So I was at my bagpipe lesson yesterday, piping away with my instructor eyeing me critically, making comments on the reed, the tune, etc.
Suddenly he says: “Don’t stand with your feet apart. Always stand with them together.”
Innocently, I say: “Why? does it look better?”
“No,” says he, matter-of-factly. “If you pipe with your feet apart, you can rupture yourself.”
So now I have yet another thing to think about while playing the pipes. In addition to trying to memorise the tune, keep my fingers working, blowing rythmically and squeezing the bag, I have to keep my feet together to avoid a hernia?
I’m starting to think they’re the Devil’s own instrument.
“Some men there are love not a gaping pig;
Some, that are mad if they behold a cat;
And others, when the bagpipe sings i’ the nose,
Cannot contain their urine.”
Some years ago, a pipe major in the Chicago area herniated his diaphragm while in concert. He more or less fell over as if pole-axed and started turning various shades of blue. Mouth-to-mouth and variations kept him alive long enough to make it to the operating room and emergency surgery.
Granted, this is an exceedingly rare complication.
Even so, the man in question managed a repeat performance of the hernia several years later in very similar conditions. At which point his surgeon suggested he play a somewhat softer reed and maybe slow down a bit.
Much more likely is the traditional groin-based hernia, but don’t exaggerate the dangers… the vast majority of pipers do NOT suffer from hernias. Take reasonable precautions, and if something does give way, see a doctor, OK?
Typists are more prone to carpal tunnel syndrome. Pitchers are more prone to rotator cuff injuries. So it’s not surprising that baggers would be more prone to complications stemming from chronic elevation of abdominal and pelvic pressure (or valsavaing).
Bagpipes and other wind instruments have traditionally been viewed as therapeutic for asthma and other respiratory conditions. But an American lung disease expert claims the bags are breeding grounds for microorganisms that lead to infections, chiefly because of the glycerine and honey used to cure them:
A “lung disease specialist” would be a “pulmonary specialist” or a “pulmonologist”.
Methinks the good doctor just doesn’t care for the pipes.
Interesting to speculate on why he’s got a blurb on the Beeb. Maybe a journalist called him up, maybe to follow up on something he’d heard him quoted as saying at a conference, and he was happy to oblige, and the article sounds better if it’s an “American lung disease expert” than if it’s an “American ear/nose/throat expert who has an opinion about something that’s out of his field.”
Or maybe the journalist just misunderstood Bob when he introduced himself. We may never know…
And apparently he’s the only doctor on the entire Internet who has perceived this problem. Googling things like “lung infection bagpipes” isn’t turning up anything.
Anyway, Piper, pipe away–methinks Doctor Bob is a nit.
Thanks for digging up the guy’s actual qualifications. The reason I went looking around for the story was that I heard a similar thing on some TV documentary (they had to impart the information accompanied by footage of a set of bagpipes comically deflating and squealing, of course). I don’t know if he would be the source of the TV story, too - I wouldn’t doubt it.
Welcome to hell’s symphony! Here are your bagpipes. Please stand between the banjos and the accordians.
Oh, TubaDiva, a Tuba is a brass instrument. Not a wind instrument which typically contains reeds. Unless they’ve greatly changed the tuba and didn’t tell me.
They really are supposed to clear all of those things through me
I may have missed it, but was the original question answered regarding the effectiveness of preventing a hernia by standing with your legs together as opposed to legs apart?
Your pompous presumption notwithstanding, apparently someone has neglected to tell you several things about the nature of wind instruments, or you neglected to listen.
While there are people who refer to the woodwinds specifically as “winds,” through shortening of the name, brass instruments are also wind instruments in that wind (breathing) is the foundation of sound production for both kinds of instruments. “Brass” referring to instruments is actually short for “brasswind.” Thus “woodwind” and “brasswind”; i.e. both wind instruments. For some reason, in English people rarely say “brasswind” anymore, but some still do. Do a google search on brasswind and see how many pages you find.
This is why a “wind ensemble” contains brass instruments.
And why a “wind quintet” contains a horn (“French” horn to English speakers if you want another misnomer).
Why the short name for “woodwinds” is “winds” instead of “wood” (thus not following the manner for brass instruments) is a mystery to me.
Note that the flute has no reed, but is both a wind instrument and a woodwind. Most flutes today are made of metal, but in their historical origin they were made of wood. The term woodwind originally referred to the construction of this instrument, not the existence of a reed. Recorders also have no reeds, but are wind instruments (and woodwinds). Saxophones are made of metal, but are called woodwinds because of the reed; this is because saxophones are a much more recent development than the other woodwinds. Student model woodwinds are sometimes made of plastic or polypropylene.
As long as people are gaggling in their astonishment regarding the misfortune of hernias among performers of wind instruments, I’ll add that hernias are a not infrequent problem for oboists and bassoonists as well, due to the large backpressure from blowing into the tiny aperture of the reed. It’s worse for oboists than bassoonists.
And while we’re at it on the terminology, sousaphones are often made of fiberglass, but called “brass” nonetheless. And while we’re on the subject of tubas, cornets, French horns, and euphonia are strictly speaking considered tubas, as they are conically bored, and what most folks call a tuba is properly a bass tuba.
By the way, Ms. Diva, I’ve never had a hernia, but I only played for eight years (and not at all in the past three). I’ve really got to get myself my own horn one of these days…
Jeez, Knorf. I’m very sorry. I bow down to your superior intellect. What was I thinkin taking on a professional baffoonist?
So, let me get this straight. It takes wind to work them thar insterments? You mean like the wind in your head? Or is it like the one coming from your ass? Though, I do admit they sound (Smell?) suspiciously similar.
Now, don’t get your knickers in a knot. I’m just picking on you. Let’s see if you people that blow for a living have a sense of humor.
I don’t normally use emoticons and I didn’t know the proper one for the winky graphic to show. However I did attempt to place one at the end of my post to portray a sense of goofing. Maybe you were a little light headed from blowing so much and missed it, so I’ve included one that should show the graphic.
