I heard, then Googled.
Yes. There are bugs living on the base of eyelashes. Everyone’s. Yes, yours too.
Oh, lord. This can’t be true, can it? I’d know it. I’d feel it.
What keeps them from crawling around looking for better digs, like my eyebrows or the hair on my head?
Someone call 911.
I need an ambulance.
I need medical care immediately. This. Is. An. Emergency.
Aaaaaccckkk!
This thread puts me in mind of a time when my son was young. We had just found out he had head lice, and as we were driving to the store, the song Magic, by Pilot, came on the radio. I made the boy laugh by telling him that the background singers in the chorus going “lalalalalala” were just his lice, singing along. I still laugh when I hear it now.
Happy day, @Dung_Beetle !!
I was going to say that the base of an eyelash was their idea of heaven when it dawned on me that I didn’t know that they don’t sometimes migrate. Now I’m curious.
Dang. This is going to take up brain space.
Thanks!
Nothing to worry about – eyelash mites are adorable.
Also, they spend most of their time buried in your eyelash follicles with only their tails sticking out.
See, adorable, right? Wikipedia says “The mites can leave the follicles and slowly walk around on the skin, at a speed of 8–16 mm (3⁄8–5⁄8 in) per hour, especially at night, as they try to avoid light.” So just sleep with all the lights on and you’ll be fine.
It doesn’t much matter which cool anecdote it reminds you of. This is just a great thread / username combination.
I hope he was old enough that he took it as the joke you intended. If not, then like poor beck here with her lash mites, he’d be scarred for life. 
Yeah. The mites like to migrate. The rest of your head hair, nose hair, ear hair, you name it. Eyelashes are especially wet & oily which is what they like to eat. Hence why they’re head down in @markn_1’s second pic; they’ve got their mouth parts happily feasting on your continuous oozing of eye goop. Numm numm numm; if you listen verrry carefully, like Horton, maybe you too can hear a who. Or the chorus of your hundreds thousands of resident D. Folliculorum chowing down.
OM freakin’ god!
You really don’t want to know about the raging multi-dozen inter-species warfare taking place in your stomach all day every day. You really don’t.
Dammit – first the story about the giant mutant tropical caterpillar (that one wasn’t from Beck) and now this! This litany of “things that can’t be unlearned, although you wish you could” is a plot to make me lose my appetite and drive me further into the clutches of the Demon Rum and Satanic Vodka than I already am! Blech! 
At least you can jump into a bottle.
Alcohol! Great idea! I bet none of those creepy crawlies can survive being submerged in hootch!
Bartender! I’ll have a Harvey Wallbanger, please!
~VOW
Oh, I never knew that song was about eyelash mites. I guess it’s saying that even if you burn your eyelashes off, you won’t be free of eyelash mites. Hardy little buggers.
I just started reading The Modern Bestiary and face mites get a mention.
Plenty of other superbly gross and disturbing facts, written in a very entertaining style. I recommend it to anyone who doesn’t get squeamish when the likes of bed bugs and parasitic wasps are discussed.
This is a great thread for those who have trouble sleeping.
This thread has sent me off to the interwebs to see if there are any new solutions, or identifiers of the cause of my rosacea. Sadly, the answer is: Nada. Sign.
I am now the proud owner of three sunscreen fabric balaclavas to protect my skin. I’m going to look like a white-wearing Ninja now. Wheee.
What I especially love is that Big Bad Beck, who’s challenged and conquered creatures great and small, is creeped out by creepy crawlies! skritch skritch!
Luv ya Beck!
You mean like these?
And those mites look like they have tails, but I pet that’s just their body shape.
All the creatures that Beck loves are furry and cuddly. Insects and mites are neither furry nor cuddly. There’s a reason that nature equipped us with an innate sense of what is attractive and what is revolting. For instance, members of the phylum arthropoda (which includes, but is not limited to, the class insecta) are formally characterized by the following attributes:
Physical form: way more legs than necessary. No fur. Not cuddly.
Purpose: to be stomped on, swatted, or sprayed.