Bad Muzak

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Okay, I know that sounds redundant, but…

I keep a mental checklist of the most ridiculous songs I’ve heard “Muzak”-ed. Up until today, the silliest example I had heard was the Moody Blues song “Legend of a Mind” (i.e. “Timothy Leary’s Dead”), in an airport bathroom. Yeah, it’s a nice melody, and kind of a pretty song, but who on earth had the bright idea of turning a song about tripping on acid into elevator music?

That was until today. I was in an elevator (of course), and the overhead tune seemed familiar. I frowned, wondering… could it be? No, I thought, it couldn’t possibly. I actually skipped my destination floor so I could stay on the elevator and keep listening to make sure.

And yes, when the song reached the bridge, I had confirmation, and my jaw fell open. It was a Muzak version of Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb.”

Oh, the horror…

2

Recently, I was buying groceries at a big, yuppiefied supermarket, when I heard the Doors “Break on Through to the Other Side” set to muzak. Damn, I feel old when that happens…

3

I once heard “Bye Bye Love” done as a polka. Ewwwww.

4

String orchestra and a trumpet playing Olivia Newton-John’s “(Let’s Get) Physical”

5

Beat this:
When I worked at the May Company several years ago, I often heard a Muzakified (?) version of the Dick Van Dyke Show theme…the same short melody repeated over and over, utilizing different featured instruments (first a trumpet, then a clarinet, then oboe, etc,).
Not the blasphemous offense of homogenizing Floyd, the Moodies, et al., but imagine how awful this was to listen to (and what cretin thought it was a good idea to begin with???).