Well yeah, but vast areas of Hawaii are literally uninhabitable. Knife-edge mountains, canyons, lava fields…
Yeah, but that’s true of New Jersey, too. 
My wife and I spent most of our time in Hawai’i on Maui, but in the time we spent on Oahu, Honolulu struck me as a smaller, friendlier, more easy-to-escape version of Los Angeles. Having roots in L.A., which I’m fond of despite its size and sprawl, I enjoyed Honolulu.
And like everyone else has said, don’t go to Hawai’i and eat at the freakin’ Cheesecake Factory.
And OP, get a copy of Oahu Revealed, and try some of its recommendations, until you know your own way around. My wife and I had very good luck with the Maui version of that guide during our vacations there.
Why the parking deck hate? If they had parking lots instead, there would be even fewer spaces.
Saying “avoid Oahu” because of poor experiences in Waikiki is like saying to avoid all of California because LA sucks.
I’m guessing most of your time is spent in Waikiki, downtown, on freeways, or to or from your base. Of course you’re going to hate it, that’s the boring stuff. No one spends time at those places because they’re pleasant.
Take some time to learn the island. Don’t get all your information from non-local colleagues. If you are friendly with residents, ask them where they go to eat. What do you like to do in your free time? Find out where the locals go for that. I’ll bet you ten bucks the majority of their recommendations won’t be in a tourist trap.
You complain about traffic and parking. People who take public transportation don’t complain as much. Oahu has a decent public transportation system and you should definitely look into it if traffic and parking is such a big deal to you and you primarily travel to and from Waikiki. No, it won’t get you places as fast as driving, but with traffic being one of the worst in the nation (routinely top 5 I believe), you’re not going to get fast anywhere.
There are many, many reasons locals don’t go to Waikiki, except maybe once or twice a year for a prom or big family dinner. I understand it’s comforting for mainlanders to see chain restaurant names and the pretty tourism veneer, but if you limit yourself to that stuff, you’re missing out on a lot of great places. Have you even had a plate lunch or malassada yet?
Go explore. Lots of people would love to be in your shoes. I moved away willingly and I’m kind of envious of you.
I’m with you on #6 though.
Everything’s a trade off. I’ll take all of that over the 7 months of cold weather, and the 30 feet of snow we get. Oh yeah, and the fucking black flies.
Maybe because I’m a dog person, but I got stuck on this one. What on earth does the DMV have to do with spaying or neutering your dog? What is the certificate for?
Already have plane tickets and lodging to arrive 11/28 so too late to heed your advice.
Maybe DMV doesn’t stand for Department of Motor Vehicles.
Department of Motoring and Veterinarians?
Division of Mammalian Vasectomies?
This. I live three miles from work and walk sometimes, takes about 40 min and that’s walking leisurely. If I was stuck in traffic just to go two miles, you bet I’d walk if not bike all the time.
Despite the OP, you can have a great time on Oahu. Honolulu is a city with some issues but it isn’t bad overall either. The Waikiki area is nice and you can go into any of the resorts if you look like you belong there. I took a personal tour of them all for free and had lots of got experiences but it is closer to LA on the beach rather than what you would think of as classic Hawaii.
Try to hit Sandy Beach and the North Shore if people in your party are really good swimmers. You don’t get waves like that anywhere on the mainland. I can’t even surf and I thought it was a blast but stay safe because it can be quite dangerous and the lifeguards won’t even let you in the water if they don’t think you are very strong swimmers.
There is also a lot of really good mountainous hiking trails on the island. Snorkeling and the food trucks on the North Shore are a long haul (about an hour by car) from Honolulu but well worth it. That is where you can get the classic Hawaiian vibe on the island.
I asked for tips a few years ago when I went to Oahu. I actually did a number them and all of them were spot on. Maybe you can benefit from some of them too.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=643901&highlight=stones+oahu
I forgot to mention, Pearl Harbor and the USS Arizona memorial in particular are incredibly good. I would rank that as my #1 museum exhibition I have ever seen and I have been to a ton of them. The fact that it is still leaking visible fuel to this day makes WWII seem incredibly poignant in ways that few other things can.
I was stationed in Oahu from 2001-2004. Hated it. Now, I’m not going to run down the place, because I recognize that many of the things I didn’t like about it can be charged to the way I’ve chosen to live my life; like, if you like the beach, HI is probably great, but I kinda hate the beach. I’m not going to complain about the food, because I spent a lot of time eating Chili’s and Jack in the Box on purpose, although I did occasionally go out with shipmates to try the local fare and, every time I did, it was good.
The things I primarily hated about HI, that no change in attitude could have done anything about were:
[ul]
[li]It was an island; I hated the fact that I couldn’t just get into my car and leave on a duty-free weekend.[/li][li]I was over five thousand miles away from my son, and there was no chance of my ex moving there; in fact, my getting those orders were what contributed greatly to our split, in the first place.[/li][li]It was 83 and sunny, every damned day. I’m more of a 70 and cloudy guy.[/li][/ul]
The only good thing about being stationed in HI for me was being able to watch Kings games, and still get to bed at a reasonable hour.
I’m gonna plug Oahu Revealed again, then. I’ve never used their Oahu guide, but their guide to Maui was great. Extremely detailed, really gave us a great idea of what to expect at each beach near where we were staying, restaurant recommendations were on target, stuff like that.
A million people living on a 500-square-mile island? Impossible! Well, except that 1.5 million people live on Manhattan, which is one fifteenth the size. And 1.4 million people live on Hong Kong Island, which is even smaller.
I don’t know if other people didn’t notice this little gem or what, but I actually lol’ed at this.
I looked up exactly why pet neutering/spaying would be under the DMV in Honolulu.
There are multiple services covered by the Department of Customer Services, from everything related to motor vehicles to public transportation (TheBus) passes, pet licensing, and voter registration.
The OP referred to a certificate for neutering/spaying. I assume he’s referring to the Neuter Now certificate, which subsidizes the cost of fixing one’s dogs or cats. They can be purchased from the Hawaiian Humane Society or any Satellite City Hall office. You don’t have to go to the DMV.
Hawaii doesn’t require a certificate for every single spayed/neutered cat or dog, so this certificate thing only applies to people who want a low-cost spaying/neutering. It’s not like there’s a flood of residents lining up for a eggs/nuts-snipper certificate next to the folks getting their learner’s permits.
I never been to Hawai’i, so I really can’t comment very much on the living conditions, traffic, general economy, parking, restaurants (I won’t even make the obligatory comment about the Cheesecake Factory)…except:
The law office I work in California for needed to serve a document on a subject in Waienae, which is in/on Oahu. I had the devil’s own time trying to find a local process server who would go out there. It wasn’t so much the driving distance as the fact that Waienae is not the nicest place on Oahu. The general impression I got was that it was a slum with palm trees.:dubious:
And another thing. Even if Hawaii were boring, where would you rather be bored? Hawaii, or Bumfuck, North Dakota?
Yes, Waienae is over on the far western side of the island, far, far away from Honolulu. Rather poor, and haoles (white people) are few and far between. Maintains a lot of resentment against the “colonizers.”
Exactly.
Another great thing about Hawaii, which is probably particularly good on Oahu, is the music. Hawaiian music traditions are alive, well, and delightful to listen to. Check out the soundtrack from The Descendants if you don’t believe me. Hawaiian music is a lot more than the tacky touristy Don Ho image a lot of people have.
That’s a great movie. It doesn’t name the location, but the family lives in the Manoa Valley of Honolulu. The Manoa Valley is arguably the most beautiful part of the city of Honolulu. The university is up there too, and at one point in the film you can see the tower of the Public Health/Medical School in the background.
Side note on Don Ho. He came to Bangkok 10 years ago for stem-cell treatments that were not approved in the US. Died not long after anyway, but he claimed he felt better afterward.