You can have 4. The rum is surprisingly light (I think).
Fine by me, 4 it is. Just take away my 
keys for a couple hours.
I can shovel snow (as in, I know how) but I’m not gonna, per doctor’s orders. As for folding sheets … occasionally my son comes over with a suitcase of laundry, since his apartment has shared laundry facilities. He eventually leaves with (a) a suitcase of half the clean laundry, and (b) a garbage bag full of the rest of it.
The official line here is that washing and drying laundry puffs it up to twice its normal thickness. The sad reality is that I can’t fold laundry of any kind to save my life. In fact I believe it should be possible to formulate a mathematical proof that folding a fitted sheet into the same smooth, flat rectangle that it originally resembled when you bought it is physically impossible after it’s been opened and deployed. I think it has something to do with entropy.
My son knows that if he complains I’ll just send him and his laundry to his mother’s house, where for some reason the normal laws of laundry-folding entropy don’t apply.
So, I guess my several disabilities disqualify me from a welcome at chez Ellecram’s. 
Truth has been spoken!
There must be a dissertation on this somewhere.
Once I even resorted to watching some you Tube videos giving pointers on this detestable laundry task.
I suspect the guy was a wizard or a magician because I could never replicate his smooth sheet foldin.
You can still come for the party!
We can write entropy haikus while we sip whiskey and gaze quizzically at blobular crumples.
A first whack at it:
Snow falls; sheets must fold
entropy sez crumple’s best
flat’s too hard for us.
I got some new sheets. They’re very nice, but the bottom sheet has elastic all the way around. I might not ever try to fold it. 
I love it!
New Mini Rant
At times, my beloved is unsure whether she wants to spend the rest of her life in a romantic relationship with me. At these times, she may suggest that I should see other people, that she should see other people, that I have too many problems, and that while we can still snuggle we should no longer be romantically intimate.
We are, sadly, going through one of these times. I am confident that if I just behave as aI usually do and am patient, this will pass. I am confused and a little angry over the conversation I just had with her. She accused me of making many Facebook posts just to get likes and comments from an ex girlfriend (This is just to confusing using just pronouns. From now on, my ex will be LL.). Yes, that ex girlfriend is on my FB friends list. So is her husband (he will be VL). They are both very interested in cartoons and toys from the 1980’s- as are most of the people on my friends list. One of the reasons I moved into my current neighborhood was that I was somewhat familair with it from all the times I had visited them. Another reason was that my beloved suggested it. LL and VL did not visit my first apartment often. They have no car, and it took about two hours to get from their apartment to mine by public transit. When the clutter got exceptionally bad and management threatened to evict me, they took off work, came over, brought a bunch of cleaning and organizing supplies they bought with their own money, and worked for about 23 hours straight.
Now that I am only a seven minute walk away, I intended to have them over more often. I just always felt I was intruding. They were supposed to come over this weekend to pick up some collectables I had set aside for them while decluttering, and to go through the very big ‘donate’ pile to be sure there is nothing they want in it. Once they do that, I can put the pile in trash bags and my beloved can drive it to Goodwill.
I am very confused that my beloved, who currently says we are not in a romantic relationship, seems to be jealous of any time or attention I give LL. We really are just very good friends now. There hasn’t been anything romantic between us for a very long time.
I also shared a post on the scifi show Cleopatra 2525. I mentioned that while there was an obvious “jiggle factor”, the show actually had good acting and clever writing. Despite the fact that Cleopatra 2525 has been off the air for decades, she feels it was inappropriate of me to mention this while I am dating her.
If we are in a romantic relationship, I want all the good things that come with that. If we are not in a romantic relationship, I feel she has no right to act angry or jealous.
Run for your life. You are not the only one with a lot of problems.
Even if you were still in a mutually agreed romantic relationship none of what you’ve done merits anger or jealousy. None. Get out now before it costs you another $10,000.
I am aware my beloved’s psyche is not without scars. Her problems are made much worse by the fact that she had to move in with her aging mother. her mom lacks any qualities I would generally associate with a mother. She is not patient, giving, caring etc. During the many hours I spent at the house while my beloved’s father was dying, her mother only spoke to me directly once. I saw she was carrying a stool and said “That looks heavy. Would you like me to carry it for you?” She looked at me and said with utter loathing “You have no idea what I can carry.” The woman is emotionally and verbally abusive to her daughter. Much of her behavior is a textbook definition of gaslighting.
I have complained, politely and gently, about the jealousy before. Some of the ‘you have too many problems’ stuff has merit. I have been slow to declutter. I am prone, as you may have noticed, to depression. She has some reasons to worry that she will always be caring for me emotionally and financially and that I will never be able to take care of her.
That being said, I love her truly, madly, deeply.
Given that, Doc, I’ll drop back and repeat this.
I understand what you are saying. However, I would also ask you and other Dopers to keep in mind that while there are monthly mini rant threads where I often complain about negative qualities and actions of my loved ones, there are no equivalent threads to praise them for their many positive qualities and actions.
Wash day dilemma:
Who can fold a fitted sheet?
Blobular crumple!
Sheets? Ha!
Try rain gear, either a good set (like FrogTogs) or the one-time use pocket rain ponchos. Do you know why they are one time use? Because they are vacuum-sealed, which is mind-boggling because they are not sealed. Pull them out once & you’ll never again get it anywhere near the size it was in your pocket (or bag that it came in). It starts raining so you pull one out; it stops raining so you either want to take it off & put it away for further use that day or at least until you have somewhere to throw it out but it’s now at least 10x the original size. How???
I was going to type something yesterday but I got a paper cut.
Since I am on blood thinners this was a minor catastrophe.
My kitchen sink looked like a medieval butcher shop albeit with modern paper towels.
I managed to stop the bleeding eventually with Bleed Stop and several attempts at wrapping.
Have not been able to type efficiently since then as I don’t want to reactivate the bloodflow.
Anyways - I lost the haiku I was working on but a limerick popped in:
I bought some new sheets with elastic
I thought they were just so fantastic
But all attempts at foldin
Just won’t stay a’holdin
So I threw the damn things in the basket (semi rhyme - I know)
Good News, Everybody! A Gas Leak!
I was sitting at my desk helping a caller apply for medical assistance. There was a loud POP from my kitchen. I saw a bright flash out of the corner of my eye. I wondered what it could be. When I finished the call, i took a break and inspected the kitchen. I did not smell gas. I could not find any obvious answer. I figured maybe it was the bulb over the oven going bad.
After I got back to work, it happened again. This time it was near the base of the fridge and I saw it clearly. The same POP was accompanied by a flash of flame in the air. It is definitely a gas leak.
I am not sure where the leak is. You may recall that when I was moving in, we smelled gas. The gas company sent out a team and found an internal leak in the oven. They shut off the gas to the oven. We shall see.
Jeebus man, you can’t buy a break even with someone else’s money. Sorry to hear you’re having such a tough January.
Thanks.
On the upside, two old friends visited yesterday and finally went through the ‘donate’ pile as I have been asking them to do for about the past two weeks. They took about half the pile home with them. I still have a large amount of Mr T hanging air fresheners. When my beloved visits this week, we wilk bag the rest of the pile and put it in her trunk. She will take it to Goodwill. I will have less clutter.
It Is Not A Gas Leak!
The team from the gas company just left. They said they were sure it was not a gas leak. This is actually very bad news. If it had been a gas leak, they could have fixed the problem. Now, I have to call building maintenance. If they are as incompetent and unethical as building management, I really don’t want them in my apartment. Further, if they decide all the boxes constitute “extreme hoarding”, they can break my lease and evict me.
Oh joy.
I slow down when vehicles are pulled off the road because other people are stupid and I dont trust them not to walk out from behind thier car or to fling open thier car door. Both of which has happened to me.