Not at all - I think all the congratulations on an unwanted pregnancy are not cool. I’m commiserating and supporting her in a difficult time.
It’s not unwanted, it’s unplanned. There is a significant difference. If it was unwanted, she has options, as she is very aware.
First of all, like Manda JO says, this isn’t an “unwanted” situation. Secondly, “commiserating” with someone over a situation they’re scared of and trying to be positive about is about the opposite of supportive.
I’m feeling a little better today. Last night my husband and I played, “I can’t wait until…” where we both put a hand on my belly and talked about all the things we are looking forward to with the baby. The first time he/she wraps their little fist around your finger. The first time they give you a kiss of their own accord. That crazy baby laugh when you play peek-a-boo with them or tickle their stomach.
We got as far as the first time the baby is able to say, “I love you Daddy!” before my husband started crying and then we had to stop because he couldn’t handle it anymore. It brought the situation from, “Hey, there is a thing in my uterus and it is making me sick!” to “Oh my god, that is our baby in there!”
Aw, that’s awesome, pbbth. Sounds like your husband is going to be a great dad! 
Congrats, pbbth - here’s hoping for a smooth ride the whole way and an awesome baby to show for all your trouble!
I wasn’t thrilled about my pregnancy either. I found it a huge pain in the butt (sometimes literally). We’d tried for three years to conceive, adopted, and then SURPRISE. I’d crossed the whole “need to experience the wonder of childbirth” thing and moved into “important thing is parenting.” Plus, I had a baby at home when I was pregnant.
What everyone is saying about the epidural - true. You really won’t notice it. And, with a hospital birth, you will likely have an IV - which always creeps me out. At least, I had an IV, but I’m a strep B carrier, so they were pumping me full of antibiotics the whole time. The thing with the IV, is that it also delivers other drugs - Nubain was the drug of choice for the “lightly medicated” when I gave birth. So there are other drug options, but do your research, everything has pros and cons. If you are on a website that doesn’t acknowledge the pros to any sort of “intervention” - you’ve probably gone to far (from how you’ve described yourself) into crunchy granola hippieland (hippieland is a fine place for those that are so inclined and educated about the risks in hippieland, you do not seem inclined) If you find anything that doesn’t talk about any of the cons - you’ve probably gone too far into “knock you out and a baby appears” territory via 1958. Your OB or their nurse will also be able to provide wonderful information on helping you create a “birth plan” (that you shouldn’t get attached to - the probability it gets thrown out the window seems anecdotally to be directly correlated with how attached you are to having a birth as planned.)
FWIW- my advice to anyone having a baby in a hospital is to allow them to put a cannula (IV line in) when you arrive, whether or not you agree to any drugs going through it.
This is because, if you agree early, and have a needle phobia, it can be done easily with numbing cream, distraction, support, etc, just in case it is needed.
This is better than having to have it done quickly, with little regard for your feelings if, god forbid, something bad happens and it is needed to save your life.
Remember- as well as drugs, IV lines are used for blood transfusions and fluids. No matter how natural a childbirth you decide to have, there really isn’t a good “natural” way of dealing with a large amount of rapid bleeding.
:eek:
Okay, point taken. I will not fight the IV and I will actually encourage them to put it in right away so it isn’t forced on me to prevent death and destruction at a later time.
For what it’s worth, I’ve had both, and the colposcopy was way worse. More terrifying, more painful, and without the condolences of the most adorable baby in the world afterwards! (Yes, your baby *will *be the most adorable baby in the world, just like mine were.) Maybe I just had a bad colposcopy, but I really should have been sedated, or at least given a couple of Valium, because it really was the worst Gyne related procedure I’ve ever had done. My c-section (second kid) wasn’t as bad as that colposcopy. If you can do that, you can do labor.
Awwwwwwww… 
I remember my IV - which was done very soon after my hospital arrival (perhaps something about having “RH-” and “Strep B +” all over my folder). As I said, IVs creep me out, so that was memorable. However, in the scope of everything gone through to get pregnant, be pregnant, give birth, and recover from childbirth - IV - pshaw!
(I suspect the fluid part of the IV is important. They don’t let you eat or drink while in labor - or they didn’t for me - I got to suck on some ice chips. And its WORK to be in labor).
By the time we got to the epidural, I remember someone asking me to roll on my side and that is ALL I remember about the process of getting an epidural.
I will second that. Colposcopy was worse. In my experience there are a lot of things far more painful than childbirth: Sinus infections, earaches, uterine biopsy, and toothaches for starters, as well as general post-operative pain. I could never understand why somebody might claim to prefer the general surgery of a caesarian birth. Other things I’ve not experienced but observed to be far more painful: gallstones, kidney stones, appendicitis.
Sinus infections and earaches? Really?
We want to start trying to conceive in a couple of months. I don’t do well with pain or needles. But I’ve had sinus infections and earaches in the past, and survived them.
Never worked for me, and thankfully I lost both kids before it was an issue, and had an abortion on the third one [my kidneys shut down, my BP shoots to the moon, pregnancy and i are not friends]
I had a spinal tap at 5 years old and when they say you forget pain, they lie through their teeth. It took 4 hefty orderlies to hold me down, and I still will wake up from nightmares where they are doing it to me again. The idea of a needle aimed anywhere at my back sends me into a full on hysterical screaming panic attack. If you touch me in the middle of my back when I am asleep or drowsing, or even if I am zoning out and not paying attention to someone behind me you are inclined to get violently attacked.
Congrats!
I’m a huge wuss at the doctor’s as well, so I know where you’re coming from.
I’ll just offer a minor observation. When it comes time to get the epidural, the thought of having a needle in your back will be the furthest thing from your mind. You’d probably eat dog turds while someone sticks a needle in every finger and toe just to get that juice flowing in you.
Wow. Did a huge double-take at the username / thread title combo, and then I still assumed it was a babysitting issue. So, again, wow! OK, three things:
-
Congratulations!!!
-
I have no advice to offer, but fortunately, you aren’t lacking for that in this thread. I’ll just say that I know that things will turn out well for you guys, and that is awesome!
-
This means you aren’t going to have time to make me pancakes, now, doesn’t it? :mad:
Uh, I’m not sure this post was as helpful as you intended it to be.
Or perhaps you didn’t intend it to be helpful? 
:eek::(Okay, I’m back to being terrified now.
Heh. Babysitting indeed! You are still welcome to pancakes, but you have to bring **jsgoddess **with you and make faces at the baby while you’re here.
Yeah, I’m sorry. That sounds like it really sucks. I’ve heard terrible things about spinal taps.
I was, of course, assuming the OP didn’t have actual trauma associated with her fear, but rather a more standard never-had-needle-in-back-why-should-I-start-now fear that most of us have.
pbbth, epidurals are NOTHING like spinal taps. That is, I have been fortunate enough never to have had a spinal tap, but as far as I can tell they are much more horrific. As I said in my last post, my husband had an epidural, he wasn’t going through childbirth or really even in a whole lot of pain at the time (er, I think so, I should ask him to make sure), and he was fine with it.
I had an epidural and haven’t woken up even one time with an epidural nightmare.
Really - it’s not a big deal.