Babies in microwaves

The column: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/194/did-a-stoned-babysitter-once-microwave-a-baby

It happened in Ohio four years ago, too, alas: http://www.wkyc.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=124017

Babies. The OTHER white meat.

Not a microwave, but in Auburn, Maine, in 1984, a man named John Lane cooked to death his girlfriend’s four-year-old daughter in an electric oven. He has claimed he was under the influence of drugs and was convinced the girl had to be thrown into “the lake of fire” to exorcise her of demonic possession. He was convicted of murder and sentenced to life without parole. The mother was tried for manslaughter for her role in the death, but she was acquitted.

Happened in Texas too. The baby didn’t die but was badly injured.

Thankfully this wont be an issue in the future. I recall reading that all microwaves made since 2003 have some sort of fail safe mechanism that prevents human babies from being microwaved on any power level higher than defrost

I suspect that is a whoosh, but on the chance it isn’t, how is a microwave going to be able to detect the difference between a baby and a roast?

Obviously it has a sensor to detect the baby crying.

That should come in handy in Alaska.

There is one movie you do not want to see, and that is Philosophy of a Knife (2008). It is a based-on-reality “documentary” of how the japanese experimented on the Russians during the Second World War. Seriously though, don’t watch it, its pretty gruesome, brings to mind the horrors of the Nazis. And then I went to the hospital and saw that most of the X-Ray and other radiation machines are made by the Japanese, makes me wonder how they figured out how much people can be exposed to. We all know the Nazis advanced medical knowledge due to their experiments. Anyways, don’t download it (it’s available in torrent form) and most important of all - don’t watch it, cuz it’ll give you nightmares.

The horrors some people subject children to make me sick and furious. It brings tears to the eye. I just don’t understand it.

It’s very similar to the temperature probe.

Do we?

I remember a thread awhile back on that very subject and there didn’t seem to be any actual useful results. I’d say it’s correct to call them experiments, because they tested actual hypothesis* but I don’t know if there are any advances because of them. Just askin’

*Albeit stupid ones.

According to these sites there was useful medical knowledge gained, though some of it was rather specific.

http://www.shoah.dk/doctors/experiments.htm

This site briefly summarizes experiments, including altitude simulations using pressure chambers, how long people live and how they die during freezing, and methods to rewarm someone nearly frozen. Also, treatment methods for mustard gas injuries and incendiary bomb wounds from phosphorous, tests of the effectiveness of sulfanilamide on infected wounds, and malaria drugs. All of these were tested by inflicted the injuries/infections deliberately and then testing the medications/treatments. Apparently they also studied the effects of various poisons on the body by feeding them to victims.
http://www.remember.org/educate/medexp.html
This site gives a bit more detail on the freezing experiments and experiments performed on twins. In particular, it describes various methods for rewarming frozen people and that the most successful was a slow warming bath rather than rapid heating. Also, body heat was used with some success (including sex), but wasn’t as successful as the warm baths.

So yes, there was useful medical data gathered.

Are you kidding me. The lady almost got away with it! Ide be interested in knowing more facts of the case. Any help out there…

Whenever I hear about a baby-in-a-microwave-oven story, I can’t help but think of a recipe in a cookbook I got in the '80s – for Roastit [sic] Bubbly Jock.

It’s just the name, you know?

I think one of Robin Williams’ earliest records had the Mister Rogers parody:

“Let’s put mister hamster in the microwave…
Pop goes the weasel!
That’s severe radiation, boys and girls. Can you say ‘Severe Radiation’?”
(some drunk in the front row gives it a try…)
“Ah knew you could.”