Presumably without the drinkin’ and hot hot sexin’ **HotSmoke **got first, though.
[quote=“Shot_From_Guns, post:161, topic:521365”]
Presumably without the drinkin’ and hot hot sexin’ **HotSmoke **got first, though.[/QUOTE
Hey, I USED that very excuse to get out of a bad date!!! Not Kidding…
When I lived in Las Vegas, I met a really hot guy who invited me to go to dinner and we had a really nice time. After dinner it was still early so he invited me back to his place to watch a movie. Guess I’m naive cuz I thought watching a movie meant watching a movie…whatever… the minute I walked in the door he started grabbing at me!! AND he had the most stinky breath I’d ever smelled in my life! PHEW WEEE! WTH died in your mouth, dude? I pushed him away and tried to laugh it off, thinking “I am NOT kissing that! How on earth do I get out of this?” He backed off for a few minutes and then started trying to kiss me again. I really didn’t want to hurt his feelings but no way, hosay…
Before I knew it I had blurted out “Do you believe in God?” He looked confused for a moment and then dropped his hands to his sides. Then I told him I was a born again Christian. Told him God didn’t want me to have pre-marital sex or anything and He was watching us right at that very minute!! You should’ve seen the look on his face. Priceless, as they say. I had to turn away so he couldn’t see me laughing. ; } Hindsight being 20/20 and all, he probably had it planned that way all along. Can’t blame a guy for trying, huh?
Needless to say, I believe I “deflated” his ummm… amorous mood pretty quickly. I left shortly thereafter and nope, never heard from him again. And God and I were ok with that.
And Hey, I guess “I” became HIS bad date! :D:D:D
I have a sordid story about a date involving a clogged up toilet if anyone’s interested.
Is that the one that someone linked about the weightlifter having to both pee and poop at the same time?
Does it count as a bad first date if your date caught her hair on fire?
So I met this woman, intelligent and nice. I like her, and so I asked her out. She agreed, so after a very good night out of talking and getting to know each other better, we decided to go to her place. To play chess.
Bear in mind that she has this older sort of apartment, and in her room, she has a heater, with apparently a live flame.
I’m situated facing the heater, and my date has her back against it. Chess ensues, and she immediately launches off into a Sicilian Defense. That was a shocker, and the only thought going through my mind is, “Marry me.” I’m having one of the best dates and chess game in a long time, so I was enthralled, not paying too much attention to other details. The room was dimly light, and from the corner of my eye, I thought I caught a wisp of smoke.
I figure that it was probably just an illusion of the lights, so I ignored it. Minutes later, I cracked a joke, funny enough that my date rocked backwards laughing; this time, I actually see a plume of smoke.
“Hey, you might want to check your hai, I thought I saw some smoke.”
“Yea, I thought I smeled something earlier, but I didn’t say anything.”
She turns her head to check on her hair, and developing on the back was a smoldering mass of disintegrated hair.
I called her the next day, and we met to go to the salon, and she ended up losing about six inches from her shoulder length hair. I never called her back, nor has she called me.
This has happened on a lot of first dates.
Hell yes. Also, please tell me that was an intentional Latin-based pun.
Ok - she loses six inches of her hair and so you never call her again? What’s up with that? Hair grows back on girls, y’know . . .
Hell, sounds like she was smokin’ hot. 
I had a first date from hell about 10 years ago. I met a man on line and he seemed very nice so he asked me over to see his farm. I told him I’d rather meet in a coffee shop. He was persistent about wanting to show me his farm. I thought well he is just proud of it and wants to show it off so I went over.
I pull down this dirt road looking for a farm and the number came up. It was a ranch with a shed out back. He came out to meet me in dirty cover alls and said let me show you my pigs! So I went around back and there was this huge mud pit with a bunch of snorting pigs. My shoes were sinking in the muck and I said very nice pigs you have. What else do you say? So her shows me into his house and it had about two inches of cat hair on everything. He showed me around and his bedroom was the worst. He had dark blue sheets that were mostly cat hair and looked pretty dirty. Yuck.
I started sneezing and told him I had to go I was allergic to cats. I got in my car and went home and took a shower and washed off the bottom of my shoes. He wasn’t a bad guy but not what I was looking for .
Don’t tell us his name was Robert Pickton … :eek:
No, Or I’d be porked!!!
It grows back?!
:smack:
This is not so much a “bad” first date story, but it is “amusing.”
I met this girl through an online site. Things started out innocent enough, but… actually, it wasn’t innocent at all. In one of my first messages to her, I asked her if she tastes like candy. She wrote back saying that no, she actually tastes more like girl scout thin mint cookies. “Mmmm”, I replied. “I love those! I could devour an entire box in one sitting.”
Funny enough since we had a recent thread on that, and I expressed how those cookies are the food of the gods.
So the other day I was on my way to meet this girl, and hoping that I wasn’t too late, and concentrating on trying to cross the street, and totally focused on how the date might go. My train of thought was broken by a tiny little voice. “Hey mister, you want to buy some Girl Scout cookies?”
Yeah yeah, go away kid, you bother me. I don’t have time. Please don’t bother me.
Hey, wait a minute. This gives me an idea…
Yes, my date was VERY amused.
Meh, if you don’t 'fess up on the details.
I waited until we were married before I “serviced” Mrs.kidneyfailure’s “car’s” “coolant system.”
I’m an old-fashioned gentleman like that, y’know…
I guess I was having a really good weekend one time, back in my single-girl days, and met TWO interesting guys in two days. Both asked for my number, called within a day or two, and arranged for a date the following weekend.
I arranged to meet Bachelor #1 (Bill) at a nearby movie theater on Friday night. Bachelor #2 (Steve) was a friend of my older brother, tho they hadn’t seen each other in a few years, and so I felt comfortable enough to invite him to pick me up at my house on Saturday night.
Friday night’s date with Bill was a disaster, not worthy of this thread really, but very dull and it was painfully apparent that he was far more interested in me than vice versa. He selected a truly awful movie (Weekend at Bernie’s 2 - possibly the worst movie I’ve ever seen) and afterwards, I begged off from the planned dinner, just to get away. Never have to see THAT guy again, I tell myself. Maybe tomorrow’s date with Steve will go better.
Saturday afternoon, Steve calls. He’s having car problems, and can he reschedule our date? Sure, no problem. He calls back an hour later, saying that a friend of his offered to drive. He’ll be there to pick me up as scheduled. Great. I’m ready to go, doorbell rings, and there’s Steve with his friend who will be driving.
It was BILL.
Not much more to tell, really. When she walked in she saw me sitting at a table, drinking coffee, and reading the paper. She greeted me with a hug, started setting her stuff on the table, and saw the box of cookies. She spent the next five minutes laughing her ass off.
The rest of the date went great.