Here’s mine:
A bunch of superheroes were at a picnic. And there was a three-legged race, you know, where you and your partner stand side by side with your inside legs tied together. Anyhow, the partners were supposed to be picked randomly, but one superhero was smart enough to rig the selection process so that his teammate was someone who complemented his own strengths perfectly.
So, who won?
Batman… because he was pre-paired
That WAS pretty awful.
A bunch of horny old house wives walk into a strip club…
Penis ensues!
How is this doper-oriented? 
“Batman, if he’s prepared” is the standard punchline to a thread asking who would win in any sort of contest.
A recently-uncovered document incidated that a group of mad scientists in the 1970s decided to clone the main characters of old RKO Pictures films. Unfortunately, they could only get their hands on the original costumes of King Kong, and even then they only had the materials to find DNA from the lead actress. Pressing on, they produced a batch of ten clones in their facility and moved them to a remote Pacific island covered in ancient statues to raise them. One died, and in the autopsy it soon became evident that the clones were flawed; their ears had failed to form properly and thay had no ability to hear. The project was deemed a failure and the scientists bailed, abandoning the clones to nature. Over a decade later, another mad scientist decided to reuse the old facility for his newest megalomaniacal scheme. He was overjoyed to open up the bunkers and find:
Nine teen twinned Easter Isle’d deaf Wrays.
Ooh, that hurt.
Groaaannnnnn!!!
Being a newbie, not sure if this is particularly “doper-oriented”, but it’s a similar thing:
A man went to stay in a hotel, and as he was about to go to bed all the lights went out. Since he was not yet undressed, he went downstairs with a torch to investigate the problem, to find the Chinese [this is not a racist joke, it just helps (slightly) with the punchline] night porter asleep at the reception desk. The guest (who we’ll call Albert) rouses the porter, who of course immediately notices the prevailing darkness. Before Albert can utter a word, the Chinaman exclaims: “Ah! Need more dogs!” “I beg your pardon?” replies Albert, politely. "Let me explain. In basement there is treadmill connected to dynamo connected to wires for electricity in hotel. At night dogs are tired and some go to sleep, so treadmill not go fast enough. But if we get some more dogs…
…many hounds make light work!"
I have more, if anyone would care for more groaning practice…
Oh. I don’t venture into CS very often.
I had a greeting card with a really cute photo of a mallard wearing a crown on it. I was really upset when I accidently ripped it, and then I got more upset when I couldn’t find it. When I finally came across it, I said