Aw, Gus 'tis full of rants

[anya_marie]

Yeah, what the fuck Craigslist? Way to fail.

I wish I knew why someone would steal my trashcan. I don’t, because if I am going to steal something, i could think of a thousand things I’d like before stealing their trashcan. It’s fucking pathetic.

What the fuck do I want with some other asshole’s can? Gods only know what they kept in it and if it was washed occasionally. Grody to the max. If wandering dogs got in it, the bags would be torn up but I would still have the can.

Instead I get to look like a schmuck, because the can that was there Tuesday, is gone Wednesday. Nobody saw much because people are at work. The trash company wants $50; and a police report to replace it, AND THEN, the sour spoiled cherries on this shit and botulism cake is that they want me to go to THEM and get it.

I drive a Pontiac Grand Am, and it might not fit in the car, because it certainly won’t fit in my trunk.

I called the police but I question how much good it will do, as they have yet to call me back.

[Cheez_Whia]

I had to spray paint the cans with my house number in one neighborhood to keep the neighbors from stealing them!

I don’t live there anymore.

[Catamount]

@EmilyG

Sometimes squirrels and crows get into our trash here. Many years ago we had a cat who’d always get into the garbage if we made the mistake of letting him out on garbage day. He’d even rip up bags of clothes that we were donating to charity, because they looked like garbage bags to him.

My favorite bear in the whatever story: My boss’s brother-in-law had a minifridge on his porch that he would keep beer in. A few summers ago a bear would go up on the porch every night at nine, open the fridge, take a six-pack, and amble off into the woods.

I like to think that the bear had a very long day at the Office of Foraging and Rummaging and wanted a few beers when he got back to his cave to relax and watch TV.

[Seanette]

NM, wrong tab.

[Truman_Burbank]

Right. Wait until the wife goes off on a little 4-day adventure, and invade the kitchen the very next morning. If I can’t get you assholes dead and discouraged in 2 more days, she’s gonna ‘know’ we have an ant problem because of my husbandly housekeeping skills.
I hadn’t even had a chance to **not **clean anything up yet!

[kaylasdad99]

@Dunkelheit

I think the point was: who refers to THEMSELVES by any name at all, as opposed to personal pronouns? How would she do so in the course of a natural conversation? “Hill and Stace are going to get coffee now” instead of “Stacy and I are going to get coffee now”?

You know what? As long as she’s not saying “Stacy and myself are going to get coffee now,” (or worse, “Myself and Stacy are going to get coffee now”), I’m going to be okay with it…

[Doctor_Why_Bother]

Staying in a hostel dormitory this evening. I have a small gripe with one of my “roomies”. To wit:

Sir,

If you snore like a fucking pneumatic drill, don’t book a bed in a dormitory you stupid cunt! I hope someone cuts your head off.

Yours faithfully,

DWB.

[claramorena]

To the manager at payless,
Yes, my mother and I are latinas and we speak Spanish to each other. Yes, we went into payless shoes to BUY SHOES not to rob you. Do not follow us asking us five times “Do you want anything?” and “What do you want” and start following my mother and I. When we tell you we are just looking at shoes. Do not stare at us and do not follow us around the store. Do not even glare at my mother when she speaks to me in Spanish. Do not work retail since you are a bag of shit.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Lynn_Bodoni

<snip>
And just WHY is that book closed? Hmmmm? Books need to be open, for maximum feline enjoyment. My cats haven’t figured out my nook yet, but they’re pissed about it.

I know my cat likes rubbing all over books while I’m reading them, but I didn’t know she liked sitting on them. I’m sure she would have preferred it open, too.

@kayT

Thanks all for the cat pix. Thanks Cat Whisperer for the Ting Tings - awesome. <snip>

I was worried that cat pics would make it too MMPish in here, but it kind of it an MMP for grouches already.

[Seanette]

@Cat_Whisperer

I know my cat likes rubbing all over books while I’m reading them, but I didn’t know she liked sitting on them. I’m sure she would have preferred it open, too.

I was worried that cat pics would make it too MMPish in here, but it kind of it an MMP for grouches already.

There seems to be some overlap in population, to the point I got confused about which thread I was in earlier and tried to post a comment to the wrong one. :o

This picture seems relevant.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Seanette

<snip>

This picture seems relevant.

“This is pertinent to my interests.”

[Catamount]

@claramorena

To the manager at payless,
Yes, my mother and I are latinas and we speak Spanish to each other. Yes, we went into payless shoes to BUY SHOES not to rob you. Do not follow us asking us five times “Do you want anything?” and “What do you want” and start following my mother and I. When we tell you we are just looking at shoes. Do not stare at us and do not follow us around the store. Do not even glare at my mother when she speaks to me in Spanish. Do not work retail since you are a bag of shit.

That’s when you start insulting them in Spanish.

Or write a letter to corporate, but that’s less fun.

[Neidhart]

@SpazCat

My favorite bear in the whatever story: My boss’s brother-in-law had a minifridge on his porch that he would keep beer in. A few summers ago a bear would go up on the porch every night at nine, open the fridge, take a six-pack, and amble off into the woods.

I like to think that the bear had a very long day at the Office of Foraging and Rummaging and wanted a few beers when he got back to his cave to relax and watch TV.

Was it Hamm’s beer?

[WolfpackJeep]

There is a group of people in my neighborhood who were involved in an unauthorized party at the pool (it’s my understanding that they broke into the clubhouse). These people are using the neighborhood email list to discuss this issue, and they are just SHOCKED that the property manager has barred the people who were directly involved with the party from serving on the advisory board. The emails are both amusing and shocking…it’s a wonder these people can function in society with such a sense of entitlement.

[Sario]

FUCK
FUCK
FUCK

Finally got a car for my wife and fucking dies on us a month after we get it.

[vivalostwages]

Since late May, I’ve had either cervical radiculopathy or carpal tunnel syndrome. Maybe both. Maybe something else. Who knows, when such things mimic each other’s symptoms?
Every doctor and specialist claims to know what it is and what to do. I can just imagine these folks in the same room fighting over the diagnosis and treatment plan:

G.P: Take pills for the neuropathy and see the neurologist.

Neuro (after giving me nerve conduction study and very painful EMG): It’s carpal tunnel for sure. Wear a wrist brace. Otherwise you may need surgery later.

Chiropractor: Don’t take that poison. Don’t let anybody cut you. I can fix the problem in your neck [which did, in fact, show up on the MRI, although it’s not really that serious] and the hand issue will resolve. And stop eating white trash, because it’s inflammatory.

Acupuncturist: I can keep putting needles in the arm and hand until it’s better.

Cousins who are registered nurses: Use hot and cold packs as needed. Try different foods. Fix up your bedding and pillows so you sleep in a better position.

Me: What is it? What should I do? What to believe? Surgery or not?
In the meantime, the tingling and numbness in my hand are driving me nuckin’ futs.

[Nava]

Today I had in my mailbox a flyer from one of the local pizza places advertising their Halloween menu.

HELP!

[Filbert]

Dear new crazy neighbour,

If you must be utterly batshit crazy, please try and be a little quieter about it, ok? Maybe you could sleep sometime, or at the very least, choose a perch that isn’t right outside my bedroom window for your all day and all night hobby of yelling weird shit at people.

I am moving out, so thankfully I’ll only have to avoid stabbing you for a few more days, but, until then, please stop doing the following things:

Waking me up three times in one night (3am, 6am, 8am, as well as being so loud at 1am that I couldn’t get to sleep in the first place), especially when I have an interview in the morning;

Trying to start fights with some other guy calmly sitting inside his house, because he has his window open, and you ‘don’t like being looked at’, (somewhat hypocritically considering the fact that you sit staring at me in my bedroom when you’re bored, unless I shut the curtains, or, as now, sit in the one corner invisible to you- and quit doing that while we’re here);

Yelling at everyone going into the corner shop, telling them to shop somewhere else, because the shop’s racist- to be fair they might well be racist, they certainly aren’t very nice there, and they have tried to cheat me in the past, which is why I now use the other shop further away- but I think the main reason they don’t like you has nothing to do with your skin colour, but rather a lot to do with the fact you’re a fucking headcase;

Repeatedly yelling ‘WOOO’ (followed every time by a manic laugh- over three times a minute for 15 minutes earlier, I timed it)- I’m starting to hear phantom 'WOOO!'s now when nowhere near the area, which is sort of scaring me;

Then, lastly, especially given the above, stop trying to flirt with me every damn time I walk out of the house. Just… no.

[Filbert]

Oh, and PS, crazy neighbour? Shouting obscenities either at, or at least right in front of, a little girl’s birthday party isn’t OK either.

I can’t tell who he was calling a ‘fucking bitch’ just then, as it was (very loudly and repeatedly) directed at the door, rather than obviously at a person- could have been the mother, could possibly have been me, but that’s just messed up. Luckily there’s quite a few adults there, and currently the kids are just ignoring the crazy man and happily playing on a bouncy castle. If he starts it up again though, I think calling the cops might be a plan…

I’m not going to miss this area.

[curlcoat]

Dear Youtube

NO I DON’T FUCKING WANT TO CHANGE MY ID WITH YOU. STOP ASKING AND ESPECIALLY DON’T BLOCK THE VIDEO I WANT TO LOOK AT WITH THAT BULLSHIT AGAIN!!!
gasp