t stand one of those who replied all that they’re going to be there, I’m going to support the family of the decedent I would be mature enough to avoid/ignore my supposed mortal enemy rather than not show if I knew they were coming.

39

A few little traffic complaints –

  • Don’t break the rules of traffic in order to “be courteous.” Yes, the man in the Expedition was going to be waiting a very long time to make his right turn, but you were under no obligation to hold up traffic on his behalf…especially when the people in the lane to the left of you have no idea why you didn’t start moving when the light turned green, assumed you were broken down or texting, and nearly wrecked when the aforementioned Expedition plowed into both lanes.
  • If you choose to drive a vehicle the size of an Expedition, learn how to drive the fucking thing. (I say this as a person who learned to drive on a Suburban.)
  • The purpose of the on-ramp is so you can accelerate to interstate highway speed before merging. I’m still trying to figure out what you’re trying to prove by maintaining your speed at 55 mph until the ramp runs out.
40

Oh god, yes. I was almost in a multiple-car collision the other day, because some misguided samaritan in heavy traffic slammed on his brakes to let someone in. Please don’t do this!!!