During the days I was away from work, the bathrooms were upgraded with automatic toilet flushers. There’s a little box thing at the back of each toilet; the little box thing has a small black screeny thing, and there might be a kind of red laser beam thing inside the black screeny thing.
First of all, they need to warn people. I didn’t notice the change, and the first time the automatic flush went off on me, I almost had a heart attack.
The auto-flush triggers as soon as one’s butt is about two inches off the seat. This means that one does not have time to complete the chore that involves toilet paper before the toilet flushes. This means that one must then initiate a second flush, using the “manual flush” button, to dispose of the toilet paper.
I work with a few truly paranoid people, and they are whispering the rumor that the “butt detector” screens of the auto-flush mechanisms are actually cameras!!! Why oh why, my zany delusional coworkers, would the company want photos of its employees’ assholes?