Lid that automatically closes after use (once you flush.) heated, padded seat. Automatic deodorizing spritzer thingie. Two-directional built-in bidet, with adjustable water temperature and pressure. One of the plumbers tried the bidet function while installing the toilet & it shot a jet of warm water easily 12 feet across the room.
I’m a painting contractor, and since I was the only female on the job site, I got the honor of “christening” the thing.
Oh my. I really want one of those things now! 
What a wonderful thread title. However, I have to throw my two cents in. I’m not a big fan of the padded seat. Usually, when it comes time for me to sit down, I’m there for the long haul. Those padded seats form an airtight seal, and my ass gets all sweaty.
Sorry 'bout that mental image, folks.
Connor-
WAY too much info
Zette
And the thing is, I’m in no way overweight. In fact, many consider me skinny, as in “Connor, are you eating enough?”, or “Connor, have another helping”, or “Connor, I think you have a parasite”, or “Connor, have aliens been stealing your food?”, or “Connor, why so damned skinny?”.
I’ve never used a bidet before. I know Cecil has a column on it, but what’s the best way to learn? Just practice? Personally, I just don’t think there’s a good substitute for a good hard scrubbing.
Again, I apologize for these images I present.
Connor, I don’t like padded seats either, but this one was very comfy!
As to bidets…I love em. Nice warm little rinse, wipe & go.
Or should that be, go, wipe & go. 
May I suggest that you not let ChiefScott anywhere near it?? :eek:
::fleeing::
The whole bidet thing confuses me. I understand the workings of it but not the etiquette.
So you get all wet and clean…how do you dry off? Toilet paper in the USA would just leave little chunks of sodden tissue all over your ass.
What happens if you run out of TP? How can you air dry? Do you have to shake like a dog?
Please explain it all to this naive (aka stupid) American.
The office I work in used to be a plumbing supply place, and the bathroom is this incredibly extravagant affair with mirrored tiles everywhere. It’s amusing to show it to first-time visitors to the office, but on the other hand, it’s not that pleasant to be able to watch yourself take a dump from about eight different angles.
Sue…you just use TP to dry off. TP doesn’t disintegrate, because it is designed to mop up urine. Bidets don’t drench you.
And if you run out of TP, then you can shake your booty, but at least having a bidet gives one a plan B when there’s no TP left!
Cheers.
I don’t think that toilet paper’s primary engineering motivation was to soak up urine. Although that is an aspect of the TP that us men oft times forget.