Australia to the front again - we invent a uniquely horrible TV show.

I am watching Joker Poker at the moment. A bunch of alleged “comedians” are trying to play poker. They are not funny and cannot play poker…other than this it is a great setup.

Any competitors for most useless show on television?

Using the same parameters as the OP:

Celebrity Wrestling.

They aren’t celebrities and they can’t wrestle.

Wow, does it really exist?

That makes me think they came up with the title first, and fitted the concept to it, rather than the other way round.

When he retires, I see a future for Donald Rumsfeld as the host of Rummy’s Rummy.

Other ideas: Pissed Whist, Blackjackass, and perhaps Tourette’s Roulette.

Well it did.

I’m sure the programme is still shown on satellite TV but those shows may be repeats. I’d check on this for you but, really, I don’t want to know anything about Celebrity Wrestling that I don’t already know.

Even that’s too much.

Very fine comparison. I checked out the link and had no bloody idea at all who the “celebrities” are. I assume they had no talent and could not wrestle.

There was also Celebrity Shark Bait. They did have some proper celebrities like Richard E. Grant, but sadly they weren’t really used as shark bait. They were lowered into shark-infested waters in a cage while blood and guts were thrown in to attract the sharks. This is a real programme and not something Charlie Brooker made up.