[QUOTE=Max Torque]
Y’all can relax, because I win this thread. I declare victory based on the song “I’m Gonna Spend My Christmas With A Dalek” by the Go Gos (not the Belinda Carlisle Go-Gos, an earlier British pop band). Listen and be dumbfounded.
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Try Goin’ on a Date with Santa as performed by Dr. Elmo (of “Grandma Got Run Over…” fame). Yeah, a guy singing–badly–about going on a date with Santa.
[QUOTE=Slypork]
While I am sick of all Christmas songs because they have been playing since Thanksgiving, at least acknowledge why the Little Drummer Boy was playing his freaking drums. The original lyrics didn’t say “Baby Jesu” or, worse yet, “Little Baby”. His name is Jesus, dammit! That kid with the snare was drumming for Christ. Say the name!QUOTE]
I agree with you, but I think the original lyric is Baby Jesu, because it should rhyme with “I am a poor boy, too” But that “little baby” thing just makes me want to hit something. It doesn’t work within the song and it’s a really stupid change. Is it really too hard for people to understand “Baby Jesu”?
[QUOTE=gotpasswords]
I have to nominate a local curiosity. Vic Damone’s Christmas in San Francisco, a horrid, cheesy bit of work. The thing rambles on for quite a while, and I was able to find a small snip of the lyrics. It’s really much, much worse once set to the lounge-lizard style music:
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Ugh. Whenever we get in the car my wife insists on tuning to the literocklesstalk station, which has been playing carols 24/7 since Halloween. And “Christmas in SF” pops up with annoying frequency, along with the aforementioned “Last Christmas” and “Simply Having a blahblahblahba”. And Streisand’s “My Grown-Up Christmas List”. Puke.
I actually love Christmas carols. My home playlist has about 10 hours of quality classic recordings. It’s missing this commercial crap that are really just cheezy pop love ballads with a vaguely xmas-y theme (generally, I’m so sad my baby isn’t with me on xmas).
[QUOTE=Etumretniw]
At the top (bottom?) of the list must be, for me, “Last Christmas”, I believe it’s called.
You know-
“Last christmas I gav you my heart, but the very next day, you gav it away. This year to sav me from tears[…]”
And he really pronounces it like that- gav instead of gave, and sav instead of save.
Maybe it’s some weird dialect with which I’m not familiar, but I hate it non the less.
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I never noticed it, but just now I listened on youtube, and you’re right. It is odd. The “gav” especially.
I’ve held my tongue in the thread that is praising this song, so I hope the lovers of this tune show me the same respect, but I can’t begin to conceive why “Fairytale of New York” is either a good Christmas song or a good song in **any ** sense of the word.
Oh dear. This is my favorite Christmas song. Honestly. 
I loathe Feliz Navidad (ubiquitous to the nth degree), Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (Debbie Downer Christmas), and Mele Kalikimaka (especially by Bing Crosby). I also love Run, Run Rudolph - the Chuck Berry & the Dave Edmunds version.
VCNJ~
[QUOTE=ultrafilter]
I heard"I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" at the grocery store yesterday. If this song didn’t mention Christmas, I don’t think anyone would ever listen to it even once. What is it about Christmas music that causes otherwise reasonable people to lose any sense of good taste?
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[QUOTE=SaharaTea]
“Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul McCartney. I guarantee it will now be in your head the rest of the day.
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This song makes me physically angry. I want to go and beat the shit out of a mall santa every time I have to hear that pointless reverby synth line.
Granma Got Runover by a Reindeer
[QUOTE=SaharaTea]
A very close second: “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul McCartney. I guarantee it will now be in your head the rest of the day.
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I both hate this song and like it at the same time. I can’t explain it.
I dislike the Christmas songs with “rock” in the title or lyrics.
The song I really hate, the one that makes me want to harm someone or something is “Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses. I’m not sure how much airtime this one gets anymore, but I truly despise this sham of a song.
[QUOTE=Lady DeathKraft]
I both hate this song and like it at the same time. I can’t explain it.
I dislike the Christmas songs with “rock” in the title or lyrics.
The song I really hate, the one that makes me want to harm someone or something is “Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses. I’m not sure how much airtime this one gets anymore, but I truly despise this sham of a song.
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Ooh…I LOVE “Christmas Wrapping”! The fact that the Shrek holiday special included that song redeemed the whole misbegotten thing in my eyes…
[QUOTE=Wheeljack]
Have you heard Charro’s rendition from Pee-Wee’s Christmas Special? She would very much like to wish you a Meddy Ceesmas from the bottle of her nuts.
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Ah, Charo, the woman who once referred to the decor of the Surreal Life house as “Liberace with diarrhea, 1980.” Truly the first weirdo female celebrity- without the horrible Britney/Paris/Lindsay aftertaste.
[QUOTE=mobo85]
As for Christmas Shoes, I’m pretty sure Jesus doesn’t care if you’re wearing nice shoes or not when you die- unless I just overlooked the part of the Bible where it says “no shirt, no shoes, no service” (or as Rev. Lovejoy put it, “no shirt, no shoes, no salvation”).
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Actually, God prefers barefoot. He’s one of those “take your shoes off in the house” kind of Gods.
Regards,
Shodan
“Do they Know It’s Christmas” is absolutely the worst.
[QUOTE=Nanoda]
I’m hearing Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer more times than I’d like to have this year, and for some reason have realized… those other reindeer are a bunch of sycophantic jackasses! They only like Rudolph 'cause he’s suddenly the big man’s right-hand reindeer, otherwise they’d still be giving him grief about his nose.
So I don’t like that song this year.
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What I hate is that Santa knows who’s naughty and who’s nice, right? Everywhere in the whole world, right? Thousands of miles away even. Shouldn’t the naughty or nice thing apply to his reindeer who are right under his freakin’ nose too? Why didn’t he step in and make them quit picking on Rudolf long before that fateful foggy night then? I guess he’s just not as nice as all the PR makes him out to be or he just didn’t care until he found a way he could exploit Rudy’s unusual talent. Bah humbug on Santa, I say!
Whatever that song is with the line “Come on, it’s lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you.”… I don’t have a problem with the lyrics, but the sound of a cracking whip does not sound festive to me.
[QUOTE=Tikki]
What I hate is that Santa knows who’s naughty and who’s nice, right? Everywhere in the whole world, right? Thousands of miles away even. Shouldn’t the naughty or nice thing apply to his reindeer who are right under his freakin’ nose too? Why didn’t he step in and make them quit picking on Rudolf long before that fateful foggy night then? I guess he’s just not as nice as all the PR makes him out to be or he just didn’t care until he found a way he could exploit Rudy’s unusual talent. Bah humbug on Santa, I say!
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Oh, man, the Santa in that special (the Rankin Bass one) was EVIL. Purest evil. But that’s something of a hjijack…
I have that, but on vinyl. It’s an acquired taste.
And I like Weird Al’s “Christmas at Ground Zero” and “The Night Santa Went Crazy”, but not played very often. And not while sipping cocoa or at the fireside. Maybe they’re songs to play while paying bills.
I heard a Jack Johnson version of “Rudolph” in a store this year that added a verse about Rudolph shaming the other reindeer for their shallowness.
I used to hate Christmas songs, but I’ve been able to mostly avoid hearing them against my will, which helps a lot. Now I have four discs worth of Christmas music on my iPod (the three Santastic collections and The 8bits of Christmas). My least favorite Christmas song is The Jackson 5’s version of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”.
I Farted On Santa’s Lap, Now Christmas Is Gonna Stink For Me