Microwaved Baby

Comments on Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports
#1

The whole origin of the “Nuked baby” is just another example of the garbage that is anti-drug paranoia. Supposedly, the babysitter smoked marijuana and then nuked a baby by mistake. It never happened that way, all of that is just propaganda, just like the garbage that got me in trouble once in High School. A teacher told us a horror story about a guy who was “So desperate for heroin that he injected drano and died.” I got into trouble when i told the teacher"No-he just got burned. Someone TOLD him it was heroin and he trusted them."

The best way to fight the drug problem is not through made up garbage in the spirit of the “your face will freeze that way” of parental warnings. The solution is to realize that kids are a hell of a lot smarter than we give them credit for. The anti-drug message that made the most lasting impression on me was not the “this is your brain on drugs” rhetoric, but a simple documentary on PBS when I was a kid. A lady was describing how she knew when she got the “good stuff” in a batch of heroin. “when you Sh** and pi** and throw up all at once, then it was good smack.” That made me never want to try it.

#2

And the link in question would be
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_213.html#update

#3

The UL is old, but this did happen IRL just a few months ago.

However, the person claimed to have had an epileptic seizure, not to have been high on mind-altering substances.

#4

Epilepsy can make people act very weird. Dostoevsky’s novel The Idiot is about an epileptic (not really an idiot).

FWIW, I came across this story in the Washignton Post: http://search.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/WPlate/1999-12/02/180l-120299-idx.html

It says: Gregory said the case is the only known fatal microwave oven incident in the United States. Two cases in the 1980s resulted in two children receiving serious burns. In one case, a 1-month-old baby was placed in a microwave in Michigan and sustained burns “very similar” to those that killed Otte’s baby, Gregory said.

Maybe the other two cases invlved drugs - who knows.

#5

Oh, if this were only anti-drug propaganda. Unfortunately, this falls under child abuse. Once again we find out what really horrible people do to hurt their children and sadly it becomes Urban Legend and cast off as just another made-up story. I have a brother who is a police officer and has actually witnessed on more than a few occasions the microwaving of babies amongst other unthinkable acts of violence to children. It sickens those of us who care, but what seems to be even more sickening are those who joke about it or try turning it into a story of whimsical fantasy or a drug-induced mistake. There’s no mistaking these or other acts of child abuse.

#6

It sounded to me like the OP read the original story Cecil wrote, but not the update about the recent case.

#7

So then, if one police officer in one town or city has witnessed more than a few cases of microwaved babies, there clearly must be thousands, if not tens of thousands, of cases across the United States, no?

#8

Baby…the other white meat!!!

#9

Last weekend a man near Phoenix doused his two year old daughter with gasoline and set her on fire. People are capabable of phenominal cruelty so I don’t find the microwave story so far fetched.

http://www.msnbc.com/local/RTAZ/1594.asp

#10

i just read the article.
i am extremely sad.
i cannot imagine how a “mother” could place her ONE MONTH old baby into this mechanical box, take time to close the microwave door so that the entire object to be heated fully fits, then one, two, then three digits to heat the “object”, then WAIT TIL THE BABY IS HEATED, while he/she undoubtedly cries! this is a “crazy SEIZURE”? correct me if i am wrong, but does not the word “seize” by which “seizure” is derived have a sense of quickness, jerkiness? indeed this woman must be insane. but, to say that what she was due to a seizure is not only stupid but also dangerous. what she did is worse than, god forbid, killing a baby in rage by shaking or hitting. she is a cold, mechanical murderer. and, she is dangerous. and, if indeed it is decided that this act is a direct result of severe epilepsy, should we consider sterilizing severely epileptic women? the judge/jury should consider this implications in its decision.
this woman is a monster.

#11

Plenty of pets also get thrown into the microwave…but then weren’t there stories before of babies put into regular ovens before microwave ovens came along?

#12

I’m no expert, but I read somewhere that scaling children with hot water (usualy not fatally) is a far more common form of abuse. Setting a kid on fire is likely to set something else on fire as well.

As for pets… http://news.excite.com/news/r/991211/12/life-parrot “US student jailed for microwaving pet parrot”

#13

what the fuck!?!

argh.

“I play the fool, Pyotr Alexandrovitch, to make myself agreeable.”
–Fyodor Pavlovitch, Brothers Karamazov

#14

Some years ago, in the midst of a slow afternoon on the job, several co-workers and I decided to nuke a “Peep” – the yellow or pink sugar-coated marshmallow chicks very popular around Easter.

We placed one in the center of the microwave and fired it up. For the first ten seconds or so, it squatted motionless. Then, as if possessed by satanic forces, it began to quiver uncontrollably and balloon ominously. A few seconds later, as we stood agape, it simply exploded.

It was, in its twisted way, a uniquely satisfying moment.

#15

Years ago, a roommate and I came home hungry after a night of drinking. It being past 2a.m., Domino’s was closed. So we decided to wave Pop-tarts, Not quite a peep in the “pure sugar” department, but close. Anyway, in our “state of mind,” for lack of a better term, we forgot to remove them from the little metal wrapper. After a few sparks, the wrapper went up like a piece of flash paper, and the icing burst into flames. Damn it burned high and hot. My roomie’s girlfriend was unhappy to say the least, about cleaning the scorch marks. Anyhow, over the next two weeks, whenever a fellow “twisted one” came by, we demonstrated the flash paper effect, sans the Pop tart.