Automotive Masochism

Well, my cars hate me.

With a passion, apparently.

First the radiator in the Aurora decided that it didn’t feel like it should remain in a nonporous state. So now my car appears as though it is unable to make it to the bathroom in time. The car tries to hide it too, instead of just spraying a stream of it everywhere, she got very subtle and just lets it dribble out a drop at a time. As if I won’t notice the car sitting there, whistling with its hands in it’s pockets, and a big wet spot between it’s tires.

I mean c’mon, I may be less than observant at times, but I think I can tell when someone wets themselves.

It also seems that no companies make the automotive equivalent of Depends, so now I have replace the radiator. Admittedly though, my car would look pretty funny with a giant saturated diaper hanging down though.

Now to Godzilla. I had intended on taking her to a car show today, but nooooo.

I can’t do that of course. As I hop into the car to leave the gas station (mind you that I had driven there, just in case you couldn’t figure that out) and what happens?

Click.

Try again.

Click (ad nauseum)

After a protracted fight to bring the car back to life (picture me with the defibulator) I put down my jumper cables in defeat, and admitted that my starter had bit the dust. In front of the gas pump.

Now, for those of you not aware, Godzilla is not a small car. She is a 1967 Chrysler. This car is composed of enough steel, that recycling her could net enough raw materials to rebuild the Titanic.

They had bondo in 1912, right?

And all 18 bazillion pounds of this car, is blocking the fuel pumps.

So I have to walk down to the shop to get my dad’s truck, which is, unfortunately, a very common occurance for me. In one of the rare instances of luck today, my Aunt Sherry drove past me, and even offered me a lift, sparing my poor little legs the strain of exercise. After using my dad’s truck to grab some tools, a new starter, jack stands and other needed tools, I get ready to change the starter.

Now, I should mention, that this car was absolutely refusing to start.

At least 20 times, over a 3 hour period, this car failed to start. And it wasn’t me sitting there just listening to it click either. Connections were checked and cleaned, the starter was coaxed with my standard fix it tool (hammer), and it was attempted to be jumped twice.

With the jack under the car (not lifting it) and the jackstands off to the sides, the tool box chilling beside the car, me all set to swap out the starter in the Sheetz parking lot, I figure, what the hell, I’ll try to start it one more time.

Turns key.

Roar.

It starts. WTF???

Now, mind you, I did swap the starter out later on, but I just made sure to drive it straight to the one garage, without shutting the car off.

My cars hate me.

I had a 1967 chrysler Newport custom. I once pitched a tent in the backseat on a bet, it is a huge car.

The issue with which you are confronted is probably not one of failed components, but failed wiring. At a specific point in automaking history, there were a very few cars built with aluminum wiring or aluminum wiring components.

My chrysler would fail to start about once a week. Each time, I would pull out a meter and trace the starting circuit back to the ignition switch, and end up replacing or jumping a wire or a badly corroded aluminum connector. I was in the habit of carrying a coil of wire under the seat against just such an eventuality.

Fact is, the chryslers were well know for horrid electrical systems. (some models more than others). Great engines, the 383 in my chrysler is still powering someone’s truck around town today.

Don’t feel especially picked on. Cars, especially older chryslers, hate everyone.

b.

Billy’s right. (I had a 1971 Chrysler Newport in high school. Gods, how I miss that car!) Another common problem with them is that their voltage regulators aren’t the best. In talking with people more expert in car repair than myself, they say that the best thing to do is to yank out the Chrysler alternator and regulator and replace it with a GM 1 wire alternator. That, apparently, fixes a good number of the problems.

Wiring gremlins on that car have been attacking me basically since I got it.

Aren’t old Chrysler’s great?

Being the glutton for punishment that I am, I also have a '74 Road Runner. So not only do I have the horrid electrical system in the Chrysler (which is a Newport Custom, BTW), I also have the one in the Road Runner too.

I’m doing The Prince of Darkness quite proud.

I’m actually running out of electrical system on the Chrysler to replace. New wiring in areas, new terminals and connectors, alternator, starter…

I thank Og that the car was a very low option vehicle, so wiring is quite simple.

It’s fun though. I highly reccomend full size mopars over the smaller ones. Much easier to get to the under dash wiring in one of those :slight_smile: