Baker’s Dozen III

Overheard at Trump’s hush-money jury trial

  1. “I just don’t think his bronzer is flattering under these courtroom lights.”
  2. “Not so loud. You’ll wake him.”
  3. “If I say I can’t be impartial, would that get me off jury duty?”
  4. “Zzzz… hamburder… Zzzz… Sleepy Joe…”
  5. Hey, do you think one of these jurors could be a sleeper agent?
  6. “Please, God, let me be in the room when the judge finally holds him in contempt and his own Secret Service agents drag him off to a holding cell.”
  7. “I wouldn’t believe Trump if his tongue were notarized.”
  8. “Does Juror #95 look like Pauly Shore to you…?”
  9. “Day 25 of jury selection is now concluded leaving four more spots to fill before they choose the alternates.”
  10. “I wish they’d turn up the heat in here. I wanna see Trump’s makeup melt.”