While we were idly discussing how terrible it would be to be President of the US, my 30-year-old daughter told me she’s always remembered some great advice I gave her: “You know how to play piano. You could always be a piano player in a whorehouse rather than resort to politics.”
I’m very proud of myself! What’s the best advice you’ve given your child (or your parents gave you)?
My parents taught me best by example, to work hard, tell the truth, and honor my commitments, among other lessons (not all of which I learned very well). My father also showed me how to use power tools to make stuff out of pieces of wood, and how to do other handyman stuff around the house. The only advice I remember him specifically giving to me was when I was in high school, and had loaned my best friend some money. It was the time-honored one to not lend money to a friend, as you are likely to lose both the money and the friend. I had not heard that before, and it made sense to me, but I am glad that it did not become true in that case.
More technical advice than the above: When I was learning to drive, my father explained the sun shades. “If the sun is on the left, you should adjust your shade, and if it’s on the right, you should have your passenger adjust theirs.” I asked, “What if the sun is shining in right above the rear view mirror?” He replied, “You should shake your fist at it and shout, ‘They should do something about that fucking sun!’” I’ve never had reason to question this sage advice.
Teach your kids that when they become parents, saying “you’re my child, I love you, I’m here for you, big hug” can make about any situation better.
“Measure Twice. Cut Once.”
OMG, I am so cracking up because once my Dad told me that I needed to learn how to play the piano because whorehouses were always hiring and he want me to be the one who played instead of one who got played. I will confess that it took me a while to figure that one out, he was a functional alcoholic and his thinking could be rather obscure at times.
“Measure Twice. Cut Once. Use Shims.”
When my kids were little, I used to take them by the hand…then turn quickly and fart into their little palms. All fun and games until you go to grab their hand in a parking lot and they shy away from you! When my son had a kid, I reminded him not to fart on it.
“Never borrow money to buy a depreciating asset”
When deciding on a college I had two choices: a major university and a small college. My dad told me that the large university was the better choice because as long as I stayed in my home area, people would know I got a good education no matter which one I chose BUT if I ever moved out of the area the large university would have the gravitas that would help me out. And he was correct on a couple of occasions. In fact, it has worked in reverse as I got my master’s degree from the top school for special education in the area but once I moved to a different state, everyone looks at it as, “Meh, just another state college.”
My dad had some good advice for me.
My dad’s wearily-repeated advice to me, his terminally clumsy daughter, on the frequent occasions I’d injure myself or break something: “Don’t join the bomb squad, kid.”
Smart man your dad.
You’re proud of yourself for teaching your daughter that she shouldn’t take part in politics? I think that’s terrible advice.
Keeping good people out of politics is how we get terrible government policies. We need to get more sensible people to run for office, not fewer; and we certainly don’t want to discourage people from voting – and from first finding out what they’re voting about.
– from my mother: “Sorry doesn’t fix it.” I didn’t think that was good advice at the time; but I’ve come around to agree with it. Apologizing doesn’t do any good if you’re going to keep doing the same wrong thing, or if you’re not doing whatever you reasonably can to repair the damages.
– from my father: “If three people tell you you’re drunk, go lie down.” (I never actually saw my father drunk, he was a light drinker.) There are exceptions to this – if it’s 1963 and everybody’s telling you it’s nonsensical to claim that gay people should have equal rights including to marry, you’re still the one who’s right no matter how many people tell you you’re wrong. But if a lot of people are telling you that you’re wrong, you ought to take a good hard look and consider the possibility that they’re right. (And if three people literally tell you that you’re drunk but you haven’t been drinking, probably you ought to go see a doctor.)
My mother gave me two pieces of advice that I credit as big impacts.
The first, while I was considering high school electives was “Take a typing class. It will be useful no matter what career you end up with.” She was right, but for reasons she couldn’t foresee (It was useful during undergrad years because I wrote every paper I turned in on a little portable typewriter, but I wrote my PhD thesis using a combination of vi and troff on a VT200 terminal, which was helped immeasurably by my ability to touch type.).
The second addressed personal hygiene. She told me that I as I finished brushing my teeth in the morning, I should lightly brush my tongue, cheeks, and the roof of my mouth and I’d never need a mouthwash. She was right.
My stepfather didn’t give me much advice, but the most useful advice he gave was “Don’t become a farmer.” (He was a farmer).
Yeah, I got that from my mom too, and it was great advice. My dad didn’t think it was so hot, saying I’d have a secretary to do my typing. But I took the class in 9th grade (I’d been hunt & peck typing my school reports since 6th grade) and boy oh boyardee, did that ever pay off.
I was one of 4 guys in a class of 26 girls at that time, and took some abuse for doing a ‘girl class’ but frankly I didn’t care.
I think the best advice my parents gave me is “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.”
I had a cousin who came to live with us when I was in junior high and high school. He was a bit lost and needed a change in scenery and a bigger city to get his footing again and find a job to make some money. My parents took him in with the understanding that he would get a job quickly and pay some nominal amount of rent in exchange for the spare bedroom. Well, he quickly started taking advantage of my parent’s hospitality. Over the next several years, he would run up the phone bill talking to his girlfriend (back before phones had unlimited long distance), never pay a cent in rent and, eventually, he moved his girlfriend in to live with us. It was a tenuous situation. Finally, after my parents started putting their foot down, my cousin and his girlfriend up and left one day, stealing a bunch of stuff in the process. My parents have never taken in another cousin, or any other family member, again. We learn from our mistakes. Be generous… but not stupid.
From dad: “if you pay off your credit cards in full each month, you get an interest free loan from the bank. If you keep a balance, you pay about 20% interest. Never keep a balance.”
From mom: “Everybody is crazy. They just lock up the ones who complain about it.”
Also, “clean the inside of your ears. You don’t want to gross out a girl when you are with her.”
And “kiss a girl like you are trying to kiss a ripe peach without bruising it.”
Actually it was someone else’s father that told me “Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.”
My stepfather used to say that all the time. He was full of pithy one-liners like that. Probably his best advice was to start saving for retirement as soon as I became an adult. I didn’t, but I started in my twenties and would be worse off if I hadn’t.