I gave one like this to Pepper mill for her birthday (She’s a substitute teacher):
The holiday catalogs are arriving by the crateload. Haven’t bought any of these, but they at least made me smile:
*My wife says I have two faults. I don’t listen… and something else.
Science doesn’t care what you believe.
Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Sometimes we just snuggle.
And then Satan said, “Put the alphabet in math.”
Some things are better left unsaid. But I’m probably going to say them anyway.
Sarcasm: it’s how I hug.
Shhh. No one cares.
That’s a terrible idea! What time?
Sorry I’m late, but I don’t want to be here.
Let me see the candy first, then I’ll get in the van. I’m not stupid.
Vote for a clown, expect a circus.
Of course your opinion matters; just not to me.
Yes, that’s correct. And the horse you rode in on.
I acted my age once. It was boring.
My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.
Decaf only works if you throw it at people.
Are you a blessing or a lesson?
Sorry, I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.
Sometimes I meet people and feel bad for their dog.
Who cares about apathy?*
And on a doormat: Come back with a warrant.
I’ve talked a lot on this board about my extremely poor sense of direction. Yesterday I saw the perfect T-shirt.
A funny one for any Star Wars fan: Alderaan 5 Day Forecast T-Shirt | SnorgTees
There’s one Christmas gift for my younger son. Thanks.
This place has great t-shirts and other household items, all in the same block-print font.
Also if you want anything on a T-Shirt, as long as it doesn’t break any copyrights or trademarks I can probably make it for you.
Some I love from Northern Sun:
https://www.northernsun.com/It's-Mueller-Time-TShirt-(8579).html
My gf just gave me this t-shirt.
The shirt reads:** LEBOWSKI 2020**. THIS AGGRESSION WILL NOT STAND, MAN.
She knows me well.
Love it!
Bumped to share some other good ones I’ve seen lately in catalogs:
*Lead us not into temptation. Oh, who am I kidding? Follow me - I know a shortcut.
I have a preexisting condition: I’m AWESOME.
Revenge is beneath me. Accidents, however, do happen.
Sorry I’m late. I got here as soon as I wanted to.
I don’t struggle with math. I gave up a long time ago.
Some days, it’s not even worth chewing through the restraints.
Underestimate me. That’ll be fun.
A day without beer is like… Just kidding. I have no idea.
I’m sick of being my wife’s arm candy.
Keep talking. I’m diagnosing you.
So far this is the oldest I’ve ever been.
Apparently I snore so loudly it scares everyone in the car I’m driving.
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
Bigfoot saw me, but no one believes him.
In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Except bears. Bears will kill you.
Social distancing? I’ve been preparing for this my whole life.*
It’s old, but I still like it…
Paging Beck
Great T-shirt for pilots: I stumbled upon this quite by chance a couple years ago.
I just had to buy it immediately. I still have it. (They have it on a coffee cup too.)
I miss Spice Weasel.
I want a T-shirt that says, “In my defense, I was left unsupervised in a bookstore.”
This is my favorite:
Nap more, worry less.
Similarly, I have a hat with “Wag more, bark less”.
(That shirt is the bomb, I need it)
My favourite newest shirt says: Avo-gato, the pix is a Cat in an avocado suit.
Very cute.
“I Beat Anorexia”. Perfect gag gift for your friend who is getting a little flabbier than they prefer, and is a little self-conscious about it.
“My Mom thinks I’m at the Movies”. Ideal for college kids, or the older Failure-to-Launch generation.
“I am currently unsupervised.
I know, it freaks me out, too.
But the possibilities are endless!”
The second link, “Nietzsche is my co-pilot,” reminded me of this one I saw at the UofA years ago.
The front of the shirt…
God is dead. - Nietsche
The back…
Nietsche is dead. - God
“You had me at bacon”