Are you, like most Americans, concerned how Michelle Obama would cover the funeral expenses if her husband was eaten by a crocodile? Now you can breathe a little easier knowing Australia is there in these uncertain times. The Northern Territory Government has announced its insurance company will pay the president’s family $50,000 if he gets attacked by a crocodile.
It says the First Family will receive $50,000 if the POTUS is “attacked” by a crocodile. Is that specifically if he’s killed by one? What if he’s just maimed a bit–is there some lesser pay-out? What if a crocodile attacks him, but he wrestles it into submission, Teddy Roosevelt-style?
In that case, as clichéd as it is to say it … everybody wins. 
Hmm, I’ve been LOOKING for someone to buy this volcano insurance…
Yeah, like crocodiles are all you have to worry about in Australia. How about all the venomous snakes? Cane toads? Boxing kangaroos? Cassowaries & emus?
And the dingoes. They’ll eat your baby.
Hey, that kangaroo has a gun.
You forgot the spiders. I trust that Obama’s security personnel make sure that there are no redbacks on Obama’s toilet seats.
Don’t forget the platypus!
I was amused by this sentence in the article, “‘For Michelle and the kids they can be comforted if a terrible event did occur then $50,000 would be payed out by TIO to help support them,’ he said.” So even Australians manage to mess up the past tense of the verb “to pay” (it should be “paid out”).
Goddamn - spiders, box jellyfish, sharks, monitor lizards, Tasmanian devils, fucking koalas, - why aren’t you all dead?
Amusingly, when my wife and I honeymooned in Australia, our most disturbing animal encounter was at a wildlife encounter/petting zoo type place, when a koala dropped a eucalyptus scented turd on my shoulder.
Great. So if it’s an alligator he gets nothing?
bahaha, what does eucalyptus smell like?
You forgot blue-ringed octopuses.
The crocodile insurance is probably a good thing. Just look at the reptillian eyes and sharp teeth those things have. You can tell that if your hand gets anywhere near one of those things, it will try to bite your fingers off.
I apologize for linking to the same picture twice
So NT government basically said “Hey, Obama! I’ll give you fifty grand if you taunt that crocodile!”
Now we’ll see how far he’s really willing to go to cut down the National deficit.
Though didn’t “black people being eaten by alligators” used to be some weird racist trope back during Jim Crowe? (not that I think the Aussie gov’t would be aware of that)
It did. At antiques shows, you can sometimes find pens with that theme. A black pen with a pickaninny style head sits in the mouth of of a gator pen-holder.
This thread is reminding me of this song: Deadly Animals (Come to Australia) - YouTube
For those who don’t want to click, it’s “Come to Australia” by the Scared Weird Little Guys.
After what he did to that fly during an interview a few years ago, this is a very believable outcome.
Let us not forget the gravest threat Down Under…
Australians! They are all desended from criminals!
and eat Vegemite!
and get all Hal Briston-esque with sheep!
God only knows what they may do to an unsupecting US President! 