As pointed out by a talking head last night, if that’s the case, why don’t Russians have Australian accents? 
Why, then, are Australian accents so different from Irish ones?
Are there other world accents that could be the result of substance overuse? For example, could US accents be a product of heavy tobacco use?
I’ve heard from an actual australian in the wild that their accent comes from the British accent being spoken out of the sides of their mouths from the times when they were all criminals. They weren’t allowed to talk to each other freely, so they had to talk to each other on the sly-like.
This could be all BS, but it seemed like it could be plausible enough that I never checked into it elsewhere. Also, I’m lazy and didn’t care enough.
Back when I would be invited to parties, or when I enjoyed going to my favourite pub, I’m told that I sounded Australian when I was drunk.
I have no evidence of this.
(Maybe the Russians are speaking Russian with an Australian accent?)
I know someone who can speak Russian with an (American version) Irish accent.
Jonathan Goldsmith speaks French in Russian.
LOL, I’ll pay that.
I read that article and decided that the bloke who wrote it was either a tool or he was taking the p155. The New Zealand accent is very very similar to the Australian one, but they had Maoris not Aboriginals (who speak totally differently), it wasn’t a penal colony, didn’t have the same number of Irish and have always been lightweights on alcohol consumption, so pretty much none of the supposed factors flow over.
Why not just argue that the Australian Accent developed by people learning to speak with their mouth almost closed so as not to keep getting a mouthful of flies.
I recently heard an Australian friend’s very drunk accent. It sounded somewhat like Ringo. Does that mean that Liverpudlians are drunk Australians? Must do more research.
Danes are of course drunk Norwegians.
The author sounds like a complete tool. Reading what I can about his background and his linkedin page he has no background whatever in historical linguistics and he references no research whatever about how the Australian accent came to be. As far as I can see, his assertions about the role of alcohol are quite simply Shit He Made Up.
He shows all the signs of being a sad prescriptivist who doesn’t have a clue about how words, spelling, accents and pronunciation change over time and are not handed down from on high by gods.
A large part of his assertions seem to be a hissy fit about dropped consonants and vowels pronounced “wrong”. My pre-teen could tell you that vowels have been constantly on the move throughout history and geography, and his “wrong” vowels were probably “right” a hundred years ago, and will be “right” a hundred years from now, and already “right” in some other English speaking part of the world.
Further, while he doesn’t like dropped consonants, I wonder if he considers that every consonant in Cholmondeley or Leicester should be pronounced? Or is it OK to drop consonants if you are an upper class Englishman? And what about the French? The best French involves dropping consonants all over the place. And what about the fact that English as spoken by “well-spoken” Australians and English has become non-rhotic, so “r’s” have effectively been dropped wholesale.
The guy’s a drip with not a clue.
Actual Australians get great joy out of whooshing foreigners. Just sayin’.
An Australian told me that they talked that way because drop bears can hear most British accents and will move in for the attack. Are you saying that that is not the case? 
Well that one actually is true. There are few ways to better enrage a drop bear* than to speak in a British accent.
I mean, speaking in an American accent is obviously one of the other ways, but that goes without saying.
To my ears, the speech patterns of some prominent media personalities in the UK sound slurred (as in: induced by alcohol) to the point where I have difficulties understanding what they say, for instance Jonathan Ross, Clive Anderson and especially Michael Parkinson. Maybe it’s just me, since English isn’t my fist language, but accents from the United States usually don’t give me any trouble at all.
All three of those people speak quite quickly and Jonathan Ross can’t pronounce his "r"s, so it’s not surprising you find them difficult to understand.