Mom has clearly declined mentally. She has always been somewhat absent minded and forgetful. It is much worse now.
Mom refuses to move from her condo into an assisted living facility. My sister says that if Mom gets any worse eithe she must move into an assisted living facility or I must move into her condo to take care of her. You bitch! You say you cannot do it. You have not said why. I currently have a job. You are currently out of work. True, I work from home, BUT I do not have time during the day to take care of Mom. I cannot take care of her at night, as I have to get enough sleep to work during the day. Also, it is not clear that the company I work for will continue to employ me if I move to Florida. Also, I would either have to keep paying rent on an apartment I am not living or break my lease, pay a penalty and then figure out what to do with all my stuff.
Why the fucking hell can’t you do it? I believe you can. You just, once again, feel that your little brother has had a free ride while you had to do all the work and this time he should have to do all the work. Fuck you!
It does, and I’ve heard this argument before, but to me it was self-evident and was why I stayed with powdered detergent longer than I should have, and in fact I may have argued on this very board about this disadvantage of pods. But ultimately it comes down to results, and you can’t argue with success. Obviously, the lack of detergent in the pre-rinse cycle doesn’t matter if you have good enough detergent in the wash cycle.
IIRC with powdered detergent, despite filling both the wash cup and the pre-wash cup, I was getting some stuff out of the dishwasher that was still somewhat smudged or otherwise not perfectly clean, and wondered whether it was time for a new dishwasher. No such problem with Quantum Ultimate. Ironically, the powder was made by Finish, the same company that makes the pods. I was persuaded to try pods when I noticed that powdered detergent was being phased out and getting harder to find, whereas there are many different brands of pods. I don’t claim that they’re all great, but I swear by Quantum Ultimate.
Some dishwasher how-to videos also tell you stuff like you should run hot water in the kitchen faucet before turning on the dishwasher, which makes sense, and I do. And never to just throw a pod into the bottom of the dishwasher, which also makes sense and I don’t (the pod will get used up on the pre-rinse cycle).
I wish to counter, here and now, this rising libelous calumny that I am a worthless lazy dog. Avoiding work in general is a vice, but avoiding unnecessary work is a mark of efficiency!
My Bernese Mountain Dog exemplified this philosophy perfectly. He had lots of energy and loved to go on walks, run in the park, and play with other dogs. But I had an interesting experience when trying to teach him to fetch when he was a puppy. He was already showing signs of high intelligence and the “fetch” exercise was further proof. I threw a tennis ball across the yard and told him to fetch. He was sitting beside me and looked up at me with a sort of bemused expression, clearly asking, in doggie language, “why did you throw away a perfectly good tennis ball?” Efficiency! Even in puppyhood, he was a master of it!
It may be so in your specific case, but probably not in the method @LurkMeister described which involves a sink full of hot water and probably also pre-rinsing and post-rinsing. In any case, I’d never run the dishwasher for just a plate and a knife and fork. This is why I wait until it’s either nearly full or I’m running out of something. I can pretty much guarantee that the bulk wash in the dishwasher is going to use much less water than the sum total of your individual hand washings.
I just finished my lunch break and went back on queue. My sister gave me the task of making Mom lunch and bringing it upstairs to her (the downstairs heater failed due to freezing over). I did so yesterday and today. It just struck me- why me? I get 30 minutes for lunch. It takes roughly 15 minutes to make Mom lunch, bring it to her and make sure she is okay and does not need anything else. If I am on a call, lunch breaak may be late- once I did not get to take lunch until 2:30.
My sister is currently out of work. My SIL is working but is largely free this week and is at home with us.
Why the hell is the one person with a job that has them working 9-5 responsible for taking care of Mom? I can only think of two explanations- my sister is just used to her having a job and me being jobless and hasn’t shifted from that mindset, or she thinks that since she has had to do all the work all these years it is my turn.
Mini Rant-
Yesterday, we ordered Chinese. There was a group text involved. My SIL sent a large, clear and readable image of the restaurant’s menu. Then, rather than asking Mom and I if we had seen the image among the flurry of messages, she just assumed that we did. We did not. Both Mom and I Googled the name of the Chinese restaurant, found another restaurant of the same name in the area and read the wrong menu. Had my SIL mentioned the message with the picture of the menu, this could easily have been avoided.
The situation was not discovered until they were ordering at the restaurant. I looked at the wrong menu and ordered bourbon chicken. The restaurant did not have bourbon chicken.
Rather than actually asking what I wanted instead, my sister and SIL just ordered honey chicken for me. I like honey chicken. But I had honey chicken from this restaurant last week. I would have ordered something else if they had given me the chance.
I wish. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve pulled out utensils, plates, etc. with dried cheese or other gunk still on them even with the really nice Cascade Platinum pods I use, if somehow something got missed and wasn’t soaked and/or scrubbed ahead of time. My dishes get visibly cleaned before they go in the dishwasher or they aren’t going to be clean afterward.
Now, if you are the kind of person who can overlook the dried bits of food on your dishes, and rationalize that at least they are clean dried bits of food after being through a wash cycle, more power to you. I can’t handle that.
I guarantee you that I don’t save that much water using the dishwasher than I would hand-washing, probably the opposite.
No, I expect everything to be pristine and sparkling clean. I use my judgment regarding scrubbing and pre-rinsing. Anything with burned-on stuff that’s been in the oven, like a casserole dish, at least gets well soaked first if not scrubbed. My beautiful heavy KitchenAid saucepan gets the interior scrubbed with a scouring pad because it gives it a nice shine. What I don’t usually scrub is dinner plates and saucers after any solid stuff has been scraped off. Whatever remains comes right off even if it sits in the dishwasher for days and dries out.
From reviews I’ve seen, there’s no clear difference between the best Cascade pods and Finish Quantum; both are generally rated very high. I’m sticking with Finish because it works so well for me. The powder definitely was less effective.
Okay, then in that case our approaches are the same.
I don’t generally scrub everything off, just whatever experience tells me is still going to be dirty afterward. And most things can just be rinsed; say a plate had ketchup on it, a quick rinse and that’s gone so it won’t dry on the plate and then may or may not come off after a wash.
But as you say, there are some things that won’t come off (burnt-on is a guarantee as you mentioned) unless you really scrub. I use casserole dishes for quite a few things and after being in the oven they are going to need some elbow grease. Often I’ll just soak then scrape off whatever is burnt and then toss it in the dishwasher (or at that point I may just handwash it since I already have it at the sink wet, it depends on how I feel).
I was short with my beloved mother. It has been a stressful two weeks with my sister and SIL. Mom came on Saturday. She is constantly trying to be helpful, reduce work for us, and keep the peace. Unfortunately, most of the things she does are not helpful and do not reduce work. For example- She was seated in a comfy chair by the heating vent. I had prepared her breakfast and coffee and placed it on a little table by the chair. I asked if there was anything else she needed before I sat down and logged into work. She said no. A minute later, she said was going to get up, walk to the kitchen and get more coffee. As Mom has trouble getting up, sitting down, and walking without her waker (there is no room for her walker in this house) and there are many tripping hazards, this was a very bad idea. I said she did in fact need me to do something and told her to sit down while I got her moe coffee.
Later, while I was on a call I saw she had gotten out of the chair (bad idea), walked to the table where I was working (bad idea and a falling hazard) and was offering me a pack of chewing gum. She had asked me last night if I had gum to chew on the plane to helo with the ear popping. I said I did not. She said she would give me some. While it was very sweet of her to ask and to give me the gum, it has been an aggraviting tension filled visit and an aggravating and tension filled morning. She should not have gotten up and walked to the table. I have repeatedly told her that the best way to communicate with me when I am wearing my headphones and working is to text me. Mom, though baffled by most of the iPhone. Is faster and typing texts than I am. She held out the gum and mouthed something. I cannot read lips very well. I am not sure what it was. I mouthed no and shook my head. She made the offering jesture again. Frustrated, I mouthed no aain, shook my head no vigorouly and sternly gestured for her to just sit back down in the big comfy chair. I cannot aologize to her yet. That would involve explaining that I am tense, frustrated and on guard due to the many things that have happened with my sister and SIL during this visit. Obviously, I cannot explain that in their presence or there will be yet another unpleasant incident.
Second Rant
My sister took us to some neat stores last night. We visited a Big Lots as they are having a going out of business sale. Ny sister found a great Jack Skellington t-shirt fo me. I loved the design. We checked the size and were sure it would fit. It was only $6. There were many big signs saying ‘All sales are final! No refunds or exchanges!’ based on all that, I did not keep track of the receipt. This morning, I put on the shirt. It still has an anti-theft tag on it. They will most likely not remove that tag without a receipt.
I pit my absent-mindedness and general disorganization. It occurred to me on the way out the door that I had neglected to pay the latest credit card statement on the card I most often use for shopping, and it was more than a week overdue. No big deal, I do this all the time and still have a great credit score.
Imagine my surprise and embarrassment when I tried to pay with the card and it was declined! After I got home and checked things out it turned out that I had somehow misread the statement. According to my records my last payment was in the middle of November, so it wasn’t a week overdue, it was two freaking months overdue! Bad dog!
Yes, it’s going to take a hit, but probably not a huge one in the large scheme of things. Like my other cards, I’ve had this one practically forever and they’ve raised the credit limit to astronomical levels, both of which things carry weight in credit assessments. Anyway, as a retired Old Fart who also happens to be a dog, my credit score isn’t a big concern!
I have two e-mail accounts. Both are at Yahoo. They “upgraded” me to their new mail. One of the many new 'features" is that I can see the name of the sender, but not their e-mail address. I routinely receive spam with my beloved’s name as the sender. Now, I have to click on the e-mail and read it to know if really is from her or just more spam. Considering that she has sent me many important and helpful e-mails and attached file, and many wonderful photos and videos, I am entirely unwilling to just assume an e-mail with her name is spam and delete it unread.
I am not at all familiar with Yahoo mail, but you may be able to set a filter to reject/flag mail where the name is ‘my beloved’ and the email address is not ‘beloved@realAddress.com’
@DocCathode : Are you using the web version of Yahoo Mail? When you’re in the Inbox view, hover the mouse of the name of the sender. The e-mail address will pop up after a second or so. I tried this in the “Standard” and “Basic Mail” views. See the screen shot below.
Note to dumbshit self: When attempting a home repair you’ve never done before, watch the Youtube videos before you start disassembling things.
Last night, the latch that locks the slider from my bedroom to the Great Outdoors decided to stop working. I was determined to repair it this morning. I gave the latch assembly a quick onceover, grabbed a screwdriver and took apart the indoor/outdoor handles that hold the latch assembly in place.
The outdoor handle dropped off outside and I heard the ominous sound of something falling inside the door, never to be seen nor heard from again.
At this point, I finally had a squiz at a Youtube that explained what had happened: There’s a spring that’s part of the latch assembly that came loose when I took the door handles apart.
So now I have to replace the entire @#$#!! latch assembly! If I’d left the door handles in place, I likely could have unstuck the latch with a generous application of WD40 and nothing more.
While in Florida, my sister drove me and our mom to many thrift stores. I am trying to declutter so I resisted many great deals. My personal laptop is nearing the end of its life. Laptops no longer include DVD drives. I will need an external one. I found an LG external DVD drive for $3.99. I am havig problems getting it to work. I strongly suspect it is a driver conflict. My sister does not shop at thrift stores and has no experience reparing computers or electronics. She said the drive would not work because 'you bought it at a thrift store". My sister in law is a computer nerd. If she had examined the hardware and software, the drive would be working. Instead, my SIL who has never shopped at a thrift store, and strongly dislikes even entering thrift stores when my sister takes us, just said ‘It will not work because you bought it in a thrift store’.
Just need a little encouragement and connection today, I guess.
It’s been a lot of stupid little stuff lately. My girlfriend and I broke up. My job has been fucking awful in a whole lot of ways since about August. A whole lot of people have quit (nearly everyone I like, really) I’ve been struggling a lot with the decision to leave as well. I mean, if you guys know nothing else about me, you know how much I love that shelter… but I can’t anymore. Every day is exhausting and demoralizing and I just can’t.
Even “my” kid is gone. They sent her back to live with her mom, so I have no way of contacting her or knowing how she’s doing and have no idea if I’ll ever see her again.
The weather has been dismal. It gets just warm enough for a couple hours to turn the snow to ice. I have a long gravel driveway that’s just a sheet of ice and has been for weeks now. So I haven’t been able to get mail or packages or trash pickup. I normally use grocery delivery for things like cat litter and paper towels because I really struggle to get those things in and out of the car and up my front stairs, but that’s not available either.
Dismal, icy, frigid weather also really sucks for the animals. I have three small geriatric dogs, all of whom were already seniors and none of whom were super solid on housebreaking when I got them. I promise I’m trying. They fell into the “good if kept on a schedule” category pre-weather, but currently, they don’t want to go outside, so trying to keep everything clean and get them to go outside is a constant battle and, no matter what I do (nonstop cleaning, keeping all three diapered or penned in a cleanable area, SO much laundry, and still always trying to train), I feel like a disgusting human being living in squalor.
I’m just tired. And lonely. And depressed. I don’t have anyone left to talk to. My girlfriend and I broke up a week ago and I haven’t said anything to anyone about it because I just… don’t have anyone.
Anyway. It’s my day off, which means it’s my day to do chores. It’s nearly noon and I’ve gotten next to nothing done. Showered, fed the dogs, made my bed, and that kind of basic stuff, but I’m having a lot of trouble just picking myself up and doing all the stuff that needs to be done. I just want to go back to bed and stay there.
Avoiding work in general is a vice, but avoiding unnecessary work is a mark of efficiency!
